Healing a demon possessed pedophile alter: Help & cure sexually abusive demonized insider

Healing a Demon Possessed Pedophile Alter

How to Help & Cure
A Sexually Abusive Demonized Insider

Multiple Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder)


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Nothing to Fear

A few alters, because of their tragically low self-esteem created by their abusers, might mistakenly think they are demons, and some uninformed people might sometimes mistake highly confused alters for demons simply because some alters have been tricked into doing bad things. Nevertheless, alters are never demons, and even when confused alters do bad things, it does not prove demons are involved. Moreover, this webpage demonstrates that even in rare instances where demons trick alters, this can be easily rectified.

For true Christians, demons are nothing more than a harmless nuisance. Just as everyone Ė even the best Christian Ė is tempted, everyone has dealings with demons. In fact, although we often talk of the devil tempting us, it is almost always his underlings Ė demons Ė since the devil does not have Godís unique power of omnipresence (able to be everywhere at once).

Not even the weakest Christian need fear the strongest demon. Itís as if all Christians have guns loaded with live ammunition and demons are weaklings with nothing more than blanks in their weapons. If a Christian imagined his/her gun is unloaded and that the demonsí guns are loaded, the Christian might cower, not use his/her weapon, and let demons order him/her around, but doing so would be as ridiculously needless as being scared of a butterfly.

Essential Introduction

What would be your worst nightmare: to discover that hidden within is a part of you that is demon possessed Ė literally enslaved by a demon Ė or to discover that part of you is a pedophile, terrorizing and sexually abusing other parts of you? The good news is that both conditions are easily healed.

This webpage features a Christ-loving woman with Multiple Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder) who had a part of her (an alter) who loved raping other alters and was controlled by a demon. The account is neither dramatized nor toned down but is the actual record of exchanges between the therapist and alter that resulted in healing. Besides name changes and minor grammatical corrections (the most common being capitalization of the beginning of sentences and of ďIĒ) and occasionally abridging the hostís messages and those of other group members, this is a blow by blow account.

If ever you meet a Christian with what seems to be a repulsive, crudely offensive, sexually abusive, hateful, demonized alter, you need to know that underneath that faÁade is a beautiful, deeply hurting, desperately lonely person who will transform amazingly quickly into a wonderful friend. All that is needed for this nearly unbelievable change is for the alter to be shown a little patience, gentleness and kindness. This webpage provides a highly encouraging, real life example. You can do similarly in the lives of other alters, and with similar success. The webpage also helps identify the difference between alters and demons and demonstrates how to deal with demons while showing gentleness to alters.

Before moving to the e-mail exchanges I should briefly explain how someone essentially nice can seem so vile.

When reality is almost intolerable for an abused person, there is enormous pressure to escape by imagining oneself to be someone or something that is not subject to abuse. I know one man who had an alter who believed he was a teddy bear. Another of my dear friends had an alter who got close to believing she was a dog, and certainly acted like one at times; eating dog food, drinking the dogís water and so on. In her family, children were abused but dogs were not.

In their desperation to find someone they can imagine themselves to be who does not get abused, alters sometimes either assume the full identity of their abuser or, more commonly, incorporate into their self-image certain features of the abuserís personality. This is often deliberately or unintentionally encouraged by the abuser. Alters who take on the full identity of someone they know are called introject alters. I have a webpage of similar format to this one of a woman with an alter who believed she was her abusive father. (Therapy / Help for Abusive Introject Alters / Insiders: How to Cure / Stop ĎBadí Alters) Obviously, until beginning to heal, such an alter could be expected to manifest many of the despicable qualities present in her father.

This current webpage features a male alter of another woman. This alter came close to being an introject but still believed he was separate from his abusive father but thought he was controlled by the absent father. This controlling influence turned out to be a demon.

Like the woman with the introject alter, this woman is a member of the Internet Group Therapy group I established for people with D.I.D. Group members remain entirely anonymous to each other. They even have their e-mail addresses suppressed and all communication is strictly confidential. It is only with the hostsí and altersí kind and full permission that I have compiled this webpage. Except for a very few private e-mails (sent direct to me without going through the Group), which are also included below, all exchanges took place in the Internet Group Therapy environment, which means that all group members could read all the exchanges, though no one was under any obligation to do so.

Swearing and crude language almost literally sickens me. I believe it accurate to say that I have never sworn in my life, but that makes me no better than anyone else. The alter featured in this webpage used offensive language and sexual references that will be upsetting to many adult readers (and quite unsuitable for anyone younger) but this was an integral part of who he was at that time and I originally thought that to remove it would involve such extensive tampering as to lose the whole impact of this webpage being a genuine, real life example of ministry to an alter and of what the love of Christ achieves in the lives of alters. Certainly for me, the removal of foul language lessens the emotional impact and yet for people like FF (the abbreviated name of one alter quoted below) it is normal language and was not intended to affect the reader like it did me. Nevertheless, I have tried removing it and it seems to work fairly well. Instead of an objectionable word I have placed *#!%@ and where necessary I have placed in square brackets a mild explanation of the meaning. The symbols for a foul word ( *#!%@ ) fall away in FFís writings solely because he was cleaning up his own language. If you discover a word I did not run through Find and Replace, please let them know Ė it was my final revision and given its length, I havenít had time to recheck it.

Should anyone be surprised if a sadistic, demonically-driven abuser of little children used offensive language? Wouldnít children brought up by such a father inevitably adopt such language as normal? Until they begin to heal, child alters are limited in their experience not only to what they had as children, but to only a portion of even that.

I felt sickened by this alterís early e-mails but not nearly as sickened as the Holy Lord must feel by the moral corruption of even the most ďinnocentĒ of us. Nevertheless, the final outcome of this e-mail exchange is heartwarming, encouraging and glorifying to God.

In order to save lives, medics and emergency workers attending car wrecks must expose themselves to ghastly sights and sounds that average people would try hard to avoid. This webpage is for people who, either through compassion or unavoidable circumstances, find themselves in a similar situation to those attending car wrecks, only in this instance the horrors are caused by sexual abuse.

Just as a surgeonís training must include exposure to blood and repulsive sights before he can be considered ready to operate alone, so adequate training to help abusive alters must include exposure to the unpleasant. If you cannot bear to read offensive remarks when they are not directed personally at you and when the personís well-being does not depend upon your response, thatís fine, but you are obviously not ready to minister to such alters.

The alter (who allowed me call him FF rather than the crude name he used for himself) had some evil ways, an atrocious attitude and bad habits, but none of these implied that he had a demon. Even feeling a strong need to sexually molest/rape others and his confusion over the morality of such behavior could have been the result of a human abuser and his reaction to that abuse. This is proved by the fact that as you read below you will see him transformed first by the divinely inspired unconditional love he received and then because of his spiritual encounter with Jesus. Only later was he delivered from the demon. It is not my desire to mess with anyoneís theology. I seek merely to record what happened.

Everyone encountering Dissociative Identity Disorder must be extremely cautious before concluding that a demon is involved. In theory, another of this dear womanís alters could have believed he was his abusive father and acted out that belief by forcing FF to sin. Mistaking an alter for a demon will cause immense harm because an alter cannot be cast out but can be so deeply wounded by being treated as a demon that the alter goes into deep hiding, thus preventing that important part of the person from healing.

Iím still learning, and I took a significant risk in concluding as quickly as I did that a demon was oppressing FF. I was strongly influenced by FF saying that this oppressive personality was inside of him but I think I should have been more cautious and questioned both FF and the demon to further confirm my suspicions. It was safe to declare to whatever was oppressing FF that FF belongs to Jesus and that Jesus is all-powerful. All alters need to know such things. To go further, however, and wrongly imply that an alter is a demon could easily cause that alter to believe the lie that he is beyond Jesusí help and can never change. This could be a huge setback. No matter how sincere the attempt to help, it would have resulted in great harm.

At first thought, the possibility of a demon sending an e-mail seems so bizarre as to be almost unbelievable. Letís look briefly at what the Bible reveals about demons, however. It is not hard to imagine demons moving a personís body in rudimental ways and the Bible confirms that this happens (examples) but Scripture goes way beyond that. It repeatedly cites instances of demons using someoneís tongue, mouth and vocal chords not merely to grunt or scream but to speak intelligently through people and even hold conversations with other people (biblical examples). To access and use someoneís intellect and fine motor skills so completely as to hold spoken conversations in that personís language with a third party requires no less ability than typing on a computer. Incidentally, for centuries certain occult practices have involved ďautomatic writing,Ē whereby demons use a personís hand to write messages.

I have kept track of dates for you. Exchanges started on February 20th, 2011. To make it even easier for you, Iíve called that Day 1. This will give you a clear understanding of the passage of time. The alter was able to contact me at any time but often chose not to, even though the host and her other alters wrote more frequently. For example, the alter met Jesus for the first time on Day 16 but had communicated with me on only nine of those days. A week later he was free from the demon, but wrote to me only three of those days.

The links cited in the text below are important but the webpage is already long, so if you prefer to read the links later, they are listed for your convenience at the end of the webpage. If you visit them while reading the body of the webpage, you can return to this webpage by clicking the back arrow near the top of your web browser.

Finally, let me introduce the participants. Although anyone in the Therapy Group could have contributed to exchanges, the vast majority chose not to. There is some color coding in this webpage and the colors chosen are used in the next few paragraphs in the description of the participants. So that you do not have to remember the colors, however, at the top of each message, the authorís name appears.

FF is the main alter featured. Later he changed his name but the same color is used because he is the same person, though totally transformed by Christ.

Anne is FFís host. The same color is used for the rare times that other alters of hers are quoted.

Iím Grantley. I own this website and have written many hundreds of major Christian-based webpages, all of which are available without charge. Anyone can emulate what I did in helping this alter. It simply takes devotion to Christ and the humility, compassion, patience, gentleness, kindness, faith and faithfulness that the Spirit gives. Obviously, experience is a huge help but reading my webpages will give you the benefit of that experience.

Other members of the group who wrote to FF are in this color. Christy is well advanced in her healing journey. She has over fifty alters. Jenny is a protector alter who was formed at age 22. Blessing and Friend are alters formed at age three. Christy used to be oppressed by demons and God taught Blessing spiritual warfare to such an extent that early on she used to protect even Jenny from demonic attack. Friend has an amazing ability to access memories stored by her sister alters and is often called up by other alters to help compile information.

Mary had a harsh mother. When she was young her father gave her the only tender kindness she knew but that attention was associated with sexual abuse. I think it was because her mother discovered his abuse that her father left them while Mary was still young. As a consequence, before the Lord used me to help them, Mary had some alters who hated sexual abuse but some who craved it. Megan is one of her alters who used to crave it.

Ian is a pastor. He does not have D.I.D. With the groupís permission Ė anyone could have vetoed it Ė he recently joined the group to learn more about how to minister to people with D.I.D.

Helen, too, does not have D.I.D. but has kindly and effectively acted as my ministry partner for many years. She is in the group solely to offer counseling support.

The demonís words appear in bold black.

This gray is used when citing part of the e-mail that is being replied to.

Now with the introductions out of the way, letís commence the actual exchanges, with just one last warning: the language and topics are offensive and quite likely to be triggering. If you are serious about healing, however, I believe the following is a powerful teaching tool.

* * *

Day 1

[From FF]

Hi Grantley, my name is *#!%@ Face. You can call me *#!%@ or FF. You probably donít know me but Anne told me I should talk to you. I donít know why you should care but she said I am scared. I am not scared of *#!%@ [anything]!! She wants to make us communicate better. Why should I want to communicate with her? She is a pansy *#!%@, push over. No way do I want to be like that!! I get what I want by taking it. If they donít like it, I *#!%@ [have sex with] them. And they like it!! I donít really care what Anne or anyone says, I know it is true. They like it, alright! Who does not like love anyway? I teach them all. But I donít care if they like *#!%@ [having sex] or not. Because my job is to *#!%@ [have sex with] them, so I do it. I like it, they like it and I am good at it. So why should I want to stop and communicate better with Anne? Because of her, life sucks. No way!!

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, My Friend!

Many thanks for writing.

You wrote:

Why should I want to communicate with her. She is a pansy *#!%@, push over.

Then why not help her want to change by discussing this with her? She shouldnít try to force herself on you. Neither should you force yourself on her but you can genuinely help each other by talking things over.

I like it, they like

Do you REALLY like it or do you just think you have no alternative? Do you really feel free to do whatever you want or do you feel you have little choice?

You deserve far better things than you realize. You deserve the best. You deserve to be respected and honored, not because you force yourself on people but because they really admire you. It will seem unbelievable to you right now, but this can really be yours. You are very important to God. He respects you and likes you. He wonít force anything on you but if you let him, he can change everything in your life that you donít like.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

Hi Grantley, I want to apologize for FFís post. He always says awful things. He was gone for a while but he came back. I am trying to give him unconditional love, which is why I suspect he went away for a bit in the first place, but I still struggle with this issue. But I am getting better at it. Honestly, I think he is scared to love but you wouldnít know from his post so thank you for your understanding and patience. I hurt for him and us all. Sad.

Take care,

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I want to apologize for FF post.

It is most important that you donít apologize. He needs to be respected, listened to and encouraged to speak.

I hurt for him and us all.

Excellent.

Day 2

[No messages]

Day 3

* * *

[From FF]

Hi, My Friend!

You do not get to be my friend. You donít know me!! And more importantly I donít know YOU!!!

Then why not help her want to change by discussing this with her? She shouldnít try to force herself on you. Neither should you force yourself on her but you can genuinely help each other by talking things over.

I am all about force. That is what I do. I donít talk, I *#!%@ [have sex]!!

Do you REALLY like it or do you just think you have no alternative? Do you really feel free to do whatever you want or do you feel you have little choice?

You donít seem to understand. This isnít about choice. *#!%@ [Having sex] is my desire. It gives me power, it feels good, it gives them love, it keeps those monkey brats shut the *#!%@ up, and they like *#!%@ [having sex]. They like me inside of them.

The father taught me they all need love. He *#!%@ [had sex with] me too. Now the sick *#!%@ lives inside of me. He got there when he *#!%@ [had sex with] me!! I feel him and I hear him talking to me. I simply pass on the favor!!

Anne is the only stupid *#!%@, dumber than rocks, moron, I just want to kill this stupid broad, who tries to *#!%@ up the plan. She doesnít want me *#!%@ [having sex]. She wants us to communicate better. Stupid bitch doesnít seem to *#!%@ understand that it is much more effective, and pleasurable, than being dead. That sick *#!%@ has no shyness about killing those brat *#!%@ kids. No, I havenít had this conversation with her yet because she *#!%@ me off too much. I hate the whole bitch!!

You are one of those *#!%@ canít think for yourself God loving people, too, huh? *#!%@ . . . youíre so full of *#!%@!! You got me confused with someone else. Forget it. I donít know why I bother. You donít understand nothing!! They do not admire me. They are afraid of me and that is how it is supposed to be. I *#!%@ [have sex with] em, I loved em, I kept them alive. That is my job! Whatís not to get here!! O *#!%@ it! I donít want to tell some God-loving creep any more about us. The *#!%@ father will kill us if he knew and youíre not worth the risk but thanks for the chat!

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

You do not get to be my friend. You donít know me!! And more importantly I donít know YOU!!!

I apologize for not explaining myself better. It is always entirely your decision as to who you regard as your friend and I utterly respect that. Likewise, it is up to me who I regard as a friend and I happen to regard you that way, no matter how you treat people. The reality is that you have suffered greatly. No one can become an alter without having suffered unfairly. That breaks my heart and because of that, you will always have a special place in my heart, no matter how you treat me. Iíll be sad if you choose to hate me but no matter what, I care about you.

I am all about force. That is what I do. I donít talk I *#!%@ [have sex]!!

Yes, you have acted that way but you are not enslaved to ALWAYS acting like that. With Godís help you are free to be different, if ever you choose.

*#!%@ [Having sex] is my desire. It gives me power, it feels good.

Did you know there are other ways to feel empowered and feel good and that those ways are more satisfying?

It gives them love

Love has nothing to do with illegitimate sex. Love is about kindness.

It keeps those monkey brats shut the *#!%@ up, and they like *#!%@ [having sex]. They like me inside of them.

Just out of interest, suppose they said they didnít like it. Would you stop? Or are you determined to do it regardless of whether they like it or not?

The father taught me they all need love.

He was greatly mistaken. He was selfish and cruel. He broke the law by what he did to you and the others. What he did was so wrong that he would have been jailed for very many years had authorities known.

Now the sick *#!%@ lives inside of me. He got there when he *#!%@ [had sex with] me!! I feel him and I hear him talking to me.

Thatís extremely interesting. Even if it feels exactly as if it is happening, it is literally impossible for anyone to live inside of you. It is either a demon Ė and they are nothing to be afraid of (you can easily get rid of them if you ask Jesus) Ė or it is some trick that your father played on you. Either way you can break free from that.

Stupid bitch doesnít seem to *#!%@ understand that it is much more effective, and pleasurable, than being dead.

Neither Anne nor I, nor God want you dead. You can enjoy life without doing what you are doing.

That sick *#!%@ has no shyness about killing those brat *#!%@ kids.

Interesting. Could you explain what you mean by that? Do you feel that Anne has in some way killed any alters? It is most important that she not do that. Please tell me more.

They do not admire me. They are afraid of me

Yes, but you can change and then you will be admired.

I kept them alive.

Could you explain what you mean by that?

{I now realize that I had misunderstood FF. He was saying that ďthe fatherĒ would kill the alters if FF didnít have sex with them.}

Thanks for the chat!

And thank you. It has been extremely interesting. I really enjoy getting to know you.

