Multiple Personality Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
I phoned an alter who was formed at age three. I’ll call her Baby. A gift had arrived and she opened it while I was on the phone. I wish you could have heard her. She’s so cute.
Baby wasn’t sure how to open the box. She didn’t trust herself with a knife, so an older alter opened it for her. Baby’s first reaction was to the beautiful gift wrapping. She wasn’t sure if she should treat it as a birthday present and not open it until her birthday. I encouraged her to open it.
She was then absolutely flabbergasted. She kept saying, “Wow! How did she ever know?” What she had received was nothing short of a miracle – stupendous proof of God’s great love for alters.
Thirty-five years ago a three year old was given a baby doll for Christmas. How she loved that doll! When she was six, the doll mysteriously disappeared, never to be found again. She was heartbroken.
From the age of three, she had been sexually abused and exposed to traumas so devastating that many alters were formed from that age on. One of these alters, Baby, was rather shy and had never communicated with anyone but me. One day, a compassionate woman indicated to me a desire to help people suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D). When I mentioned this to Baby and the other alters, Baby decided she would like to commence e-mailing her to befriend her and teach her about alters. The other alters were worried that Baby would end up being rejected. Wanting to protect her, they urged her not to contact the woman.
Fear of rejection is a huge thing for almost all alters, but Baby is exceptionally courageous. When she first surfaced she had been befriended by a sister alter who was only slightly older. I had taught this alter that since she was a child of the King of kings, she is a princess and princesses must be obeyed. I told her that when attacked by demons or flashbacks or nightmares she could attack back in the name of Jesus and they would have to obey her. The Lord gave this alter a sword that she would use to attack. When Baby saw her doing this, she threw fear to the wind and joined her sister alter in sending demons fleeing.
So courageous Baby decided to be brave and risk rejection or whatever might befall her by befriending this woman. She considered the chance of helping someone help other alters was worth the risk. I was thrilled.
She had desperately wanted a baby doll, but not just any doll, one exactly like the baby doll that mysteriously went missing thirty-two years ago. Since surfacing, Baby had cried over not having it, but did her best to restrain herself so as not to upset her host.
Her host had recently spent months searching shops hoping to find a replacement doll. I don’t know why she even bothered. It would be hard to find a doll that was fashionable just a few years ago, let alone thirty-five years ago. I guess the hope was for something vaguely similar but eventually she was forced to give up.
It didn’t take long for dear Baby to win over this loving woman. Sometimes the woman could not reply to her e-mail for a day or so, causing Baby to worry that she had somehow said something wrong and been rejected, but she kept mustering her courage. Before long, the woman announced that she was sending Baby a gift.
When Baby opened it she was absolutely floored. She had not mentioned her longing for a doll to her new friend and yet her gift was a baby doll. And it was absolutely identical to the one she had lost thirty-two years ago – same eyes, clothes, pillow, bottle, pacifier – everything! The only difference is that the new doll has a butterfly. A butterfly had always represented hope to Baby because butterflies had once been trapped in the darkness of a cocoon but now they are free and beautiful.
I asked Baby’s friend how she happened to choose the doll. Here’s what she said:
I went to the toy section and it wasn’t there! Undeterred, I kept praying about it and looked up and down the toy aisles multiple times, refusing to give up. Finally, I began to roam different parts of the store where no toys are usually kept. I happened to look above where the household cleansers are kept and saw some toys piled on top of each other in a rather haphazard way. Then I spied the doll! In fact, there were about four or five of them.
They were too high up for me to even reach them, so I called to an assistant who was close by, asking if he would get a ladder and retrieve a doll for me. Even with the ladder, he could barely reach it. Nevertheless, he picked out a doll and handed it to me.
Upon seeing the doll, I felt an inner certainty that its clothes were not the right color for Baby’s gift. I looked and all the dolls had that same color clothes. But I knew I hadn’t gone this far not to have exactly what I wanted.
I kept standing there looking, and realized there might be another box behind the last one. I asked the assistant if he would mind moving that box to see if there were another one behind it. He did, and then I saw what my heart told me was the proper doll to send. My heart rejoiced in God’s leading and in His goodness.
Baby named the doll after her new friend. She selflessly shares it with her sister alters, sleeps with it and highly prizes it.
I reminded Baby and all her sister alters that this was not just a manifestation of her new friend’s love, but also an incredible manifestation of God’s love, since its arrival was nothing short of a miracle. Only God could have known what she wanted most and been able to locate it.
I feel compelled to share this with you because it shows something greater than God’s love for one alter. All alters are extremely important to God. He does not tell someone in her late thirties, “Get over it! Grow up!” No, he gives her a baby doll, and not just any doll, the very one she most needs. He longs for her to receive all the love and comfort she missed out on as a little child so that she can fully heal. And if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, that is how he feels about your every alter – even ones that at present you might find hard to love.
For much more insight and help, see:
© 2008, Grantley Morris. May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.net Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.
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