By Grantley Morris

Ideally, no one unable to enjoy marital relations should marry until fully healed. We need to take seriously both Jesus’ and Paul’s emphatic teaching that marriage is not for everyone:

    Matthew 19:10-12 His disciples said to him, “If this is the case of the man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry.” But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

    1 Corinthians 7:1,7-8,10-11,38-40  . . . it is good for a man not to touch a woman. . . . Yet I wish that all men were like me. However each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. . . . the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband),  So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better. A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.

In A Second Look at Conjugal Rights I explain why it is contrary to Christlikeness to force oneself on one’s partner.

In When a Woman Doesn’t Want Sex: Serious Help for Hurting Couples I explain why forcing oneself to have sex when one finds it repulsive is counterproductive and must be avoided.




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