* * *

[From Anne]

He had to go and speak his mind, Grantley. I didnít try to stop him. If you want to kick us off the group, I understand!! FF is horrible, Grantley. Loving him doesnít come easy. I make a lot of mistakes with it!!! DAMN! I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

He had to go and speak his mind, Grantley.

It is most important that he does. This is critical to your healing.

Loving him doesnít come easy.

But doing so is a key to your healing.

I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

But it will work out well.

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, Anne!

I think your alter is wonderful!

He/she said many fascinating things, including the following:

That sick *#!%@ [is that a reference to you?] has no shyness about killing those brat *#!%@ kids.

the *#!%@ father will kill us if he knew

Those two statements seem very important to understanding this dear alter. Could you please tell me your understanding of them?

Bless you!

Day 4

* * *

[From Anne]

That sick *#!%@ [is that a reference to you?] has no shyness about killing those brat *#!%@ kids.

I donít hurt them on purpose

I donít know the father, Grantley. I never met him. I donít even know his name. Iím sorry that I donít have more answers.

This whole thing makes me really really deeply sad. I wish I could just sit and cry. Deep sigh . . .

I can only ask FF but I canít do it right now. He is extra challenging for me. So if I ask FF, he may or may not tell me but he will come out and either take part control or all control. I donít really want him to come out today. I finally had a good day where my worst problem was not being able to focus and having a headache. I will ask him your questions soon.

I want to say thanks for your help but your help hurts so it is hard to really be thankful Ė but as much as thankfulness as I can be THANKS, GRANTLEY

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I donít hurt them on purpose

Iím sure you donít. It would be good to talk to FF about this, however, and apologize if needed.

I donít know the father

Then he is not the father of your body, but someone who gave himself that title?

He is extra challenging for me.

I very much understand this. And will do my best to do what you are currently unable to do with FF.

I will ask him your questions soon.

There is no need. I have asked him. I just thought you might be able to add some insights but apparently not. I have so little background information.

Your help hurts

Only temporarily.

Day 5

* * *

[From FF]

You wrote:

That breaks my heart and because of that, you will always have a special place in my heart, no matter how you treat me. Iíll be sad if you choose to hate me but no matter what, I care about you.

I donít want you cares. Iím not scared of becoming an alter, and *#!%@ the special place in your heart, shouldnít that be for your girlfriend? I am not your friend, and I donít *#!%@ [have sex with] guys, at least not willingly, so save the *#!%@ speech.

Yes, you have acted that way but you are not enslaved to ALWAYS acting like that. With Godís help you are free to be different, if ever you choose.

Did you know there are other ways to feel empowered and feel good and that those ways are more satisfying?

You donít get it. *#!%@ [Having sex] is the only thing I enjoy doing. It is my drive. I am nothing without it. This is what I do. I know nothing else and I donít want to know anything else. Get it?!!

Love has nothing to do with illegitimate sex. Love is about kindness.

Okay then!! Freak.

Just out of interest, suppose they said they didnít like it. Would you stop? Or are you determined to do it regardless of whether they like it or not?

Do you really think I would stop . . . *#!%@ you . . . have you ever *#!%@ [had sex] before? It doesnít matter what they say . . . they like it . . . I feel them like it too.

He was greatly mistaken. He was selfish and cruel. He broke the law by what he did to you and the others. What he did was so wrong that he would have been jailed for very many years had authorities known.

Obviously you need to go *#!%@ [have sex with] your mother!! She is slacking on loving you.

Thatís extremely interesting. Even if it feels exactly as if it is happening, it is literally impossible for anyone to live inside of you. It is either a demon Ė and they are nothing to be afraid of (you can easily get rid of them if you ask Jesus) Ė or it is some trick that your father played on you. Either way you can break free from that.

I might be a self centered *#!%@ who likes *#!%@ [having sex] but I am not a demon, the father would never trick me, and I donít want nothing to do with Jesus.

What the *#!%@ do you know? The sick *#!%@ got inside of me when he *#!%@ [had sex with] me. I felt him. He talks to me all of the time. I hate when he talks to meÖ I want to kill the *#!%@. He is a mean *#!%@ *#!%@ who deserves burn in hell but does not need to get laid. I might be an *#!%@ *#!%@ but I am not a demon, calm down buddy, the father would never trick me, and I donít want nothing to do with your Jesus. I am not one of those God loving fools.

Neither Anne nor I, nor God want you dead. You can enjoy life without doing what you are doing.

What? Who said anything about me being dead? The drinking, crack smoking, shooting flies with a gun, country hick *#!%@, will kill those brat *#!%@ if they get in the way and they are too *#!%@ stupid to shut the *#!%@ up. I *#!%@ [have sex with them], they shut the *#!%@ up. What a deal, huh.

Interesting. Could you explain what you mean by that? Do you feel that Anne has in some way killed any alters? It is most important that she not do that. Please tell me more.

Lay off the crack dude . . . I donít know what youíre talking about . . .

Yes, but you can change and then you will be admired.

I donít know what the *#!%@ you are smoking but go your mother, then your girlfriend, it might help you feel better . . . I donít want them to admire me. I want them to be afraid of me. Fear is a powerful tool to keep those brat *#!%@ in line. Havenít you even been around kids?

You can do me one favor . . . lose my contact information . . . lose Anneís contact information. We do not want to talk to you. We think there is something wrong with you. I donít really want to improve communication with Anne. She is a hopeless and I would rather *#!%@ [have sex with] her but I gave it a try . . .

Peace

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, FF!

Because you are so important to me, I will be completely open with you and give you much more time than I can afford to give other people.

You deserve good, loyal friends who think well of you. Even if you despise me at present I would count it a great privilege if you ever let me be your friend.

I am very pleased that you have written, even though almost every word you wrote felt like a punch to my stomach. It hurts to know how much the father and this thing inside you has hurt and tricked you. If you are hoping to hurt me, you are doing well, but I want you to speak freely and I will accept no apologies from Anne or anyone else. I want you to have a voice and speak your mind freely. I know so little about you at present and so I apologize that my guesses about you and your circumstances will sometimes be wrong but I am keen to get up to speed. I want to know and understand you thoroughly.

You might have misunderstood me and if I contributed to that misunderstanding, I apologize. I know you are fully human and that you are most definitely NOT a demon. It was this thing inside of you that feels like the father that I said could be a demon Ė a spirit Ė because no physical person could fit inside you. This thing is not you and does not belong in you. You can be completely free from it but it is too powerful for you or me to remove without the help of Jesus, who is supernaturally powerful and cares deeply for you.

I do not know who ďthe fatherĒ is that you refer to but he has clearly had a huge impact upon you and so I would love for you to tell me more about him. I believe he hurt you deeply Ė more deeply than you realize. You say he would not lie to you but it is unrealistic to expect anyone as evil as him to be truthful.

You wrote:

You donít get it. *#!%@ [Having sex] is the only thing I enjoy doing. It is my drive. I am nothing without it.

I have good news for you. You can be everything without it. You have yet to discover how wonderful you can be. There is so much more to life than you have so far discovered.

Do you really think I would stop?

You are not interested in love and doing what helps people? Is it that you just want to get what feels good to you regardless of how much it hurts others? I find it hard to believe that deep down you really want to act that way. I think you care about people more than you are willing to admit to yourself.

I want to kill the *#!%@.

You can be rid of him. Only Jesus is powerful enough to do it, but he is keen to help if you let him.

With warm regards,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

I have been a complete mess with FF memories and/or new alters. But thank you for your concerns.

Grantley, I appreciate your concern. I am not so sure FF knows how to not be so hurtful. I know you donít want to hear apologize but I wish things were different.

I never knew the father, and I donít want to start now, but I do know FF saved my life. I am grateful but this is a horrible way to have to get to know your life, HORRIBLE!! I donít want it to be mine. My heart hurt deeply. My head wants to explode.

Right now, FF will not communicate with me or the group so I donít know what to say. I have a strange feeling he is deeply hurt with bad memories and trying to hide from them. However, I cannot be sure that the pain I feel inside of me or the bad memories/visions that I see belong to him or a new alter because whoever they belong to will not tell their name. So this is only a strong suspicion.

In either case, out of in respect for him, I need to just give it time to tell. When and if ever, the time is right to say more, we will communicate with the group.

For now, just know that if my head doesnít explode or my heart break from knife like stab wounds, the healing process is working, so thank you.

Until we meet again,

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I never knew the father, and I donít want to start now

I understand your reluctance but the father will win unless you face these memories.

but I do know FF saved my life. I am grateful

Please ensure FF knows you appreciate this.

but this is a horrible way to have to get to know your life, HORRIBE!!

It is horrible but because it is horrible you need to heal from it and the only way to do this is the face the truth.

I have a strange feeling he is deeply hurt with bad memories and trying to hide from them.

Quite likely, and you need to help him bear this pain by facing it, but you donít have to do this alone. Bring Jesus with you and let him bear it.

In either case, out of in respect for him

Thank you for respecting him.

For now, just know that if my head doesnít explode or my heart break from knife like stab wounds

Keep involving Jesus in this. He longs to help.

Bless you!

Day 6

[No messages]

Day 7

* * *

[From FF]

What do you want from me Grantley!!!! I donít get it. Why donít you go away!! Do you know most people are scared of me, why arenít you?? *#!%@ me, my heart hurt!!

I told you before I donít want Jesus but I want this *#!%@ *#!%@ out of my head. I want to kill the *#!%@ father dead. He hate me and I hate the *#!%@ right back. The stupid *#!%@ *#!%@!! I want him out of my head.

Jesus is supernatural? That canít be good!! I donít mess with drugs or evil spirits so he canít help me!!

Would you believe me if I said I didnít try to hurt you? Well itís true, whether you believe it or not is up to you. *#!%@ me.

I donít make friends. I *#!%@ [have sex with] them. I donít want friends. What I want to know is what do you want from me?? I told you already I donít *#!%@ [have sex with] guys. Why be friends with someone who doesnít want it? Most people are afraid of me. What the *#!%@ is wrong with you? Whatever. I have to go.

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

So good to hear from you again!

You wrote:

What do you want from me Grantley!!!!

Itís not what I want FROM you but what I want FOR you. I believe you are hurting inside and feeling forced to do some things that you donít want to do. I want you free to do what YOU truly want to do without any pressure from anyone or anything else and I want you free from any internal pain.

Do you know most people are scared of me, why arenít you??

The Bible says that love casts our fear and I love you in the caring, non-sexual, selfless way that God loves you.

I told you before I donít want Jesus but I want this *#!%@ *#!%@ out of my head.

I want it out of your head, too. But this is not an ordinary thing that is tormenting you. To get it out we need the help of someone with superhuman powers. Jesus has that power. No one else does.

I want to kill the *#!%@ father dead. He hate me and I hate the *#!%@ right back. The stupid *#!%@ *#!%@!! I want him out of my head.

I understand how you feel. You need to be free from this.

Jesus is supernatural. That canít be good!! I donít mess with drugs or evil spirits so he canít help me!!

Jesus is safe. Even though he has incredible power, he never abuses that power. He is kind and gentle and patient. He longs to help you but he is not an abuser who does things without peopleís permission. He is patiently waiting for you to give him permission to help and he will not act until he receives your full permission. Iím glad you donít mess with drugs. As far as evil spirits are concerned, I believe you but I think the father messed with evil spirits and he put one in you against you will to control you (evil does not operate by the same rules that Jesus does). This happened to a dear friend of mine and to other people. It wasnít their fault but they needed that thing out of their lives. And Jesus did it for them when they asked.

Would you believe me if I said I didnít try to hurt you.

Thank you, FF. I believe you.

What I want to know is what do you want from me??

I only want you to be free and happy and for you to do whatever you want.

Why be friends with someone who doesnít want it?

I think you are lonely and need a good friend who only cares about your happiness and in no way wants to use you.

Your want-to-be friend,

Grantley

Day 8

[No messages]

Day 9

* * *

[From FF]

So today I thought I would venture out, be independent and give this Jesus thing a try. But as it got closer to time, I got more and more scared. Anne and I donít talk much. I hate girls. The father says they are all whores who *#!%@ [have sex with] you and steal your money. Anyway, Anne said I should stay back in a safe quiet place and listen so I can see if Jesus is safe for me. I didnít want to listen to the whore but she kept bugging me to go. Telling me how it will be fine . . . I can sit back in a safe place . . . Blah blah blah.

I was terrified to try. Just so you know, I never get scared. I have only been scared one other time. That was the first time the father *#!%@ [had sex with] me. I still remember it. It was the most violent night of my life. The father came into my room while I was sleeping. Without saying a word, he came to my bed, reached down, and grabbed me. With agonizing force, he turned me over, ripped off my pajama pants and *#!%@ [had sex with] me hard in the *#!%@. It hurt like a *#!%@. It hurt so bad. The violence that night was beyond words. Besides the pain, I was out of my head scared but I never had time to defend myself because he came in out of no where, and he didnít waste no time *#!%@ [having sex with] me straight away!! I still have never seen such horror but since then I donít get scared.

But today I was really scared. This was different because I had time to be scared. The closer it got to time, the more scared I got. Then the whole time I was there, I keep waiting for the same fear as the first time the father taught me about *#!%@ [having sex] and love. Honestly, I was more scared of what pain would follow the fear. I stayed for a 5 minutes which was as long as I could stand because my head felt like it was going to literally explode. Not to mention the fact that my heart ached with an unexplainable pain and stomach hurt like some *#!%@ kicked me. *#!%@ me Grantley you never told me love hurts!!

I need you to realize I do not like other guys. I am 16 years old but I will never live past 30 because all I know how to do is *#!%@ [have sex with] people. One day some poor *#!%@ is going to kill me the same as I want to kill the father. I want the *#!%@ *#!%@ out of my head but this isnít worth the cost. *#!%@ it!! I donít want love!! *#!%@ [Having sex] doesnít hurt and I like it. It feels good. You are wrong about it. You just never had right!

I like talking to you. I like talking to God too. Today I was so scared that I talked to God. I had no idea what I was doing but I figured what the *#!%@ could it hurt because seriously I donít think it is possible to get any more scared so I took a risk and asked God please do not let them hurt me today. Anyway, I like talking to you because I have never met someone not afraid of me, and I have never had such long conversations before. But *#!%@ me, I donít want friends.

And it doesnít help that the father gets violently *#!%@, crazy, scary, mad about Jesus. He says his spirit will *#!%@ us up. He hates Jesus this is no joke. He is serious too!!!

Well I have to listen to the father because, aside from the fact that he is in my *#!%@ head, I have known him my whole life. But I have only known you for about, I dunno 6 minutes. So who do you think has had more influence on my life? Hint, not you!! Well what I am trying to say here is you need to *#!%@ and find another friend. In other words I canít change me, so *#!%@!!

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley] You wrote:

So today I thought I would venture out, be independent

Well done!

and give this Jesus thing a try.

Excellent!

but as it got closer to time, I got more and more scared.

Something that is so true that I find myself frequently telling people with DID is that healing takes a lot of courage.

The father says they are all whores who *#!%@ [have sex with] you and steal your money.

But the father was a man filled with hate. Most likely had had a couple of bad experiences with women and wasnít smart enough to realize woman differ from each other, just like not all men are the same.

Anyway, Anne said I should stay back in a safe quiet place and listen so I can see if Jesus is safe for me.

Jesus is indeed safe and because he is safe is very kind and patient. He wonít force himself upon you and will even agree to any restrictions you place upon him as to how close you will let him come. So Jesus is quite happy with Anneís suggestion.

I was terrified to try. Just so you know, I never get scared.

So there is something very peculiar about this fear, right? My guess is that what is peculiar about it is that fear does not come from you at all but from the thing inside you Ė which I believe is a bad spirit. It is scared of Jesus because it wants to keep you enslaved.

I have only been scared one other time. That was the first time the father *#!%@ [had sex with] me. I still remember it. it was the most violent night of my life.

My heart breaks for you. The father lied to you when he said that people like this. No one likes it when it is done against their wishes. It breaks Godís heart and his laws and is a criminal offense. Thank you for sharing the details of what you suffered. You donít deserve to have to suffer in silence. The father deserves very many years in jail for hurting you the way he did.

The violence that night was beyond words.

Yes.

I never had time to defend myself because he came in out of no where

Yes, and I presume you were too young to be able to stand up to him anyhow. You now live in an older body and that makes you much safer. I presume that you also no longer live with the father, which further adds to your safety.

You never told me love hurts!!

It doesnít. What you were experiencing was pain put on you by this thing that does not belong inside you. It wants to keep you enslaved and it knows that Jesus is able to set you free.

all I know how to do is *#!%@ [have sex with] people.

This can completely change. Jesus wants to set you free.

I want the *#!%@ *#!%@ out of my head but this isnít worth the cost.

It is very much worth the cost. What makes that hard to believe is that you have not yet experienced the wonderful things you get after the paying the price. You will have the comfort and strength of Jesus. The pain and the fear will go.

I like talking to you.

That warms my heart because I like talking to you, too. In fact, I got up early (different time zone here) just to see if you had written and of all the e-mails screaming for my attention your e-mail is the one I zeroed in on.

I like talking to God too. Today I was so scared that I talked to God.

Wonderful! Well done!

And it doesnít help that the father gets violently *#!%@, crazy, scary, mad about Jesus.

That should tell you some very significant things. The man who hurt you so much is violently opposed to Jesus. To be free from the father and from what he put inside you, you need someone very different to the father.

Well I have to listen to the father

When you let Jesus help you, you will be free to live your own life and make your own decisions.

I have known him my whole life. But I have only known you for about, I dunno 6 minutes.

True, but he hurt you and lied to you and wants to keep you enslaved.

So who do you think has had more influence on my life?

Yes, but you can break free and start a new and better life.

I believe in you. I understand your concerns. There is no pressure from me. I still long to be your friend.

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

I would have written sooner but I saw FF post. The pain of it all just kills me. What a rough life. Plus, I really wish this all didnít have to be posted for everyone to see but it seems to be the only way because FF and I struggle to communicate.

I had a powerful experience at church yesterday that I want to share. Honestly, it makes me shake to tell you all about this because I donít want you all to think I just made it up but something tells me, this is important to step forward out of my fear and share. There is light in Anne land so I will tell anyone who wants to hear about it.

As of late, I have been having trouble with the worship. So yesterday, I wasnít myself at the service. I felt deep pain for FF. I felt like I failed my goal to show FF about God. His situation is a true heartbreak to me. So the whole service I enjoyed being with God because he is my only rest but I donít think I opened my mouth to talk to God or sing the whole service. Instead, I closed my eyes, lifting my hands, and allowing the Holy Ghost to work in me, but I didnít want to communicate otherwise. I was too overwhelmed with a deep sadness for FF and anger for my life. I just didnít have anything more in me.

Regardless of my failures, I felt much better about my relationship with God. He touched my life in a powerful powerful way.

Peace to you all,

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, FF!

How are you my friend? Iíve been missing you, FF. Iíd love to hear from you. You are important to God and to us.

Days 10-12

[No messages]

Day 13

* * *

[From FF]

I am not good Grantley. I think the sick *#!%@ donít want me to talk to you because it hurts my stomach to talk to you, *#!%@ me huh!!

I cannot change, and I wish you could understand. I almost want things to go back to the way they were before I knew you... I canít talk any more. I have to go now

Bye

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I am not good Grantley. I think the sick *#!%@ donít want me to talk to you because it hurts my stomach to talk to you

Iím so sorry, my friend. You can break free, however, even though you donít realize it.

I cannot change, and I wish you could understand.

There are some things about you that I donít know yet, but I understand more than you realize.

The thing that is trying to possess you is stronger than you but he is weak compared with Jesus. And Jesus wants to be your friend and with Jesus as your friend you can be free.

Day 14

* * *

[From FF]

I donít know what you think that you know about me Grantley but you donít know me!!! No one knows me, Anne included, and I want to keep it that way too!!

I HATE MY LIFE!! I want to kill the *#!%@ father. He *#!%@ my life. I know he did. I donít even know where I live, let alone the *#!%@ *#!%@. This is not my house. I really want to kill the *#!%@ *#!%@.

You will probably laugh but I donít want to be like the father. I hope you believe me. It is true, I promise.

If Jesus is so great why was the father the only one who taught me about growing up, Grantley? Jesus wonít even talk to me. Maybe he doesnít like bad people.

I was too scared to go and meet Jesus again. The place made me crazy scared. You have no idea. I will think about going again but I am not brave. I wasnít made to be brave!

If I go and pretend to be brave. Can you do me a favor? Maybe if you want you can help me change my name so people donít think that is all I know how to do is *#!%@ [have sex]. Even if it is mostly true, I am learning new things. Maybe I will tell you later. Gotta go

bye

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I donít know what you think that you know about me, Grantley but you donít know me!!!

As I said, Iíd love to know you much better. Itís not so much what I know about you but the fact that I know so many who have been like you that have now found joy and freedom and I know that you can find it, too.

I HATE MY LIFE!! I want to kill the *#!%@ father. He *#!%@ my life. I know he did.

Yes, he did. The way to get back at him is to become someone very unlike him and not be dominated by what he did to you. This is the empowering and freedom that Jesus offers you.

I donít even know where I life, let along the *#!%@ *#!%@. This is not my house.

Things have moved on a lot since the father hurt you. Many years have passed. The father might even be dead, I donít know. Do you know that the year is 2011? The memories are so real that they seem like only yesterday and the presence of the father seems so real because of either a trick of his or a demon he put in you, but you really are free from him.

You will probably laugh but I donít want to be like the father.

No, Iím not laughing, dear friend. It makes me proud of you.

I hope you believe me. It is true, I promise.

I believe you completely. I have never thought you have ever lied to me.

If Jesus is so great why was the father the only one who taught me about growing up, Grantley.

You suffered such trauma from what the father did that you split into many parts. Some of those parts know Jesus well. Sadly you did not get a chance to get to know him but he longs for you to let him be your friend. He is not an abuser, so he wonít force his friendship on you but he is patiently waiting for you. You mean so much to him.

Jesus wonít even talk to me.

Give him a chance. Youíll be surprised!

Maybe he doesnít like bad people.

He loves bad people so much that he took all their badness and pain upon himself and let himself be punished horrifically for the sins they deserve so that the Holy Lord could treat them as being totally innocent.

I was too scared to go and meet Jesus again.

Iím so sorry you were scared but that fear was not from Jesus. He doesnít want you to fear him.

I will think about going again

Excellent! You can tell all the things that make you scared to go away in Jesusí name. You donít have to let them enslave you. Please read a webpage based on the experience of one of Christyís alters: Susan has a Secret.

Maybe if you want you can help me change my name so people donít think that is all I know how to do is *#!%@ [have sex].

I think thatís a great idea. Ian [a member of the group] Ė and Iím sure the rest in the group feel the same way Ė believe you are worthy of a new name. He suggested the name of Honesty. What do you think?

You are worthy of a great name. My suggestion is the name of a boy that I know. His name is Innocent. That describes how God sees you when you ask Jesus to forgive you.

I am learning new things. Maybe I will tell you later.

Wonderful!

With warm thoughts,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

I think you might be right about the demon thing. And I donít think this is the first time something like this happen has happened to us. The mean hurt us all for years and I nor anyone else, knew how to get him to stop. No matter what, he always came back. He started out acting like a friend but the harder that I tried to get rid of him, the meaner and cleverer he got in his cause. He was RELENTLESS in the worst kind of way!! So I could never despite my best effort got him to leave us alone.

He waited until I sick, really tired, or really stressed so I was too weak to fight him off, or he tricked me to believe they like it or it was good for them. It sounds funny he could make me believe him, but he knew exactly what to say in a strange kind of way to get his way. When none of those methods worked, and I finally felt some success at holding him back, someone else would forcefully take over so I lost control and I couldnít stop him. The worst part was that I knew what he was doing but I couldnít get control back to stop it. Then the kids would be mad at me for not stopping him but I couldnít stop him.

He mainly hurt the kids who are three in one. They are I would guess 2ish or less and also named Anne too. A long time ago, I saw them in my dreams. They do not talk, they are ghostly white, and they look strangely like me. I never knew the man in my life but other alters have told him his name is Paul. Finally one day, I was able to get Jesus involved and it worked. What a whole new world the freedom opened up for us all.

I want to be able to help FF but he will not talk to me. The mean man talked to me. it is hard to be much help when I cannot communicate with him. And I am not sure why he wonít talk to me. I am not mean to him. I try really hard to be patience. Can you help me be able to talk to him Grantley? Thanks for your help with FF.

God Bless,

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I think you might be right about the demon thing.

Have a look at Imaginary Friends and links. It is the experience of a member of our group. Her name is changed. There are obvious differences with what is happening with FF but there might be enough similarities for it to help a little. It is important not to mistake an alter for a demon but when it is something WITHIN an alter making him do what he does not what to do, it could very well be a demon. Some abusers have an awareness of demons and knowingly place demons within alters to better control them. It can also happen without the abuserís awareness but simply because demons are controlling the abuser. Demons are all bluff. They have no power over Christians but they use feelings such as fear and much deceit. They can also make a person unable to think clearly so that their weak arguments and threats seem believable.

Day 15

* * *

[From Anne]

I read your web site, The Comfort Imaginary Friends and Masturbation

Brought to a Sexual Abuse Survivor Wow this story is painfully painfully similar to the mean man.

Like Christine, it rocked my world when I could finally get free of him. I used to feel like such a failure, depressed, worthless... when I couldnít get rid of him. And I felt pleasure from sex.

But in the end, getting rid of him was worth all the trouble and more. It truly opened my world to a whole new way of life, just as it did in this story. It not only opened my world but it caused many many alters to come out of hiding. I never knew there were so many kids, and how bad he hurt them until he was gone. So, I am very grateful that I read this.

FF is a little different because he is an alter. The mean man wasnít an alter, and I never really saw the differences until I read your story. The mean man existed solely and relentlessly for sex. He wanted it. he wanted it REALLY REALLY bad. And he could not in any way be deterred. From what little I know, FF is not like that but it is hard to be able to help much when he doesnít communicate with me so I hope we can change this.

Thanks for the message, Grantley

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I read your web site, The Comfort Imaginary Friends and Masturbation Brought to a Sexual Abuse Survivor Wow this story is painfully painfully similar to the mean man. . . . So, I am very grateful that I read this.

Great!

FF is a little different because he is an alter.

He is totally different. HOWEVER, it seems he has someone similar to the mean man keeping him from being free to be the good person he longs to be and to get to know Jesus. I suggest you try to communicate with FF about the mean man and how you won over him etc. This should encourage him a lot.

He doesnít communicate with me

If nothing else, you could e-mail him through the group.

Bless you!

* * *

[From FF]

I donít know why you want to know me better. *#!%@ me I am so confused about this world. I am stuck in the wrong world. I donít think I belong here. Maybe I belong dead like the father.

The way to get back at him is to become someone very unlike him and not be dominated by what he did to you. This is the empowering and freedom that Jesus offers you.

I am not stupid Grantley. That is not revenge!!

Things have moved on a lot since the father hurt you. Many years have passed. The father might even be dead, I donít know. Do you know that the year is 2011? The memories are so real that they seem like only yesterday and the presence of the father seems so real because of either a trick of his or a demon he put in you, but you really are free from him.

Are you trying to trick me!! The father warned me that you would turn out mean and evil. Why didnít I grow up.

I believe you completely. I have never thought you have ever lied to me.

Thank you for believing me. The father never believed me. He always told me I was thinking the same as him. He got mad if I thought differently. This hurts me so much it makes me want to cry. Boys canít cry or they will turn into pussy *#!%@. Please do not trick me about this. *#!%@ it! I donít want to talk about it! I am not scared. Only Jesus makes me scared but I will get over it.

I donít know what you mean about parts exactly. I think what you mean but maybe you are *#!%@ crazy too.

I like the name Honest. Can you tell me how I can change my name?

I am going to try to meet Jesus if I am not too scared. I hope he is more like you than the father. *#!%@ it! I will be brave. Do you think I can tell them Jesus said *#!%@ because ďin Jesusí nameĒ sounds funny to me.

Bye Grantley

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

One last thing, Grantley, why do you want to be friends with me? You never tell me seriously your answer. Are you like Jesus? I donít know why you talk to me and how you know so much stuff. And why are you nice? It hurts me to be nice. I donít think I like it. I have to go now

Bye again

*#!%@ [FFís foul name] Me

* * *

[From Grantley]

Subject: To Honest (formerly FF)

You wrote:

I donít know why you want to know me better.

Because I like you and you are highly important to God and to Anne.

I am so confused about this world.

Yes, it is very confusing but things will become increasingly clear for you and the confusion will go.

I am stuck in the wrong world.

Things have changed very much since you were formed but this is good news. It is a much safer, kinder, gentler world than the one you knew.

maybe I belong dead like the father.

Definitely not. You deserve to truly live, enjoying life to the full.

I am not stupid Grantley, that is not revenge!!

At first thought it might not seem like revenge but it really is. To act the exact opposite to the father is to ensure that he completely loses. He wanted you to become like him. To act hateful is to become like him. It is, in effect, saying that he was right to act the way that he did and that you think he is so right that you will copy him. As they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery I.e. to copy someone and act like them is the greatest compliment you can give someone.

Are you trying to trick me!!

What do you see as a possible trick? Me saying that the year is 2011? If you doubt this, look around. Perhaps you can find a calendar or diary or newspaper or magazine. The computer and e-mails have the date on them, too.

The father warned me that you would turn out mean and evil. Why didnít I grow up.

I donít think anyone could be WORSE than the father. I am trustworthy but Iím not asking you to trust ME. I am just asking you to trust God and I am asking you to find the freedom you deserve. I live the opposite side of the world to you and have never visited your country and I have no idea of your address. I canít hurt you. All I want is for you to be no longer tricked by the fatherís lies.

The father never believed me.

This is one of very many reasons why what he said cannot be trusted.

He always told I was thinking the same as him.

Thatís because he wanted you to think like him. Thatís why acting like him Ė hateful, wanting to sexually exploit people etc, would be letting him win.

He got mad if I thought differently.

He is no longer around to enforce his wishes on you. You are free to be yourself.

It makes me want to cry.

Iím not asking you to cry but it is safe to cry. It wonít make you weak. Some of the strongest men in the world cry. For example, here is a quote from my webpage Real Christians Grieve

Without ever intending to, vast numbers of caring, Bible-loving Christians have slipped from the Bibleís view of grief. They suppose they should be more lion-hearted than David the giant-killer, the man after Godís own heart who, upon finding Ziklag burnt and his family taken captive, wept aloud until there was no strength left in him, before heroically seizing back from the enemy everything that had been stolen (1 Samuel 30:3-19). There are Christians who think they should be less human than Jesus, who often wept.

Have a quick look at my webpage Men Crying in the Bible to see the vast number of times the Bible mentions men crying.

Do you have too many girl friends?

Iím not sure what you mean. I am married. I relate to no one else sexually or romantically.

but I like the name Honest.

Great!

Can you tell me how I can change my name?

Itís easy. From now on call yourself Honest and thatís the name everyone else will call you by.

I am going to try to meet Jesus if I am not too scared.

Well done! You are brave and Jesus will make you even braver.

I hope he is more like you than the father.

VERY much so.

Do you think I can tell them Jesus said *#!%@ because ďin Jesusí nameĒ sounds funny to me.

Yes, that would work fine, although Jesus prefers not to use that word. Tell them Jesus said you must leave Ė or something like that. They wonít like it one bit. Theyíll try to bluff you and act as if they wonít leave but when they know you are serious they will get increasingly afraid of you (even though they will hide their fear) and they will end up having to leave.

Are you like Jesus?

Iím a little like Jesus but he is far better than me. For example, he cares so much for you that he was tortured in your place and in mine. Iíve never done that for anyone. Jesus can be with you 24/7. I canít. Jesus is perfect. He never makes mistakes and he knows everything about you. Iím not like that.

Day 16

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

I did it Grantley! I went to meet Jesus. Woo whooo! I know you would be proud!! Anne told me to stay in my safe spot and sleep for a little but until she told me it was the right time that I can come out. And she made it double safe so the *#!%@ father could not get in. I didnít understand what they were saying mostly at church but they said God is love so now I just make sure I know what love means. I think it means a good thing. Okay I have to go now because the father is nearby and I donít want him to know about Jesus. Thanks for being my friend Grantley. I like you friends sometimes.

Bye

*#!%@ [FFís foul name]

* * *

[From Grantley]

I did it Grantley! I went to meet Jesus. Woo whooo!

Wow!!!! Fantastic!! Iím over the moon

I know you would be proud!!

I am indeed!!! Well done!!!

Anne told me to stay in my safe spot and sleep for a little but until she told me it was the right time that I can come out. And she made it double safe so the *#!%@ father could not get in.

Great!

I didnít understand what they were saying mostly at church but they said God is love so now I just make sure I know what love means. I think it means a good thing.

Yes, love is a very good thing. Love means being kind and gentle and wanting to help people and make them happy. It means feeling sorry for people if they feel sad and being happy for them when they are happy. It means being unselfish and wanting the best for a person.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

Hi, Ian. Thanks for the name. It makes me happy. I love it. It makes me happy. Honest :) Honest Honest Honest Honest Honest hee hee Honest Yep, I like it.

Bye

Honest

* * *

[From Ian]

Hi Honest,

Iím glad you like the name Honest.

I hadnít written earlier because I want to be your friend too, and sometimes the best thing a friend can do is to just sit back and just listen. I wanted to see what you and Grantley had to say. I suggested a good name for you could be ďHonestĒ because thatís one characteristic I see in you that I really like Ė youíre honest. You say it like it is, and I really appreciate that in a person.

I know itís very confusing for you right now. Youíve been lied to for so long by so many people, and now ďthe fatherĒ is telling you weíre just trying to trick you. Iím sorry your father never believed you, that was just wrong Ė itís obvious to me youíre very honest. Nobody would write the things you have unless they were being honest!

Grantley is not trying to trick you, and neither am I. Youíve been lied to for so long, and itís all youíve heard, so how would you know what the truth is? So to prove weíre telling the truth, weíre trying to show you something we can prove, like what year it is.

And more importantly, Jesus is there for you too. Yes, it can be a bit frightening at first, but really the fear is from ďthe fatherĒ who has lied to you all along, and is lying to you now. It is really him who is afraid of Jesus, because he knows Jesus is more powerful than him, and Jesus would make him leave. He also knows that Jesus wants whatís best for you, and that (thankfully) he is not at all what ďthe fatherĒ is like. ďThe fatherĒ also knows that once you start looking around, youíre going to find out for yourself that heís been lying to you all along, and that we are not mean and evil, nor are we tricking you, we are being honest with you.

We want to be your friend because Jesus became our friend when in many ways we were like you. I actually hated Jesus for a while. You know that? I told Him to get lost, get out of my life, go away. And I did many things that hurt Him, and to hurt myself. He was my friend and cared about me anyway Ė in spite of what I did to Him. Now Grantley and I spend our lives pointing people to Jesus, because we all need a friend like Him, and He is God Ė the true Father, the perfect Father that we never had. One who tells us the truth and cares about us. Unfortunately, there are liars out there who claim to be God the Father, and are not.

You have already proven just how brave you are by even writing to us (thank you for that Ė Iím so glad you did!). I know it takes bravery to do the things you need to do, like find out what date it is, to meet Jesus, and to tell ďthe fatherĒ to get lost in the name of Jesus Ė but I already know youíll be brave enough to do all that, because youíve already shown us how brave you are.

Hope you write again soon!

Ian

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, Honest!

You deserve many new names. Brave one is a name that you deserve because a brave person is someone who does not let fear stop him and you went to Jesus despite intense fear. That makes you very brave. I am so proud of you. Donít worry about fear. Keep pushing through that fear and getting to know Jesus because Jesus is all-powerful. He will protect you.

The father is nearby and I donít want him to know about Jesus.

I encourage you to run to Jesus, take his hand and tell the father that you belong to Jesus. You can then poke your tongue out to the father or do whatever you want because Jesus is your protector and the father canít do anything to hurt you because of Jesus. The father is helpless when you have Jesus inside you.

And you also deserve the name Innocent because thatís how God sees you when you let Jesus cleanse you.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

You told us before that we can create a safe place. Well I never knew that I had this power before but I thought I would try because FF Ė I mean Honest Ė was so scared last week. The closer it got to church time, the more and more scared he became. When we got there last week, he was really really freaked out. I have never seen him so panicked. I tried to tell him to go to the safe place but he couldnít find it so he just ran around all crazy like.

I also didnít know you could help an alter sleep but I read it from your website so I thought if he slept he wouldnít have to think about his fear and he could just wake up and be there and hopefully be safe. We finally communicated with each other!!! Happy dance!!

But I donít know what he faces inside his head. The father talks to him Ė that is all I know. He talks to you most, Grantley. He used to scare me so much. I never saw him get scared before, let alone wild freaked out, so it must be something awful that bothers him. I am sorry I donít know more. But he met Jesus today! Things are looking up!!

Take care

Anne

* * *

[From Anne]

To Friend,

Today Honest, an alter of mine, and I finally had success with team work together. It rocked!! He talked to me. He never talks to me!!

Jenny is very wise to teach alters about the importance of team work. She is amazing alter if you ask me. She was telling someone else before about having alters all get together each day to meet and touch base. I am holding on to the idea until I can make it work for us. Right now I am just meeting alters and trying to get their memories and handle it so this is a long term goal.

Take care and God bless

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

Today Honest, an alter of mine, and I finally had success with team work together. It rocked!! He talked to me. He never talks to me!!

Iím so thrilled about this!

* * *

[From Anne]

We have a serious problem here Grantley. There is a very destructive force hurting Honest. He is in real trouble. Whatever it is, it does more than just talk. Honest gets the worst of it, but I feel it near right now. It clouds my focus so I cannot see straight to write. I donít know what to do. Honest got control this morning and was trying to cut himself. I donít know if there is anything you can do because Honest will not come out right now to talk to you or me. It isnít safe. But I have to ask. What do we do?

* * *

[From Blessing]

Hi Anne,

My name is Blessing. Friend asked me to write you.

I am a warrior alter, even though I am only 3 years old.

Did you know that as children of God we have been given authority over demons? When you talked about the ďcloudinessĒ you had we knew right away that it was demonic.

We are children of the King. All kings who are worth anything have enemies. These enemies are going to try to kill, steal and destroy the King and what belongs to him. One of the ways this happens is through attacking the children of the King. History shows us that many kings have had to build fortresses and hire armies to protect just one child!

I am writing a bit fast, sorry about that, but you are in need of this information now. We have a fortress. You need to get into it. The key is our words. Our words are the army that protects us. We have authority to bind any and all demons. The words that bind demons are our swords.

I carry my sword around with me all the time. Demons want to stop God. They will try to get at God through us, his kids.

You can take the name of Jesus and stop those demons dead in their tracks. You can bind them and you can loose the angels to protect your fellow alters.

Any attack on any of your alters is an attack against you. When one of my sister alters gets attacked they get confused. I attack back and stop the demons.

You can do that, too. This is part of teamwork.

By the authority invested in you through Jesusí death and resurrection, you have the very Spirit of God in you. Use that authority and let the Spirit of God go to work for you.

Sorry this e-mail is hastily written, but I understand how urgent it is.

Your Friend,

Blessing

* * *

[From Grantley]

This must be a demon. Clouding oneís thinking is typical of demons. Jesus is so much stronger than demons. They are not to be feared. In fact, Christy has some alters (one 3 years old and one 5 years old) who love fighting demons and see them run off, terrified of them. The father had demons causing him to do the horrible things he did. It seems that either through his deliberate plan or through the demonís initiative, one or more entered into dear Honest in an attempt to enslave him. But Jesus is the great Liberator.

Creating a safe place within is good but it wonít work with demons. I asked you to read Imaginary Friends because that is about one group memberís successful battle with demons. Susan has a Secret is also helpful because it explains how even little alters have authority to send demons packing. Please also see Satan and Evil Spirits: You Can Beat Them Both Anne and Honest and as many other alters as possible need to prayerfully read these webpages.

Even more important is to stay close to Jesus and to ask for his help and guidance. He is very keen to see this demon or demons evicted but he prefers to do it WITH you rather than do it all by himself.

Bless you!

* * *

[From Anne]

It hurts so much I canít breathe or see straight. Jesusí name. Jesusí name.

Gotta go

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

It hurts so much I canít breathe or see straight.

This is all bluff. Jesus will keep you safe. You belong to Jesus. He is in you and that makes you so much more powerful than any demon. Rebuke the demon and keep telling him he must go because you and Honest belong to Jesus.

Day 17

* * *

[From Anne]

You wrote:

Even more important is to stay close to Jesus and to ask for his help and guidance. He is very keen to see this demon or demons evicted but he prefers to do it WITH you rather than do it all by himself.

I will try. It is too hard to talk now but I will try this hard to involve Jesus.

Thanks

Anne

* * *

[From Anne]

Thanks for your words, Blessing. The father used to just bother Honest but since Honest and I have been working together as a team, he bothers both of us. I am better able to deal with him than Honest so this is a good thing. But I donít feel like a warrior blessing but maybe I should.

The father is pure evil as I am sure all demons are. He tells me over and over again that I am bad he hurt Honest sexually and tries to hurt me too. I canít talk about it right now. It is too painful to talk about.

I try to rebuke him in Jesusí name but he doesnít listen which might be my fault because when the father is near, I feel overwhelmed by his powerful presence. I am disorientated, I canít see straight, and I canít focus enough to be able to, read, write, or think clearly.

His presence is so strong that I feel him inside my body. my heart beats really fast, I feel strangely tired, and so lost that I cannot figure out what is me and what is him. He takes my breath away that I feel like I canít breathe.

Regardless, I still try to be a warrior and push him back in Jesusí name but at best I can only temporarily push him back. He is a powerful force. He responds to me mainly by either trying to convince me Honest likes it. Honest is so hurt and terrified that he doesnít stay conscious. He DOESNíT LIKE IT. Or he uses his words to put me down.

The father doesnít like us talking about him. Things will get worse in Anne land if he knows about it so I must go.

But just so you know Honest, who always got the worst end, is sleeping quietly. He is fine right now. We together celebrate a small victory that we can push him back if even only temporary.

Thanks for the words of wisdom, Blessing. Remembering that we are children of the King is a good reason to keep trying to get rid of the father and all of his evilness!

Anne

PS: Please tell Friend thanks, too. God bless, Anne

PSS: You are an amazing 3 year old. I am glad we met.

God Bless

Anne

* * *

[From Anne]

Hi Ian, I will tell you what this demon thing feels like but I canít right now.

Anne

* * *

[From Honest in same e-mail]

Hi Ian, did you pray for me too? Well thanks. I am better now but I am very tired. I think I will need to sleep now.

Honest

* * *

[From Anne]

Iím so thrilled about this!

We couldnít do it without your help,

Thanks

Anne

* * *

[From Honest in same e-mail]

Hi Grantley

I like the name Brave. I am brave arenít I! That wasnít a question. I promise I know the answer. But I am not innocent. I am bad and the father agrees with me too. I have to go I am very tired. The father hurt me. I donít want to talk about it except to say I cried so much and nothing happened when I cried. But I didnít get to read about it on your web pages yet.

Bye Grantley friend

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, My Friend!

Thank you so much for writing.

You wrote:

I like the name Brave. I am brave arenít I!

Indeed!

But I am not innocent.

All of us did bad things in the past but Jesus is so powerful that he can make anyone who believes in him to be totally innocent in the eyes of God who is the Judge of all humanity. Jesus achieved what seems impossible by taking all our guilt upon himself and paying the full, awful penalty for our wrongdoing so that we no longer have to be punished for our sins. Instead God now sees us as being as perfect and innocent as Jesus, who has never, ever done anything wrong. This is so amazing that it seems impossible and yet it is true. Here are some Bible verses about it:

1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders (10) nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

That sounds as if there is no hope, but read on:

(11) And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

Acts 3:19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord

Isaiah 44:22 I have swept away your offences like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.

1 John 3:5 But you know that he [Jesus] appeared so that he might take away our sins.  . . .

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be [white] like wool. . . .

Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more

Jeremiah 33:8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.

1 John 1:7 . . . the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin

Ezekiel 36:25 . . . I will cleanse you from all your impurities . . .

On the cross, Jesus traded places with me. He has taken all my blame and given me his holiness. Because Jesus swapped places with me, I am sinless in the eyes of my Judge.

Isaiah 53:4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. (5) But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (6) We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. . . .(8) . . . For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken. (9) He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. (10) Yet it was the LORDís will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. (11) . . . by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. (12) . . .he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Romans 5:6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. (7) Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. (8) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (9) Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from Godís wrath through him! (10) For if, when we were Godís enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

Hebrews 9:28 so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people

1 Peter 3:18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. . . .

2 Corinthians 5:21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Romans 3:22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, (23) for all have sinned . . .(24) and all are justified freely by his grace . . .

------------

All of the above applies to EVERYONE who trusts Jesus to do it. The Bible insists that there are no exceptions. For proof that it applies to everyone (and so applies to you) and for very many more Bible verses saying that Jesus makes you innocent, see Itís True! Youíre Forgivable: A Sample of the Bible Proof

I am bad and the father agrees with me too.

He wants to trick you into thinking you cannot be made innocent because he knows that if you realize that God Ė who is always right Ė declares you innocent, then you will be free from him.

The father hurt me.

You donít have to accept this. Stay close to Jesus and let him protect you.

Your friend,

Grantley

Day 18

* * *

[From Anne]

Wow, Grantley that is a lot of scripture but you can be sure we read them ALL! Honest is sleeping right now. He was very tired but we read them together. He thought you quoted half the Bible. of course, I had to laugh, Hee hee, yeah close to it, huh.

Sending you my love,

Anne and Honest (in spirit)

* * *

[From Blessing]

Hi Anne,

Just so you know: this demon is like a very spoiled brat. He has had his way and has fed upon your fear and pain.

It is like telling a spoiled child to clean his room. That child might scream and throw a fit, but he knows he has to do it. The fit is to distract you and to throw you off guard.

The Bible says to put on the armor of God.

Ephesians 6:11-18 says:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devilís schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Putting on the armor of God means embracing the wonderful good person you are in Christ.

Sometimes that is very hard for us. We used to tell ourselves over and over, ďIím bad! Iím bad! Iím bad!Ē To overcome this lie we have to sing to each other a song that God taught us. It says we are Daddy Godís good child.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says:

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

That is our calling. We are taken out of darkness and given to Father God to abide him and have the fullness of him in us.

The demon lies. He is trying to trick you. I know it is very confusing. Our protector alter, Jenny, went through this haze and would hear tormenting voices. Then one day she and the rest of us got really angry. We were tired of being beat up by some lying jerk claiming to have power over us.

Jenny stomped her foot, called that demon a liar and we kicked him out. That spoiled brat knew it was over. Tell him to go back to the pit in the name of Jesus and donít come back! You are going on for God. The games are over.

You can do this a few times, if need be, and each victory will make you stronger. I am pleased for the victory you have had.

We are praying for you.

Friend says hello. She is helping some of the other alters and is helping me write this. Friend is three years old too, but youíd never know it! She is amazing.

Your Friends,

Blessing and Friend

* * *

[From Anne]

Hi, Blessing and Friend,

You wrote:

It is like telling a spoiled child to clean his room. That child might scream and throw a fit, but he knows he has to do it. The fit is to distract you and to throw you off guard.

But it feels so much worse than a spoiled brat. He affects me in such a powerful way. Right now it is quiet. But experience tells me it will come back when I am tired or sick or stressed, I am sure

Putting on the armor of God means embracing the wonderful good person you are in Christ.

I am one of the Sunday school teachers in my church and we are teaching the kids about the full armor of God but I never thought of it like that.

Can I just say, it is such a blessing to know people such as yourself and others in this group because the people from the church teach about God and they are like family to me, but they cannot even begin to understand how to apply scriptures to someone with multiple personalities.

For example, the pastor on Tuesday night was talking about how all sorts of different people need God for different reasons. But he could never understand how one person can need God for all of the reasons he listed. He can only understand how the Bible applies to each personís life as a separate person but because of all my alters of both genders and different ages I am more complex than that and I benefit hugely from getting Godly points of view from people like myself.

God bless with Love,

Anne

* * *

[From Helen]

Dear Anne and Honest,

My heart goes out to you both!

Father God,

I join my heart and my prayers with the rest of our group as we lift Anne and Honest up to You!

Father God, in the Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ we come against the vicious attacks by this person (being). Lord, thank you for the fight that Anne and Honest are putting up.

But Lord, we want more than a temporary setback of this evil person. We long to see Anne and Honest totally delivered from him!

And so I pray Psalm 91 for Honest and Anne!

Honest and Anne, who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Honest and Anne, will say of the LORD, ďHe is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.Ē

Surely you will save Honest and Anne, from the fowlerís snare and from the deadly pestilence. You will cover Honest and Anne with your feathers, and under your wings they will find refuge; Your faithfulness will be their shield and rampart.

Honest and Anne will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. . . .

Because Honest and Anne make the Most High their dwelling Ė even the LORD, who is their refuge Ė then no harm will befall them, no disaster will come near their tent. For you will command your angels concerning Honest and Anne to guard them in all their ways; they will lift Honest and Anne up in their hands, so that they will not strike their feet against a stone.

ďBecause Honest and Anne love me,Ē says the LORD, ďI will rescue them; I will protect them, for they acknowledge my name. They will call upon me, and I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will deliver them and honor them. With long life will I satisfy them and show them my salvation.Ē

In Jesusí Name,

Amen

Bless you!

Helen

Day 19

[No messages]

Day 20

* * *

[From Anne]

Some days I am less sad about all of the hurt we have experienced because without it, my relationship with God would be just like everyone else. I donít mean that God loves me any more than the next person. I just mean because we have been through so much hurt, we depend on God more than the average person. He honors that and touches our live deeper than the average person who doesnít have so many hurts, I think.

Bye

Anne

* * *

[From ďfatherĒ]

{Sent to me direct by private e-mail}

Subject: *#!%@ [FFís foul name] belongs with me!!

You had no reason to turn the boy on me, Grant*#!%@ley!! Youíre an *#!%@ prick. But whoís laughing now. This system belongs to me. You will never defeat me and they will never find me so *#!%@ the *#!%@ dude.

*#!%@ [FFís foul name] belongs with me and I will come back for the boy. I donít give a *#!%@ what he told you, we are one in the same. He is not the good little boy you picture him to be so stay out the *#!%@ of our business *#!%@. Get a life of your own.

Father

Day 21

* * *

[From ďfatherĒ]

{Sent via the group}

Grantley, I sent you a message. I need to know if you didnít get it so I can send it to the right place.

Father

* * *

[From Grantley]

Subject: To Everyone, especially Anne and Honest

The demon who had been tricking Honest has sent me a private e-mail. He calls himself father but God is now Honestís father and the demon is totally displaced.

Hereís my reply, which Iím sure you and all of heaven agree with:

Hi, loser!

Great to hear from you because this is my chance to inform you that Honest (he has a new name because Jesus has made him new) belongs to Jesus and Jesus is so much more powerful than you that it is laughable. Likewise, Anne and the others belong to Jesus and unlike you they are pure, innocent and holy because of Jesus. They have Jesusí power and authority, as well as Jesusí holiness. That means you donít have a chance. You are a liar and nothing but bluff. You are totally defeated by what Jesus achieved on the cross by dying in Honestís place. Jesus is your biggest nightmare and now Honest has him as his personal protector. You have no choice but to flee.

Like Anne and Honest, I have a life, thank you very much and because of Jesus that life is eternal whereas you are destined to hell. If you want your torment to start right now, then just hang around.

Honest belongs to Jesus, loser! His father is now God and you have no place at all in his life.

Day 22

* * *

[From Anne]

I donít even know what to say!! I hope this time you will accept my apology. You do not deserve this.

I do not know how to get rid of the father. I can push him back but he hides. I spent most of the day at church doing youth activities so he wasnít around. The father does not stay for church. But I know he is tormenting Honest.

Honest will not come out and talk about it either. But last night he was stuck inside his body. He couldnít get away to get help. And he couldnít remember what he was supposed to say to get rid of the father.

I fear I am not much help either because I can only push him back at best. At some point he goes out of my reach. He is a strong force and he is not just bluffing either. It is hard to get rid of him. I am out of ideas. I feel him near. My head hurts. I have to go.

Anne

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

Grantley, I didnít want to talk about the father. He has been mean and hurtful. But he taught me something that I wanted to tell you about it.

The *#!%@ father came last night. Have you ever felt your body but you canít move it? I felt like that. I was stuck inside me. I couldnít move and my voice wouldnít make noise.

But that is not what I wanted to tell you about. I want to tell you, I finally know what you meant by it is revenge to not be like the father. I get it now. I will tell you more later.

Bye

Honest

Day 23

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

We are finally free. Last night the father wanted me to sex the kids. My whole heart said that is wrong. So I tried to make the father go away in Jesusí name. She was staying close and we made him go away. We had to work a long time to get rid of the father. His screams are very scary.

Grantley, I always wanted the father out of my head. Now he is gone and I miss the father a little bit. What is wrong with me? Am I turning into him? Maybe miss him isnít the right words. The father is the only father I have known. He always taught me things. I donít know Jesus very well. I donít know how to be me. I might be turning into him?

Grantley can I ask you another question? When the father wanted me to sex the kids, it felt wrong in my heart. Will sexing people always feel wrong in my heart? Anne said told me before that sex is for people that love each other. Well I do admit it but I am a little bit confused.

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, Honest!

Congratulations! I am so proud of you!

You wrote:

We are finally free.

Fantastic! I celebrate with you the victory you have had through Jesus.

my whole heart said that is wrong.

Yes. That is because through Jesus your heart is pure, like Jesusí heart. Deep down you want to do what is kind and what is right.

So I tried to make the father go away in Jesusí name.

Superb!

and we made him go away.

Excellent!

we had to work a long time to get rid of the father.

Yes, this is what I expected. It is typical of demons. They know they have to leave but they pretend to be big and strong even though they are actually terrified of you because they know that because of Jesus you are much stronger than them. As I said they try to bluff us and they try to give the false impression that they will never leave even though inside they know they have to leave.

His screams are very scary.

They try to bluff us but in reality he was the one who was scared.

Grantley, I always wanted the father out of my head.

Yes.

Now he is gone and I miss the father a little bit.

This is normal. It is like a drug addict wanting to be free from drugs and yet even when he is delivered from them there are still times when he craves them and during those times it is very important that he stay strong and not give in to the craving or else heíll be in a mess again. As you keep resisting the urge to let the demon return, however, the desire will get weaker. This demon Ė he is in no sense your father, so I donít like calling him by that name Ė has totally lost, but no demon likes losing a victim like you were so he will wait until you are tired or you let your guard down a bit and then he will come back and try to bluff his way back into your life. Heíll try to scare you or seduce you. I am warning you ahead of time so that you will not be surprised when it happens. It is normal because thatís how demons act. But you are stronger than him and as you refuse to listen to his lies and you command him to leave in Jesusí name, he will be forced to leave.

the father is the only father I have known.

It is important that you make Jesus your father. Jesus, not this demon, is your real father. Jesus is good and safe and will only tell you the truth. He will love you and approve of you and teach you. Even though you have not been aware of Jesus he has known you all your life. He fully understands you. You are no stranger to him! He longs not just to be the best father you could ever have but your best friend. You mean everything to him.

I donít know how to be me.

It will be a little strange at first but this is a new and wonderful time for you. Jesus will give you the courage to be yourself and he will give you all the support you need.

Will sexing people always feel wrong in my heart?

This demon might try to trick you so that some time it might not feel wrong. What matters is not what it feels like but what God says. He says that sex is good when it is between a man and woman who are married to each other and devoted to each other for life and are gentle and patient with each other. He says that sex in other circumstances is sick.

Feel free to ask me any questions you wish, my friend.

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

I am happy happy, happy dance, that the father is gone now. But 30 seconds after he left more alters came to chat.

Hi my name is Sheila. Am I glad to be free! I am 9. I donít have a mom and dad. I was born in the rain. I stayed near the street light by the house until the father found me. I was cold and hungry but he gave me warm closet and food. He taught me about sex and growing up. I know kids have to sex with their parents but didnít really like sex. It hurt me. I am an evil girl.

But I have a friend who lives near me. Her name is She. She tricks people to think she is Anne. She said big people will freak out to know her. She taught me to read. We play together when the father is gone. I have to go back to the dark now. The light creeps me out. It makes me feel like something will jump out at me, scary. The light hurts my eyes. Darkness is safer. Thanks for setting me free.

Hi my name is David. I am free? I want the father back. I will get in trouble for talking about the wrong things. I canít be free. I donít want it. What is safe to tell? What is secret? Oh no, I forgot to ask the father what I can talk about if I meet someone. Please come back father. Wait, I know, he told me never talk to strangers.

But I have to know, why is my daddy gone? I am very scared to be alone. I donít know how to grow up. Will strangers hurt me? Please come back father. Okay okay, I can do this. I will wait in the front closet until you come back, father. The closet will calm me. Please come home, father.

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

But 30 seconds after he left more alters came to chat.

Iím not surprised. They were too scared to come out. There is much healing that they need and they couldnít heal while they were so scared. As they come out they will have pain and distress that will wash over you for a little while but they will heal and will find freedom from what has been hurting them all their lives.

Hi my name is Sheila.

Iím so happy to meet you, Sheila!

am I glad to be free!

Iím glad for you, too.

I donít have a mom and dad.

You deserve a good mom and dad. Anne would make a good mom for you and Jesus is the perfect dad.

I know kids have to sex with their parents but didnít really like sex. it hurts me.

It hurts you because God never intended for any child to have sex. He says that parents should never have sex with their children. Anyone who makes a child have sex is breaking Godís law and breaking Godís heart. God never wanted you to hurt. He wants you to be safe. He wants you to experience kindness and gentleness and to be liked and approved of and respected. He is on your side. He believes in you.

I am an evil girl.

No, you were forced to do things you did not want to do. Ask Jesus and he will instantly make you into a good girl whom God likes and looks after. Jesus is safe and will never have sex with you or hurt you in any way.

but I have a friend who lives near me. Her name is She.

It is great to hear about her. Iím so glad she taught you to read.

she said big people will freak out to know her.

I wonít. Some people donít understand but everyone in this group understands.

we play together when the father is gone

Great!

I have to go back to the dark now. The light creeps me out. It makes me feel like something will jump out at me, scary. The light hurts my eyes. Darkness is safer.

It will take a while to get used to the light but itís safe in the light now.

thanks for setting me free.

It was Jesus who did that and he would love to be your friend.

-------------

Hi my name is David.

Iím so pleased to hear from you, David.

I am free?

Yes, you are free to do whatever you wish and you are safe.

I want the father back.

The father was almost all that you knew and you didnít realize that the father was bad and that he wanted to hurt you. You deserve to be safe and have fun and enjoy life. You deserve to be listened to and believed and respected. You deserve kindness. The father would give you none of that. Why do you want the father back?

I will get in trouble for talking about the wrong things.

There is no one to hurt you now. You really are safe.

What is safe to tell? What is secret? Oh no, I forgot to ask the father what I can talk about if I meet someone.

The father didnít want you to tell because he knew that he (not you) would get into trouble if you told and he knew that you would discover that he was bad and was a liar. He wanted you quiet only because he wanted to hurt you.

why is my daddy gone?

I know this is confusing for you right now Ė it will get clearer soon Ė but he was not your daddy. He was only pretending to be your daddy Ė trying to trick you. No one will hurt you, dear one. You are now safe and there are people here now who will be good friends with you and make you happy and not hurt you in any way.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne]

Thank you, Group, for all of your prayers. They finally paid off. The father is finally gone. HAPPY DANCE, if even only for a minute!!

Anne and Family

* * *

[From Grantley]

You can be free from that demon forever. He will try to bluff his way back in again but you donít have to let him. You can keep him out forever. It is important that you encourage dear Honest to become close friends with Jesus and to make Jesus his father.

Day 24

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

Hi, Ian. Thanks for the prayers. I missed you. I havenít got to talk to you for a long time. I hate to admit but I was hiding today, all day.

Anne asked me to help her write so I agreed to come out. I know this is supposed to be a good time for me to finally be free. I am happy, too. But all of a sudden, I got my identity taken away from me. I didnít know how much the father controlled me until he wasnít there and I didnít know what to do anymore because I am so used to him telling me. I donít know how to handle freedom.

Anne and Grantley told me I just need time and to stay close to Jesus but I am a little bit scared. Okay, I lied. I am a lot scared. Because I donít want to be like the father but I donít know how else to be.

Take care, Ian and thanks for the prayers. I hope you donít go away from me.

Honest

* * *

[From Ian]

Heyyyy Honest!

So good to hear from you!

Unfortunately, people suddenly released from the grip of a demon often find themselves feeling a little lost. Usually because, exactly as you said, they had noooo idea how much they were being controlled until after the demon was gone. It is wonderful that YOU, and not someone else, told him to leave. Good for you! I know that can be really scary. Iím proud of you.

And already you are very much different than the father. You are not cruel, you are caring and kind. You are not deceitful Ė you are honest.

It will take some getting used to. Basically, youíre going to learn to be . . . you! :) A big help will be doing exactly what youíre doing now Ė coming out and bravely sharing where youíre at. The most important part is clinging to Jesus, because he will carefully and gently show you what to do next. Youíve got a lifelong walk ahead of you. Iíll tell you right now, itís an exciting walk. Itís challenging, itís fulfilling. It will have hardships (Iíve certainly seen my fair share!) but Jesus will never let you go, and thatís what makes all the difference in the world.

So what Iíd suggest is donít just share with us, but with Jesus. Tell us what Jesus is saying to you. Itís so good to hear from you Ė chat later, eh!

Still praying . . .

Ian

* * *

[From Anne]

Hi Ian. Thanks for your support with all the alters too. I will try to teach them about Jesus and be there for them as much as I know how so you have good advice.

Do you have any good jokes? I miss your funny jokes. Hee Hee.

Take care, friend.

Anne


{Ian e-mailed some jokes}

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

Thanks for your help Grantley. I was wrong about you and I am sorry. I hope you are smiling right now because I never told someone I was sorry before. It feels strange to me. But I mean it to feel good for you.

I will stay close with Jesus. He makes me feel safe. He is so amazing how he can make me feel safe and not even say one word.

But not today. I hate to tell people when I am scared. I donít want to be scared. But today I had to hide all day. I donít want to be like the father but I donít know how not to be either.

It is hard for me to describe what is happening inside of me but Anne stayed close to me. We donít really talk but we donít need words either. I think she knew why I needed to hide and she didnít stop me.

She looks out for me like a big sister. I like it too. It is cool that we can just be together and donít have to talk. I think that is a special relationship. But maybe it sounds strange but I donít know. But Anne is a girl so it is hard for her to help me. Well thanks for the help, Grantley. I still donít understand how you know so much but maybe I donít need to either.

Bye Grantley

* * *

[From Grantley]

Hi, My Friend!

You wrote:

Thanks for your help Grantley. I was wrong about you and I am sorry.

Thatís so kind of you, dear friend. We all make mistakes and that demon was trying his hardest to trick you.

I hope you are smiling right now

Iím smiling because you are free and because you are my friend.

I never told someone I was sorry before.

I thought that might be the case. Iím proud of you!

I will stay close with Jesus.

That is the secret of a wonderful life.

He makes me feel safe.

Wonderful! More important, still, is that even if he doesnít FEEL close, he is. He has promised never to leave you. And even if you were to feel scared you are still safe because of him.

He is so amazing how he can make me feel safe and not even say one word.

Beautiful!

She looks out for me like a big sister.

You deserve a big sister and youíve got the best father in the world Ė Jesus.

It is cool that we can just be together and not donít have to talk. I think that is a special relationship.

Indeed!

I still donít understand how you know so much

Jesus loves you and so he helped me.

Bless you, my friend!

Grantley

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

Hi, Ian,

I am not hiding today. I liked your jokes. I thought they were kind of funny. :)

Honest

PS: Thanks again for my name, Ian. I tell everyone that is my name. Smile

Bye Ian,

Honest

* * *

[From Honest (formerly FF)]

You were right, the father tried to come back but we pushed him way. I have a bad feeling he will come back again. It is hard to push him away but I didnít hide today. And Ian sent us funny jokes that made us laugh.

I have a question and I hope it doesnít sound dumb to you. Last night, Anneís daughter was taking a bath. And Anne went in to wash her hair. Well, the kid said she was having a staring contest with God and he won. You might think she is a crazy kid to pretend but I donít think she was pretending.

I think God was with her in the bathtub. And I very much with all of my heart am jealous because I wish he would come and be with me in the same way but I am not kid. I donít know what to say even if he will be with me. I donít even know how to play. I never played staring contest before but I so badly wish he could come and play with me too. I donít even know how to ask him. I am scared he will say no. and it will make me a little bit sad.

Am I too big to ask him to be with me in the same way? Do you think I can ask him to be with me too?

I am so glad Jesus helps you, Grantley

Bye,

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

You were right the father tried to come back but we pushed him way.

Superb!

I have a bad feeling he will come back again.

He probably will, but hereís your chance for another type of revenge. Youíve utterly turned the tables on him. Instead of him ordering you around, Jesus has made you HIS master. You are now ordering that slimy trickster around and guess what? He hates it and tries every trick he can think of but he ends up having to OBEY you and he leaves!! Think of it!! Isnít that one of the most exciting things in the universe? What a transformation!

You can be like Blessing. She LOVES it when demons appear. This is her chance for revenge. Instead of her and other alters cowering in fear like they used to, those pathetic trespassers are scared of her. And even though he tries to hide it and act tough that demon is SCARED of you, Honest, like a tough gangster would be scared of a baby who points a loaded gun at him.

it is hard to push him away

Heís reluctant to acknowledge that you are boss. Heís hoping that he might bluff you into thinking the ďgunĒ you hold isnít loaded. The ďgunĒ is the authority and power over demons that Jesus has given you and it is fully loaded and terrifying to demons.

but I didnít hide today.

Iím proud of you.

And Ian gave us funny jokes that made us laugh.

You have lots to laugh about, my friend. You are free and clean and pure and loved of God and through Jesus you are stronger than any demon in the universe.

I have a question

Thank you for asking.

I think God was with her in the bathtub.

Quite possibly.

And I very much with all of my heart am jealous

Iím thrilled that you are because having God as your best friend who plays with you in a safe way is the most wonderful thing in the universe.

I wish he would come and be with me in the same way but I am not a kid.

You are Godís kid and he loves you as much as he loves anyone in the universe. He wants to be your best friend and have fun with you.

I donít know what to say even if he will be with me.

He longs to come to you, but he is almost shy Ė not because he doesnít have the power to force himself upon you but because he is not an abuser and he never forces himself on you but patiently waits for you to invite him. Just ask him.

I donít even know how to play.

That doesnít matter. God knows and heíd love to teach you. He might have some suggestions that are better than a staring contest. You never have to be embarrassed with God. He thinks the world of you. You are now innocent and perfect in his eyes.

I am scared he will say no.

I understand but he wants to be your best friend even more than you want it.

Am I too big to ask him to be with me in the same way?

Not in the slightest. God wants us to be like children with him and not think we are too old to have fun with him. Christyís alter, Little Christy, knows Daddy God very well and she says that he is a kid at heart. Hereís what Jesus said:

Matthew 18:3 And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

do you think I can ask him to be with me too?

Absolutely! God can hardly wait for you to ask!

I am so glad Jesus helps you, Grantley

Thank you. Iím so glad about it but he helps you, too. It is only because of Jesus being in you that that nasty demon obeyed you and left.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

Important Explanation of What Happened Next

Unlike God, the devil is finite. He cannot be in every place at once. So he could personally tempt some people Ė Eve and Jesus are obvious examples Ė but he could not personally whisper different temptations in the ears of countless people around the world at the same time. It must be his underlings Ė demons Ė who usually tempt us. So when we battle temptation, we are battling demons. This makes it logical to suppose that a brief look at temptation might throw light on what Honest was facing.

When a Christian is strongly addicted to a particular sin, the omnipotent Lord has two options. He can display his power by a miraculous, instant deliverance from the addiction, with little or no effort from the Christian, or he can display his wisdom by allowing the person to endure many battles in which the Christian slowly learns how to defeat the Tempter by abiding in Christ and drawing upon his power.

In Lifeís Mysteries Explained I carefully explain what makes the second option so wise. Basically, even though initially the Christian often seems to grow weaker, it eventually builds into the Christian true Christlikeness in a way that no miraculous deliverance could achieve. You will probably need to read the webpage to grasp this fully but I raise this because the same principle applies to deliverance from demons.

As I had warned Honest and Anne, the demon tried to bluff his way back into dominating Honest. This caught Honest and Anne off guard. It not only rattled them, but Honest was already weakened by his groundless fear that Jesus might reject him. So the demonís bluff worked, causing Honest and Anne to temporarily lose faith in their ability through Christ to evict the demon.

A fast exchange of e-mails between Honest and Anne and the rest of the group ensued Ė so fast, in fact, that they didnít get a chance to read some e-mails before sending more. Time zone differences added to confusion. This is why some e-mails took a while to have their full effect in re-building Honestís and Anneís faith.

For further strengthening of your faith in your ability to expel demons, the following makes valuable reading. It is far better to get strong in faith before attacks than to try to pick up the pieces afterward. If, however, you are sure of your authority over demons you can skip down to here.

* * *

Day 25

[From ďfatherĒ]

{Sent to me direct by private e-mail}

Guess what loser, I win. Did you really think I would give up on *#!%@ [FFís foul name] so easy? *#!%@ [FFís foul name] belongs to me *#!%@ and you canít do *#!%@ about it. You will never get rid of me. I belong here!! Face the facts!!

But what I really want to know is, why the *#!%@ do you even pretend to care? Anneís parents and family doesnít give a *#!%@. They all belong to me. The dumb ass husband is too stupid to know *#!%@, let alone care, Anne doesnít give a rip *#!%@ about you or *#!%@ [FFís foul name], but even if she did, *#!%@ you, I belong here. The dumb whore doesnít even know I am back here. And *#!%@ [FFís foul name], he doesnít belong in your world. He canít do *#!%@ without my telling him what to do but he doesnít need to because *#!%@ [having sex] is the only business he needs to know. So what the *#!%@ makes you so damn special? Walk away Grant*#!%@ley!! No one will care. You know I am right here. *#!%@ [FFís foul name], and all those other little brats, needs me!!

But just to be play nice, I will make you a deal. You walk away because you know it is the right choice, no one else gives a *#!%@ here so why should you? And I will release the other five brat *#!%@ who belong to me, free and clear. And I will never bother you again.

This is a good deal and you know it! I suggest you take the deal because *#!%@ [FFís foul name] is a wimpy kid who only knows how to *#!%@ [have sex]. I give his pathetic life a purpose. He WILL grow up just like me. He just doesnít know it yet. But you know, I could just make the little *#!%@ *#!%@ [FFís foul name] cut his wrist same as the *#!%@ís father. *#!%@ [FFís foul name] belongs to me *#!%@ so back the *#!%@ off.

Father

* * *

[From Grantley]

To Anne, Honest, the demon and Everyone,

Under the illusion that I would back down, the demon has sent me a private e-mail. Unlike him, I am making this completely public to the group. We who have Jesus within us donít back down from puny demons. They are defeated and full of lies. Neither do we abandon our friends. I call upon the entire group to stand with you, Anne, Honest and the other parts who make up the whole person. None of you have the slightest thing to fear. Cling to Jesus and you are safe. Rejoice in the fact that Jesus loves you and totally cleanses and empowers everyone who comes to him.

Anne and Honest, I am here for you but you donít need me. All you need is Jesus and he is always with you. Just believe in his power over every demon. I donít want you to imagine that you donít have the power that I do. You have it because, like me, you have Jesus. It doesnít matter what you feel. You might feel guilty, weak, hopeless, or whatever. Feelings are deceptive and open to demonic manipulation but Jesus never changes.

Donít listen to your feelings and donít listen to the demon. He is nothing but a lying trespasser and you have used your divine authority and power to evict him and you can use that same power to keep him out. Instead, listen to Jesus. He says that you belong to him and that he has defeated all demons. He could do it all himself but he trusts you and believes in you. He wants you to have some fun by seeing demons cower before you. The demon doesnít believe in you nor does he empower you. Jesus does both.

In the e-mail this demon said that Anne does not care about me. Iím glad he told that lie because it is easy for Anne to know that he is lying about her. Just remember that everything else he says is just as big a lie. Likewise, he will be trying to tell you that I donít care about you. If that were so, I would be getting some much-needed rest instead of writing to you and encouraging you. If I were in this for my own glory, I would be acting like the big tough deliverer and treating you as weak and incompetent. But, like Jesus, I believe in you and I want to see you empowered, just like Blessing has been empowered and loves making demons run.

Honest, this liar says you canít do anything without him. You have proved him to be a liar over and over by you repeatedly e-mailing me when this demon hated you doing it and by you meeting with Jesus despite the fear the demon put on you and by you compelling the demon to leave. You are courageous, Honest. You have pushed through fear and done what is right. You have conquered. I am proud of you. This liar has no power over you. Itís as though he were holding a gun to your head and so you obeyed him for years, thinking you had no choice, but now you know that Jesus has unloaded the gun. You have purpose, Honest. Your calling is to make God proud of you Ė and you will achieve this over and over. You will rescue other alters and achieve great things in union with Jesus.

Honest and Anne, try to help David, the alter who felt lost without this demon. He very much needs your support and encouragement. None of you needs this demon. Just as the David in the Bible killed the giant, so David is a giant-killer even though he is only just beginning to realize it.

Below is what the liar wrote. I include it only because I trust you and because I have no secrets and because this demonís words are totally empty and worthless. He is pathetic. He calls himself father but Jesus is your father.

Your friend and brother in Christ,

Grantley

{I pasted here the demonís e-mail that he sent me, as it appears above.}

* * *

[From Honest]

I want to go jump off a bridge now . . . I donít want to keep fighting him off. You donít understand. I know he is wrong that I am not like him but he will not let up off me.

I spend my whole life trying to push him away out of my head and rebel against him. Now he left, I am lost. I lost my identity of who I am. He was so much a part of me. Now I feel a little bit worthless because I donít even know why. I just want to cry.

Last night, I wanted so much to ask Jesus to help me but I was really scared that he will say no. It doesnít matter how much you tell me he wonít, it doesnít stop me from having fear.

Honestly, I donít know how the father got back inside. I didnít consciously let him. Today all of a sudden, I felt really sick like I was going to throw up. I felt him inside of me and I tried hard to run away because I didnít know how to be strong like him and tell him to go away in Jesusí name.

He is wrong about what he said about us. I hate him for it but he tricks us. He just tells you words which is easy to not believe him but he tricks me. So I feel very strange inside of me and my head feels I donít even know the words . . .

I am sick of fighting him off. I donít know how any more. Anne is gone for 1 minute and he comes back.

I donít know David. I donít know how to help me so I am not sure how I can help him either. I hate this life. I really hate it.

Honest

* * *

[From Anne]

Grantley, he is a powerful force who is exceedingly strong and hard to push off. I want him gone really bad too. He lied about us, he hurts us but he is stronger than us too. He is just words to you but not us. We feel his hurt and trickery on a much more personal level and I am not good at being strong all the time no matter how hard I try.

I donít know what happen today. I couldnít stay in control because I didnít feel right inside. I couldnít stand it so I left. Honest isnít strong either and others are still hiding. They wonít come out.

I donít think you can understand it. You make getting rid of him sound so simple but it is not simple! I feel powerless to stop the father right now. He will never let up unless we give up. I will keep trying to get rid of him but I donít feel able to succeed.

Anne

* * *

[From Anne & Honest]

Subject: To God

God, I donít know what I am doing here. I donít know how to ask for help because I am really scared to ask right now. The father is strong father God. No one understands about it. I donít know the words but please understand. If you can see inside my heart, you will know, right?

I feel horrible sick to my stomach to ask for help. I donít want to get hurt. The father canít hurt me because I hate him. But I donít hate you, God, which means you have the power to really hurt my heart beyond repair.

We are very hurt and right now. I want it all to end. I donít want to pretend to be brave any more. I am so scared. I donít want to talk. I want to find a safe place to hide. Anne and Honest, I hate you father! In Jesusí name, I want you to go away! We hate you!

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I want to go jump off a bridge now

Honest, you are so precious to God and to me and you are headed for a life of fulfillment and joy. Please do not give up when you have already had victory and are so close to total victory and peace.

I know he is wrong that I am not like him

Excellent! You are seeing through his lies. And a critical lie you need to see through is the lie that he is stronger than you.

I spend my whole life trying to push him away out of my head and rebel against him.

You do not have to do this in your own strength, my friend. You are Jesusí friend. Call upon him.

I lost my identity of who I am.

You had no identity before. You thought you were a slave of this demon and had to act like him. Now is your opportunity to make your own identity Ė someone who is good and has dignity and brings joy to people.

now I feel a little bit worthless

This is just a feeling. The reality is that no one is worth more than you and you will soon discover this astounding fact.

I just want to cry.

There is nothing wrong with crying but the cry you are headed for is the victory cry.

last night, I wanted so much to ask Jesus to help me

Good. That would have made things so much easier for you.

but I was really scared that he will say no. It doesnít matter how much you tell me he wonít, it doesnít stop me from having fear.

Thatís right. Telling you doesnít stop the fear but the fear doesnít stop Jesus from loving you and wanting to help.

Honestly, I donít know how he got back inside. I didnít consciously let him.

I believe you. Unfortunately, while David remains weak Ė and possibly some other alters Ė they can invite him back in, but it doesnít matter because Jesus in you is stronger. Just make it easy on yourself by asking for Jesusí help even though it seems scary. The fear will melt when you reach out to him.

I tried hard to run away

You didnít have to. When you tried to run you made him feel strong. All you needed was to call out to Jesus and rebuke that trickster in Jesusí name and he would be the one running.

He is wrong about what he said about us.

He knows heís wrong. As I said, he is a liar. All he knows is how to lie.

I hate him for it but he tricks us.

His only power is the power of bluff. See through his bluff and youíve defeated him.

I am sick of fighting him off.

Then call out to Jesus and get rid of this deceiver. You can do it, my friend. You have far more power than you realize.

Anne is gone for 1 minute and he comes back.

You donít need Anne nor me. All you need is Jesus and heís available 24/7

Here is a quote from my webpage. Please read it:

{I then quoted in full the highly encouraging webpage about Godís love for every one of us and how there is no one through whom God cannot do astoundingly powerfully things: Why God Loves No-One More Than You.}

* * *

[From Grantley]

To Anne

Hi, sis!

You wrote:

Grantley he is a powerful force who is exceedingly strong and hard to push off.

Without Christ, he is stronger than you, but you are not without Christ, dear one. He makes all the difference.

he lied about us

Yes, like all demons, this one is all lies and his biggest lie is that he is stronger than you. When you call upon Jesus and rest in Jesusí power, you are the one in charge.

I donít think you can understand it.

I understand all right. You are not the only one to face demons. The problem is that you are believing your feelings rather than believing the power of Christ. Demons mess with our feelings and give us convincing illusions but they cannot change spiritual reality, and the reality is that Christ died on your behalf and in doing so he defeated every demon in existence so that the weakest Christian can share in Christís victory and have power over the strongest of demons.

I feel powerless to stop the father right now.

Of course you feel powerless. All he can do is mess with your feelings. Stop believing his lies and deceit.

He will never let up unless we give up.

Thatís utter rubbish, but if you choose to believe it then you really will lose. Faith is what gives us victory. Will you put your faith in this lowlife or in Jesus??

I will keep trying to get rid of him

Excellent.

But I donít feel able to succeed.

Forget your feelings, dear one, and ignore his bluff. Put your faith in Jesus. Look to him. Make Jesus and his infinite power your focus. Itís not a matter of how weak you feel but how strong he is. Whether you feel it or not, you are spiritually one with the Lord of the universe.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Jenny]

Hi. I have been praying for you and reading your e-mails, but this one really hit home.

It could have been me. I know how draining Ė okay, utterly exhausting Ė spiritual warfare was for me.

I had a demon and he messed with me in so many ways. Then getting rid of that arrogant piece of work was a task I was not up for. I never bargained that spiritual warfare can be so hard, but then warfare . . . well, the very word should have been a clue!

Anyway, one day I snapped. I mean I got so out-of-my-mind angry! This creature who has mocked my humanity, robbed my dignity, made my life utter hell was still trying to tell me what to do.

I got mad. I mean ANGRY. I stomped my foot and ordered him out. The anger was intense.

But you know what? He hasnít been back like that since. He took a very hard blow and didnít recover.

Demons have hell to look forward to. They are going to fight to stay. Makes sense? Would they prefer to stay with a human or go to hell? Well, that isnít too hard to figure out. They donít want to go to hell, even though they picked their poison! Theyíd rather you had hell instead.

When I got angry and took authority with that anger I think it showed that demon that I really did mean it. Then I surrounded myself with praise music and hid ďunder the shadow of the AlmightyĒ (Psalm 91). Running to God and abiding in him after those stands refreshed me and empowered me. He restored my soul! He gave me righteousness and dignity. ďBe strong and of good cheer,Ē the Lord tells us because you can win. But you can also get really angry and kick hell in the butt.

Just some thoughts.

Your friend,

Jenny

* * *

[From Jenny]

Getting rid of demons is not easy. It is a war for your soul. They have been feeding off of you and their future, which is hell.

They are arrogant and defeat isnít something they take lightly.

However, the fight is a good fight because you have already got the victory through the cross and because you can win.

The victory is worth the fight!

Please fight that fight. Each time you give up, you have to fight that much harder to win back and the demons will disrespect you even more.

Every stand for God has huge rewards. Every time we extend ourselves for God he will meet and exceed our expectations.

Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand, as Godís word tells us. It is worth it.

Jenny

* * *

[From Helen]

Subject: Our Authority Over Demons

Dear Anne and Honest,

We obey a policeman; not because we are frightened of him; but because we know he has the authority of the law behind him to make us obey him.

There are many verses about Jesus casting out demons. But below are verses proving that those who belong to Jesus also have the authority to cast out demons through the power of his name. Print these verses. Keep them with you. And when that wretched demon tries to make a nuisance of himself read them out to him Ė aloud!!!!

You will be acting on the authority of Jesus himself!

Bless you!

Helen

***

Matthew 10:8 [Jesus said to his disciples] heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

Matthew 15:22,28 a Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, Lord, son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.... Then Jesus answered, woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted. And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Mark 3:14-15 Jesus appointed twelve Ė that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. And to have authority to drive out demons.

Mark 6:13 [Jesusí disciples] drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

Mark 16:17 [Jesus said] and these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will drive out demons

Luke 9:1 when Jesus had called the twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons

Luke 10:17 the seventy-two returned with joy and said, Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.

James 2:19 you believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that Ė and shudder.

* * *

[From Ian]

Hi Honest,

Iím so sorry about the troubles youíre having. You are certainly not the first to have faced a demon like this, so donít be hard on yourself.

Even the disciples were stuck casting out a demon at one point! But what Iíve learned over the years is that the person the demon is affecting is the important one. In this case, thatís you. I know this is all new and frightening to you Ė including not knowing how to handle it once the demon is gone. But itís you who needs to stand up and tell the demon to leave, in the name of Jesus. Youíve proven time and again how brave you are, so I already know you can do it. Iím not disappointed in you in any way, nor is Jesus. You simply havenít been here before to know what to do, and now youíre learning.

Weíre very proud of you, Honest. Please donít feel like youíve failed. These demons are tricksters Ė very slick. Even though Iíve been a Christian for 30 years, they still occasionally fool me! We already knew that he would try to come back and slip in when you least expect it. Youíre the one that needs to tell him to leave, Honest, and Jesus is right there with you.

Weíre all praying with you!

Ian

* * *

[From Ian]

Hi Anne,

Hang in there girl! It is tough, youíve come a loooong way already. I just wanted to address the lie from ďthe fatherĒ saying heíll let up if you give up. This is ridiculous. Giving up and letting him have his way is obviously him not ďletting up.Ē It seems ridiculous that he would even attempt to convince you of such ridiculousness, but what else would we expect from an insane being like this demon?

Honest is the one who has to tell him to leave, but weíre praying for you too, Anne. This is rough, and Iím sorry youíre having to face this. It will be over very shortly because we already know that Honest is going to win through Christ. :) It may take Honest some time, and a few different tries while he learns, but we already know because heís already proven himself.

Praying earnestly, and standing with all of you in the Spirit,

Ian

* * *

[From Honest]

Grantley, I donít understand all of what you are telling me but I am trying. I will have to read several times to make sense of it.

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

Honest, you wrote:

I am trying. I will have to read several times to make sense of it.

Excellent, Honest. Demons are not very smart. Their main weapon is to cloud oneís thinking so that their lies make more sense and making it hard to grasp the truth.

When I say that the demon is all bluff, I donít mean that he does not seem powerful but he only has power over you when you start believing he has power and you yield to him. It is like obeying someone with a mask who has a gun pointed at you. The person seems scary and powerful and makes you do things but only because you donít realize that without the mask he is a 90 year old weakling and the gun is not loaded.

Jesus has wiped clean your past so that God now sees you as pure and without sin. You and Jesus are now spiritually one so that God loves you as powerfully as he loves Jesus. You are no longer alone. Jesus is always with you but you have been scared to discover this fact because you have feared that Jesus might reject you. He wonít reject you because he has totally removed all your sin and spiritually he is now part of you and you are part of him.

* * *

[From Megan]

Dear Honest,

I hope you donít mind me writing. I just wanted to tell you I understand the feeling of losing your identity after the demon is gone. I had that happen to me. And it was the most awkward thing I couldíve experienced. After going one direction and pushing everyone else to go with me all my life, to just totally stop and try and reverse direction was like trying to push a tidal wave back. Nearly impossible.

Jesus helped me, though. And he will help you too. And since Iíve been free of the demons, I have been free to become someone I actually like. And I donít have to feel apologetic to others when I want to interact with them. And I donít have to feel like Iíve been mean and nasty.

I am free to be me. Jesus loves me. And people in this group love me. And they understand when I have to continue to fight the demons, which I do. And they will support me. They have. Helen is a really neat lady who supported me when Jesus delivered me from the demons. I could not believe that Helen would speak to me after she knew all that I was about. Yet she did. She not only spoke to me, she prayed for me, and she was there for me day in and day out. I love her dearly for that. And she has shown me what a beautiful lady is. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Honest, you are the best! Iíve seen so much good in you. Iíve wanted to write you for a very long time. I hope itís okay that I did. You may write me any time and ask me anything you want. I know what itís like to have questions that you donít think itís okay to ask.

I hope we can be friends.

Megan

* * *

[From Megan]

Hi, Honest,

I had to re-read things Grantley would send me several times, too. It was because my demons wanted to cloud my mind and they kept trying to keep me from understanding what I was reading. They even kept me from hearing Grantley and Jenny when I would phone them. And they would cause me to choke and all kinds of stuff physically.

They will be as nasty as they have to and will stop at nothing to try to reclaim what they thought was their territory. They are ruthless and are as ugly and despicable as they can be. I hate those demons. They are liars and murderers and thieves! They are slimy, disgusting and tormentors. They have nothing good in them. They are selfish, arrogant and insolent!

They used to call themselves my friends and had me convinced at one time that they were loyal and faithful. They are just the opposite! Donít fall for their schemes! It is all just talk.

I agree with Ian. Honest, you have to open your mouth and speak the name of Jesus. Sometimes it takes hundreds of times each day. And after a while, they will be convinced that they no longer have a place within you. And I also agree with Ian in that I have seen you write over and over and be brave and talk to people who the demons abhor. That has given you quite a bit of ground into the enemyís territory! You are taking back what he stole from you! You are declaring your independence from his nasty power and control! You are gaining victory in your life! I can see it, and I see nothing but total and complete victory for you! Iím so excited to see this for you! Jesus is good! He is marvelous! He has called you into his marvelous light! There is no darkness in him! He is more than conqueror and it is he who lives in you! These statements Iím making to you are not just words! They are not based on feelings! They are based on the victory that I see in you already! Oh, the sweetness of life that I see for you in your future!

Bless you, Honest! Even your name exudes the victory that you have through Jesus! Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!

Megan

* * *

[From Honest]

Megan, you wrote:

I understand the feeling of losing your identity after the demon is gone. I had that happen to me. And it was the most awkward thing I couldíve experienced

I am sorry for you but that is the best news Iíve heard all day. Thank you!!

After going one direction and pushing everyone else to go with me all my life, to just totally stop and try and reverse direction was like trying to push a tidal wave back. Nearly impossible.

I am not sure what that means but I think it is the same as I feel, maybe. I am not very good with words so I donít know exactly.

I am free to be me. Jesus loves me. And people here love me.

It is great to be free but how long does it take to learn how to handle being free?

I could not believe that Helen would speak to me after she knew all that I was about. Yet she did. She not only spoke to me, she prayed for me, and she was there for me day in and day out.

I donít know Helen but I know exactly what you mean. I saw the fatherís e-mail to Grantley. I canít believe Grantley will talk to me. He should hate me for what is happening inside me. Do you ever feel that way about Jesus? I know he says Jesus loves us so much. Grantley says that a lot but . . . well, it should be so clear to me but I donít want Jesus to hurt me. He can, you know.

I hope we can be friends.

Me, too.

Bye Megan,

Your friend,

Honest

* * *

Megan, how did you ever get so much faith? I wish I had the same faith.

Honest

* * *

[From Anne]

Ian, you wrote:

Praying earnestly, and standing with all of you in the Spirit

Thanks, Ian. Your prayers give me strength. Grantley says I have to ignore my feelings and just stick with Jesus. I am going to try it. He is right, my feelings cannot be trusted. The father mixes them up without me even knowing it is happening. Thank you so much for your prayers, friend.

Anne

* * *

[From Honest]

Ian, I do feel like I failed but not because the demon came back. I didnít invite him. I donít know how he got back. I feel like I failed because I donít know how to be strong to tell him to leave in Jesusí name. I feel like I failed because I never knew this was coming. I spend all my life fighting against him and I finally got free and I feel worse than I did before I got free. Shouldnít I have known this was coming so I can know what to do? I donít know how to think for myself. The fatherís way is all I know.

And I feel like I failed because I know I have to ask Jesus for help but I am so scared to ask. My head knows, donít worry you are crazy to not ask him for help, you can do it, but my heart is too scared that I will get hurt badly.

I never cared about someone the way I care about Jesus. I really like him. He touched my heart in the most amazing deep way. The father could never hurt me because I never cared about him. But Jesus I care about him and that means he can hurt me.

I feel like I failed and a little bit worthless because I never knew that was coming. I pushed the father out for years and in all that time I never thought about how to think right or not his way. How come I didnít know this stuff?

I need to be brave and tell the father to leave in Jesusí name but maybe I need to take a risk and ask for Jesusí help first. I never admitted it before but I think I love him.

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

Honest & Anne,

You wrote to Ian:

I do feel like I failed, Ian, but not because the demon came back. I didnít invite him.

You are absolutely right about you not inviting him back, Honest. I told you ahead of time that the demon would try to come back. Demons hate leaving and so they always try to return, hoping that they can bluff their way back in. This happens for everyone. That is why I wanted you to be the one who would make him leave the first time Ė and you did this Ė because if I or someone else had done it you wouldnít realize that you have that power and the demon is sure to try to come back at a time when we are not around.

I feel like I failed because I donít know how to be strong to tell him to leave in Jesusí name.

Thatís okay. You are very new at this. Here is one of my favorite Bible verses:

Micah 7:8 do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

I feel like I failed because I never knew this was coming.

Demons will always try a surprise attack. They are weak and have to rely on stealth and deceit. We wonít know when they are coming but I told you he would come some time.

I spend all my life fighting against him

You have to remember that everything is very different now. It is not like before when he would always win. You have changed because of Jesus. You not only have a new name; you are a brand new person with new powers.

and I finally got free

This proves your new powers. The difficulty is in you believing that everything is now different. You are suffering from a psychological condition known as learned helplessness. Here is a quote from my webpage about it:

To restrain a baby elephant, circus trainers must chain it to a huge stake driven into the ground. When the baby grows into an adult, however, it is many times smarter and stronger. What trainers must then drive into the ground is just a tiny tent peg.

The baby had tried everything to break free. It had strained with all its might, pulling in every conceivable way, hour after hour, day after day. The huge stake refused to budge. So, rather than mindlessly keep trying to do the impossible, it did what at the time was the intelligent thing: it gave up trying.

The baby grew into a powerful beast. Convinced by bitter experience that whenever it is tethered there is no point trying to resist, it never bothered to determine whether anything had changed. So it suffers indignities, even though, if only it could grasp the fact, it could easily rip up the peg and trample those who sought to dominate it.

As an adult, it finds itself bound not by a stake but by a powerful psychological force. This powerful force has been given several names, one of which is learned helplessness. It has been the subject of much research by psychologists because, in one form or another, it binds millions of people. It is a factor Ė sometimes the full reason Ė in the peculiar tendency of many of us to be plagued by what seems to be bad luck, year after year.

Consider, for example, the heart-wrenching fact that even after growing into adults, survivors of child sex abuse often find themselves staggering from one abusive relationship to another. Like the baby elephant, abuse survivors once found themselves in a situation in which escape was impossible. No matter how hard they tried, nothing they could do could free them from humiliation at the hands of those who sought to dominate them. Now they are older and have more options, but the devastating effect of their past ordeal is so crippling that if ever they find themselves in a slightly similar situation, it is exceedingly difficult for them to believe they could break free. No one convinced that resistance is useless has much chance of resisting with all his or her might.

Learned helplessness is so horrific that experiments have usually been restricted to animals, and even then scientists felt the need to explain that they did it only in a quest to find a way of curing learned helplessness in humans. In one such study, scientists designed a dog enclosure, divided by a low barrier, one side of which was uncomfortable. Dogs quickly learned to cross the barrier to the more pleasant side. With new dogs, however, both sides of the barrier felt uncomfortable, so crossing the barrier achieved nothing. Conditions were then changed so that these dogs, like the first ones, could avoid discomfort by crossing the barrier. Yet the dogs never learned to do so. Having been subjected to a no-win situation had rendered this second group of dogs incapable of discovering the simple way to avoid the discomfort. Even in their home cages they seemed lethargic and dejected.

Like the elephant, the dogs had had driven out of them their natural tendency to try to escape. So when placed in a situation where they could easily escape, they never make the discovery that escape is now possible.

We often find ourselves in similar predicaments. First, we suffer a number of failures in very difficult or impossible circumstances. afterward, when something changes to make success quite possible, we are in grave danger of remaining in defeat simply because we do not recognize that the situation is different to the one that defeated us.

------------

In the above I spoke about learned helplessness in general terms but Iím sure you can see how it applies to you. Jesus has now empowered you but it is easy to forget this and slip back to thinking it is just like it used to be before Jesus made you different. If you forget and start believing that lie you wonít run to Jesus and use his power and so you will give in to the demon when there was no need for you to give in.

and I feel worse than I did before I got free.

There is no need to feel this way. Here is something else Iíve written:

One of the most important things is to focus on Godís great love for you and not let deceptive spirits trick you into thinking that God frowns on you when you fall into sin. Yes, God is disappointed, but when a little child with good parents falls, whatís the first thing he does? He runs to mommy or daddy for comfort. You, too, can run to daddy. God is on your side. He cares deeply for you. Your spiritual enemies, however, want to make you feel uneasy about running to God. They know we instinctively recoil from anyone we fear might be angry or displeased with us and we will keep that person at armís length. Your enemies want you to be standoffish from the only one who can truly deliver you and defeat their attempts to bring you down. They donít want you to rejoice in Godís forgiveness but to feel miserable and isolated from the warmth of Godís comfort.

To nurture your awareness of Godís love for you, read How Much does God Love Me? and all the links listed there.

-----------

And hereís something else:

FROM CRUSHING DEFEAT TO ETERNAL FAME

We find him lurking in the shadows of Scripture. He was a breath of fresh air in a hurricane. John Mark was bad news. In the human race he led the field from go to woe. He has often been identified as Christianityís first streaker Ė the man who blurred through Gethsemaneís garden with the raw grace of a plucked chicken, leaving behind his clothes and his Savior. (Mark 14:51-52) More humiliations were to follow.

His unflattering nickname, stub-fingered, suggests he was physically impaired. To this he added a handicap of his own making: he was branded a deserter Ė a second time.

When the pressure mounts, the last thing you need is for a trusted companion to abandon you. Thatís what Mark did to Paul and Barnabas.

His desertion seems to have deeply hurt Paul. The apostle was adamant that hanging out with this dodo was a no-no. Barnabas, who always stood up for the under-dog, (Acts 4:36; 9:26-28; 11:22-25) defended his cousin Mark. The result was a rift between old friends; the shattering of a great missionary team. (Acts 15:37-39) We never hear of Barnabas again.

One look at Ďstump-fingerísí yellow face and you knew this jinx had had mistake and eggs for breakfast again. Whenever this egg-head cracked, everyone got egg on their face. Just what the church needs! He must have felt as blue as a browned off white man seeing red because heís accused of being yellow.

Mark could have drowned in self-pity. He could have resented Paul. He could have turned back to Judaism. Instead, he redoubled his efforts, eventually being recognised even by Paul as having an outstanding ministry. (2 Timothy 4:11; Colossians 4:10; Philemon 24) Peter also spoke affectionately of him. (1 Peter 5:13) As writer of possibly the earliest gospel and a primary source of Matthew and Luke, Markís contribution even to todayís church is beyond measure. This planet is a better place today because nineteen centuries ago a Ďno-hoperí called stub-fingered decided to tough it out.

Knowing our weaknesses, our loving Father has preserved many such stories for us to gain strength.

ĎThen will I teach transgressors your ways,í crooned David. When? After a calamitous moral fall. (Psalm 51:title, 3-5, 12-13.)

ĎSimon . . . feed my sheep.í (John 21:17) When? After denying his Savior.

ĎHe slew at his death more than he slew in his life.í (Judges 16:30, paraphrase) When? After Samsonís greatest humiliation.

Samson and David each knew the horror of spiritual failure. On the crest of their vocation, they plunged to abominable depths. Their lapses were inexcusable. Their ministries were desecrated. Yet they refused to dwell in defeat. They were failures for a moment, but they were overcomers forever. Grasping Godís hand of forgiveness, they clambered to new heights for the exaltation of the One who washed them clean.

Oppression crushed Simon the rock into sand. On the brink of ministry, after years of grooming, he blew it. He lied. He invoked a curse on himself. He disowned his Lord. (Matthew 26:74) Yet though it rocked Simon, this one-time rock didnít peter. Empowered by his Savior, he again turned to stone.

Though the righteous Ė thatís you and me in Christ Jesus Ė fall seven times, they rise again. Thatís a promise. (Proverbs 24:16, see also Psalm 37:23-24)

It was just a hair-cut
For the plaything of Delilah;
And just a prayer-cut
For Peter the denier.
Strong they dozed
But weak arose,
And knew it not.

Men destroyed by fatal cuts;
Left to wallow in their ruts;
Left with blame
And haunting shame,
In sin to rot.

A seed so small and barely sown
Meant to die, but how itís grown!
Things so small
Grow so tall,
But marvel not.

If sin can grow,
So can prayer;
If prayers will flow,
So will hair.
With faith restored
Hope will soar,
And blunders blot.

His repentance real,
The victim of Delilah,
Had victories still.
And the spineless Christ-denier
Shed his shame
And became
The churchís rock.

Shouldnít I have known this was coming so I can know what to do?

No. As I said, it will be a surprise but when it occurs know that Jesus thinks the world of you and call upon him and use his power to defeat the demon.

I donít know how to think for myself. The fatherís way is all I know.

This is an exciting new era for you. In this regard you are like a baby beginning to walk. It takes a while but youíll master it and before long you will thoroughly enjoy the new freedom.

And I feel like I failed because I know I have to ask Jesus for help but I am so scared to ask.

This fear is just a feeling. It is not reality. It is a lie from the demon. Jesus will be delighted to hear from you. He will never reject anyone who wants him. Disregard the unpleasant feeling and call out to Jesus.

I never cared about someone the way I care about Jesus. I really like him. He touched my heart in the most amazing deep way.

Thatís beautiful. Jesus knows everything and he knows exactly how you feel about him and it thrills him. It makes him want to dance for joy. He thinks the world of you.

Jesus I care about him and that means he can hurt me.

In theory this might be so but in reality it is impossible for Jesus to hurt you because he is far too loving. It is impossible for someone so loving as him to reject you.

I need to be brave and tell the father to leave in Jesusí name but maybe I need to take a risk and ask for Jesusí help first.

You are right. Go to Jesus first. He is the source of your power over the demon. He is your father now and he is your best friend.

I never admitted it before but I think I love him.

Beautiful!

* * *

[From Honest]

Jenny, you wrote:

Please fight that fight each time you give up you have to fight that much harder to win back and the demons will disrespect you even more.

I sure do not want that to happen, Jenny. I am sorry that I donít really know you but my heart says that sometimes you just have to trust what the person is saying is right and go with it even if you donít understand or know the person. That is what my heart says so I will try it. But youíre right it is a very hard fight. I never gave him a good reason to want to be with me. I hate him in Jesusí name. But I am scared of him and he knows it so no matter what I say even in Jesusí name he doesnít listen. It takes Anne being with me to make him listen. Thank you for your help. I will not give up, I promise that much at least.

Honest

* * *

[From Anne]

Jenny, you wrote:

Then getting rid of that arrogant piece of work was a task I was not up for. I never bargained that spiritual warfare can be so hard, but then warfare, well the word should have been a clue!

You are not kidding, and the word doesnít even begin to describe it.

Anyway, one day I snapped. I mean I got so angry out of my mind! I got mad. I mean angry. I stomped my foot and ordered him out. The anger was intense. But you know what? He hasnít been back like that since. He took a very hard blow and didnít recover.

I think I like you. I want to be exactly the same way but I donít know how to get from being really scared of him to being so mad at him for all the hurt that I am going to stand up and tell him ďNo!Ē in Jesusí name. Does Jesus give you that power? I think I will have to be brave and ask him for it because I want that same power too. No, I really really I canít tell you how bad I want that same power.

Stay with a human or go to hell well that isnít too hard to figure out. They donít want to go to hell

Now I know why he picked to stay with me. I thought I did something to make him like to stay with me.

Then I surrounded myself with praise music and hid ďunder the shadow of the almightyĒ (Psalm 91).

I really like music too. It works for me. He doesnít listen to me when I push him back because I am scared of him. It gets in the way of me being able to show him that I really hate him. But there is something about music that doesnít require words that gives me a connection with God and the demon doesnít stay around when I listen to praise music. I donít know Psalm 91 but I will read it.

I know how draining Ė okay, utterly exhausting Ė spiritual warfare was for me.

Yeah, me too. I was so tired that I slept for nearly 12 hours but I woke up and I feel better able to stand my ground with God by my side. It is impossible to be strong and keep my focus on God when I am so tired from fighting off the evil father all of the time. Will he ever be gone for good!! I am sorry that you had to go through this stuff too but it gives us hope that we are not alone and we can fight him off that you went through it too. If that made sense, I hope.

Love always,

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

Honest, you wrote to Christine:

My heart says that sometimes you just have to trust what the person is saying is right and go with it even if you donít understand or know the person.

God is at work in you even when you donít realize it. He is working in your heart and it is actually him who is telling you that it is safe to believe what is being said.

Youíre right it is a very hard fight.

Itís psychological warfare Ė a battle of wits. It is having to see through lies and tricks and push through fears. And, yes, that is hard but you are one with Jesus and Jesus is the greatest winner in the entire universe. That makes you a winner, even when you donít realize it and donít feel it.

I will not give up, I promise that much at least.

Iím proud of you! Iíve found very often that when we feel exhausted and are almost ready to give up, the demon feels the same way and we only have to hang on a little longer for full victory.

* * *

[From Anne]

Grantley, you wrote:

Forget your feelings, dear one, and ignore his bluff. Put your faith in Jesus. Look to him. Make Jesus and his infinite power your focus. Itís not a matter of how weak you feel but how strong he is. Whether you feel it or not, you are spiritually one with the Lord of the universe.

I know this is the answer to all of my problems and not just this one either but this is easier said than done. I will try it.

Grantley, just so you know, Honest and I both thought you would never want to talk to us again. We saw the fatherís e-mail later and he was evil about it. I was so scared that I couldnít breathe and my stomach hurt. I hate him. Thanks for not turning away from us. It gave Honest the courage to try to talk to Jesus because he has the same fear to ask for help and it gave me courage to keep trying to fight the father. A little sleep helped too. I didnít realize how tired I was until I slept for 9 hours. This is a lot of work. Plus I have the cares of this life, too, so I have been an easy target.

Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

Anne & Honest,

You wrote:

I know this is the answer to all of my problems and not just this one either

Yes, and this is why Jesus is allowing this battle. I know it doesnít feel like it right now but you are going to end up so strong because of this battle Ė just like Blessing did. We can read books and see others do it but it is when we experience victory ourselves that we are truly empowered Ė and victory is coming. Keep remembering that you have already had victories over this demon. It was you and Honest, not us, who got rid of him before and you can both do it again.

Christy experienced the same thing as you. The demons would come back when she least expected it Ė usually when she was feeling tired or down or most vulnerable. And they would scare her and she would feel powerless and resistance seemed useless.

Honest and I both thought you would never want to talk to us again.

Iím not surprised that you thought that because itís exactly what the demon hoped and what he wanted you to believe, just like he wanted me to believe his lie that you didnít care about me. Whenever he says anything, you can be sure that the opposite is true. I am on your side and so is Jesus.

Bless you, my friend!

* * *

[From Ian]

Hi, Honest,

I really like what you wrote. I know itís hard to go through what youíre going through, and probably even harder to write and admit it Ė but thatís exactly why I said I liked that about you: youíre honest.

Youíve never been here before. So just like learning to ride a bike, youíve never done it before Ė youíre going to fall down and wonder what on earth you did wrong. You get back on the bike, and figure it out. Sometimes youíll scrape your knees in the process. Jesus is right there, watching and teaching you how to ride that bike, but he has to let you go and do it yourself, otherwise, you never grow up.

I can certainly attest to what youíre saying about both loving Jesus and being afraid of him, and afraid that heíll hurt you. For a time, I was deathly afraid of him! :)

But he loves you very much, Honest, and he is on your side! I know it takes time and experience before you can feel you can trust him, and trust that he wonít hurt you. I, too, was very afraid for the longest time that he would hurt me but by stepping out, one step at a time, and seeing that he didnít reject me, he didnít hurt me. Thatís how I learned to trust him. Sometimes Iíd scrape my knee while trying to ride that bike, and Iíd initially blame him. He didnít hurt me, in fact heíd come up and give me a big hug, because when I hurt, he hurts.

It all takes time, and small steps. Weíre here with you, but even more importantly, Jesus is there with you, right there.

You said:

I need to be brave and tell the father to leave in Jesusí name but maybe I need to take a risk and ask for Jesusí help first.

The things youíve written have just made me say, ďWow!Ē Because you get it. Youíve spotted what needs to be done, and yes, I think you hit the nail on the head. And it is a risk Ė I hear ya! Youíve been rejected for your entire life, so of course youíd be afraid Jesus will only do the same. He wonít reject you, but me telling you that wonít make any difference Ė you have to learn it and experience it for yourself. As youíll learn for yourself, even when he corrects you, he does it in incredible love and care. Even when you make a mistake, he doesnít reject you.

Youíre doing quite well, Honest.

Still praying for you, and still by your side in the spirit,

Ian

* * *

Day 26

[From Megan]

Hi, Honest! Many thanks for writing! I want to assure you that you can get there in faith, too! You are so very new to all that you have discovered. I want to encourage you to continue to pour your heart out to Jesus and to Grantley.

And, Honest, please donít give it another thought about what ďthe fatherĒ wrote to Grantley. Grantley understands and is not in the least offended by you or any other part of Anne.

Iím glad you want to be friends with me! Youíve no doubt heard Grantley say that you deserve good friends. I agree! Be good to yourself, Honest! That is what Jesus wants for you. And no matter what youíve done in life, Jesus sees you no differently. You are the apple of his eye! He adores you and so do I!

Bless you, Honest!

Maryís Megan

* * *

[From Honest]

Hi, Grantley

Thank you for all of your help. You talk to me more than the father does! Hee hee. I donít want to be helpless. I didnít work all my life to fight against the father to end up being helpless NO WAY!! That is not for me, no chance here. I donít want it!!!

So I went to your website to read more about love but I didnít have time to read very much. I will read more today. And last night I got brave and talked to Jesus. I told him I love him and I was very strong about not being scared and guess what he came to visit me. He told me to close my eye and I saw him. He was trying to show me something but I couldnít stay but for a minute and I was scared so I opened my eyes so he left. You were right, he didnít force me to stay with him either. He only came when I wanted him to be there. I will tell you about it if you want but I was sad that I couldnít be brave longer. I am learning to do it right!

The father came back today too. He was an evil man. He tried as hard as he can to get inside of me. He hurt me but I didnít let him get inside of me. I was alone. Anne wasnít there with me. But I was so much better able to tell him no than I ever did before. I am so close to getting rid of him for good.

And I met little David. He is little boy. I will try my very best to help him. I can relate to his struggle but he is a little bit different than me in that he doesnít fight against the father. I have to find sometime alone to teach him the same way you and your group taught me, huh?

Bye, Grantley, I am very glad Jesus helps you. I was able to be brave because I know Jesus must be like you in some ways because he teaches you how to help us but Jesus he is both of ours father, huh?

Bye, Grantley

* * *

[From Grantley]

Honest, you wrote:

Thank you for all of your help.

You deserve it my friend!

You talk to me more than the father does! Hee hee.

I certainly care for you more than he does and think more highly of you. He only wants to enslave you and exploit you. Jesus wants to free you and empower you.

I donít want to be helpless.

You arenít. Youíve just learning how to operate in the power of Jesus rather than using your own strength.

So I went to your website to read more about love but I didnít have time to read very much.

Smart move! The key to victory is keep reminding yourself of how special you are to God. Itís hard to believe because we are used to feeling useless and unwanted and because demons keep trying to undermine our awareness of how loved of God we are. As I have written:

Few of us doubt that God can do amazing things. The weak link in our faith is believing that he would do such things for ordinary, inconsequential you and me. We suspect we are not sufficiently special in the Almightyís eyes to warrant such attention. Oh yes, ďGod loves everyone,Ē but we have a hunch that by the time that love reaches us it has spread pretty thin. Iím just one of millions. Why would God want to focus his omnipotence on me?

Awareness of how much we are loved is forever slipping from our consciousness. Partially in sight for a few days, it begins to fade again.

I will read more today.

Excellent!

And last night I got brave and talked to Jesus.

Iím so proud of you! Well done, my friend!

I told him I love him

Great!

and guess what! He came to visit me.

Of course! :)

You were right, he didnít force me to stay with him either. He only came when I wanted him to be there.

Yes, he is so gentle and he respects you.

I was sad that I couldnít be brave longer. I am learning to do it right!

Yes, you are learning. You are doing great!

The father came back today too. He was an evil man.

Yes, he is evil but he is neither your father nor a man. He is a filthy demon who pretends to be more respectable than he is.

I didnít let him get inside of me. I was alone. Anne wasnít there with me.

You did brilliantly!

But I was so much better able to tell him no than I ever did before.

Excellent.

I am so close to get rid of him for good.

You are rid of him. He just keeps checking to see if you might weaken and change your mind. Heíll realize eventually how determined you are and how aware you are of Jesusí power in you. As I have written:

Until you realize that false feelings will continue NO MATTER HOW DEVOTED YOU ARE TO CHRIST, youíll be so vulnerable to false feelings that the tempter will keep piling them on more than ever. None of us ever gets to the point where we are no longer tempted. Unwanted thoughts and feelings would only slightly taper off if the tempter has tried so often without ruffling your feathers that he begins to believe that such an attack will NEVER succeed with you and is a complete waste of his time. If heís Godís out of that approach in the past, he will take a lot of convincing.

Satan is a sore loser. Once he finds something that shakes us up he keeps trying it over and over relentlessly until he is absolutely convinced that his tactics will never again work with you. When, finally, he seems to leave, it is only to bide his time for a surprise attack. His persistence is so very unpleasant. The positive side, however, is that this will make you stronger and stronger as you keep resisting his lies.

It is important, however, that you stay close to Jesus.

Please understand that when Jesus seemed to leave, he didnít. All that happened is that you were not able to SEE and FEEL him but even when he is not visible, he is still with you.

And I met little David.

Wonderful!

I will try my very best to help him.

Thank you so much. He needs you. He feels so lost without the father and he needs to make Jesus his friend.

I have to find some time alone to teach him the same way you and your group taught me, huh?

Yes, and he can learn by watching you, too. What got Blessing started as spiritual warrior is that she saw a sister alter (who was five) chasing off demons with her sword, so Blessing copied her.

I am very glad Jesus helps you.

And heíll help you just as much.

I was able to be brave because I know Jesus must be like you in some ways because he teaches you how to help us but Jesus he is both of ours father, huh?

You are right in every point, my friend.

So good to hear from you!

* * *

[From Honest & Anne]

I remembered to think the opposite of what the father says and it helped me not believe him and it made me strongly push him back. I got mad at him and told him to go away. He is getting weaker in his efforts. Hee hee. I think he knows we will get rid of him for good soon.

Honest and Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

I remembered to think the opposite of what the father says and it helped me not believe him and it made me strongly push him back. I got mad at him and told him to go away. He is getting weaker in his efforts. Hee hee.

Wow! You are doing great!

I think he knows we will get rid of him for good soon.

He is far more terrified of you than he lets you see. You are like a baby with a loaded gun in your hand. That would scare anyone. Heís just hoping you wonít realize the damage you could cause him if you pulled the trigger. Heís forever trying to fool you into thinking the gun isnít loaded but heís terrified because at any moment you could realize the power that you have in Jesus and then heís in B-I-G trouble.

* * *

[From Honest & Anne]

Jenny, you wrote:

Please fight that fight each time you give up you have to fight that much harder to win back and the demons will disrespect you even more.

It is his turn to lose, Jenny. We are getting better and better at pushing him away!! SMILE but he doesnít give up easy. Thanks for standing strong with me. :)

Honest and Anne

* * *

[From Honest & Anne]

Grantley you wrote on your webpage:

Captivate me. If the greatest commandment is to love you, my God, with my whole heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37-38), empower me to seek you tenaciously until I receive a revelation of your love that is so real and vast that I truly fall in love with you.

This is what I want but I am still scared. I wonít quit not because I want victory because I admit that is not what drives me most. I wonít quit because I want to know what the following feels like (quoting from your webpage):

and invigorating and oh so very quiet . . .
I am out of words for now
Words describe . . . and limit
Words contain Ė restrict Ė define and explain
Let me be out of words for now
Let me stay here in this silent love . . .
Resting in the glaring mystery of you
Hushed in the majestic awe of you . . .

This is something I have never known but I can honestly say that I donít think I am alone in saying that. Lots of things I feel that I missed out on and everyone else already knows about it but this maybe lots of people never knew about it.

I am trying to read your web page and your e-mails but whenever you put Bible quotes and Bible stories in there, it is hard for me to read. The father is near, he clouds my focus so it is hard to read and comprehend it all. With some of the Bible stuff I donít know the stories but Anne tells me about it.

I just started to read your web page about love but I have to stop because my eyes hurt from trying so hard to focus. It makes me feel dumb that I canít get it but I know it is the father clouding my focus again.

Bye friend.

Honest and Anne

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

Captivate me. If the greatest commandment is to love you, my God, with my whole heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37-38), empower me to seek you tenaciously until I receive a revelation of your love that is so real and vast that I truly fall in love with you.

Beautiful!

I am still scared.

Thatís okay. That just gives you greater glory when you ignore that deceptive and unpleasant feeling and cling to Jesus. So many wonders are available to every Christian and yet most of us tap in to a pathetically small fraction of them. Donít settle for that, my friends! Take it ALL!

* * *

[From Helen]

Dear Honest and Anne,

Captivate me. If the greatest commandment is to love you, my God, with my whole heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37-38), empower me to seek you tenaciously until I receive a revelation of your love that is so real and vast that I truly fall in love with you.

Song of Songs 4:9-10 ďMy sister, my bride, you have thrilled my heart; you have thrilled my heart with a glance of your eyes, with one sparkle from your necklace. Your love is so sweet, my sister, my bride. Your love is better than wine, and your perfume smells better than any spice.Ē

THATís how God feels about YOU!

Bless you!

Love,

Helen

* * *

[From Megan]

Dear Honest & Anne,

Hang in there! Both of you. I totally understand what youíre going through. It was so hard most of the time when I finally let go of my demonic ďfriendsĒ who ended up being sleazebags. I had to read over and over and over Grantleyís e-mails to me. And Helenís too. And then I would speak to Jenny and it took a lot of time for what she said to sink in.

I got so tired of the scum bags coming and trying to reclaim what they lost. It also made me feel like I could not breathe. There were days where I was so sick to my stomach because of what they were doing that it was all I could do to make it another day.

Honest and Anne, I admire your courage! I am so inspired by your tenacity. You both are winners! Keep it up! I know you will.

Your friend,

Megan

* * *

[From Honest]

Megan, you wrote:

I totally understand what youíre going through.

Thank you

I got so tired of the scum bags coming and trying to reclaim what they lost. It also made me feel like I could not breathe. There were days where I was so sick to my stomach because of what they were doing that it was all I could do to make it another day.

That sounds like me, oh for sure!!

Honest and Anne, I admire your courage! I am so inspired by your tenacity. You both are winners! Keep it up! I know you will.

I really would rather not having to go through this. It is truly hard. I wish it to be over because the demon never stop trying so thank you in your faith. One day maybe I will have the same faith and I will be able to give back to those inside of me and others who have the same struggles, too.

Thanks Megan,

Honest

* * *

[From Jenny]

To Honest and Anne

Dear Friends,

You wrote that this demon is stubborn, but so are we! God has already won the war on sin.

You are already victorious. Demons lie. They are desperate to avoid the fruit of their actions. No one wants to reap what they sowed less than a demon!

But as you realize this, you will also realize that demons are terrified of you. You are the boss. No matter what lies they tell or what masks they wear, they know the truth is that God has given authority to you through Jesus.

In the Psalm 2 we see that God sits in the heavens and laughs at those who conspire against him. There is good reason for his joy. He has already won. The war is over.

Be blessed and victorious,

Jenny

* * *

[From Honest]

Jenny,

You wrote:

You will also realize that demons are terrified of you. You are the boss.

This is one of those things that I will always remember. Later down the line in my life, I will look back and say I remember when I didnít believe it.

But right now you have to forgive me if I say NO WAY!! However, I do believe that Grantley is right about God putting it in my heart to listen to you, so I have no doubt you are right, my friend.

Take care with love,

Honest

* * *

Day 27

[From Anne & Honest]

To Helen the Great!!

You donít know me but you are still there for me. I admire that about you. I hope one day I can do the same for you. Bless you my friend with lots and lots of love. :)

Anne and Honest

* * *

[From Honest]

Grantley, you wrote:

Thatís okay. That just gives you greater glory when you ignore that deceptive and unpleasant feeling and cling to Jesus. So many wonders are available to every Christian and yet most of us tap in to a pathetically small fraction of them. Donít settle for that, my friends! Take it ALL!

I keep trying but I have a bad feeling that I have a lifetime of learning to do because I missed out on so much. I canít even picture where I will end up.

Please understand that when Jesus seemed to leave, he didnít. All that happened is that you were not able to SEE and FEEL him but even when he is not visible, he is still with you.

I am beginning to understand it.

That would scare anyone. Heís just hoping you wonít realize the damage you could cause him if you pulled the trigger. Heís forever trying to fool you into thinking the gun isnít loaded but heís terrified because at any moment you could realize the power that you have in Jesus and then heís in B-I-G trouble.

He doesnít show it but his day is coming!! I can feel it. JESUS IS WITH ME!!

Thank you for all you do, Grantley

Bye

Honest

* * *

Days 28-29

[No messages]

Day 30

[From Honest & Two Other Alters]

Hi Grantley, Honest here. Anne has been acting weird and that is all I want to say about it!! Girls are sort of strange, donít you think?

Well, I donít want to say it too loud because I donít want him back, but the father went away!!

I was really scared of him but I called out to Jesus, ďPlease God help me get rid of him.Ē The father hurts us so bad. And guess what, Jesus listened and helped us. You knew he would and you were right!! I am not like Blessing that I like to fight off demons. I really donít ever want to have to do that again. The father wasnít like a human, you know, but he was definitely scary.

I wonder something, do you think the evil father knew my real father who was human? I donít know if he is really alive or dead. Grantley, my real father didnít love me so I am afraid if I see him I might just want to kill him. Maybe it is better if I donít know if he is alive or dead, huh? Anne doesnít know either but she explained how we are together as one person. I donít mind as long as I donít have to turn into a girl.

I read your web pages about love. I mean not all of them. You wrote a lot of stuff, Grantley!! I didnít know even where to start, there was so much stuff. I was reading on your website about how much God loves people and all the different ways God made each of us different. And how he loves each of us even if we donít think we are unique. It was pretty great but I didnít understand all of what I was reading. I couldnít find something about how to not be afraid of Godís love. But I might have seen it and I didnít understand what I was reading.

Well, we learned how to work together as a team. Friend and Jenny, taught Anne about it. Anne said it is important that we work together. She invited me and little David and Sheila to church but the pastor was gone and there was another guy. I didnít know him so I was a little bit nervous to hang out. But I have been helping little David. He is just a kid, you know.

Anyway, last night Anne wanted little David and Sheila and me to be with Jesus for a little bit, so she asked him to come be with us at home. And of course he was so great to listen. He came to us. I closed my eyes because I was a little bit nervous but he didnít even ask me to open my eyes. He just touched me. I felt his power in me. It was pretty amazing, Grantley. I asked God to be with you too.

From little David,

When I saw God come near, I was scared but he blew the dark away from us so everything turned light and I wasnít scared. And he told me he was my new daddy. He was shiny bright like my night light only white. He likes me.

David

From Sheila,

Me, too. I wasnít scared of him. He blew his breath and the darkness all went away. it was a magic trick. He made me feel safe inside. He told us, he loved us. I felt safe with him. I stayed in the light and it didnít hurt my eyes and I wasnít scared. He asked the other inside to come near but which I am not sure who he meant but no one came. God doesnít hurt people. He is made of love. I like him too.

Sheila

I have to go Grantley.

Bye,

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

Girls are sort of strange, donít you think?

Ha! Ha! They are wonderful. Girls can be very strong, especially when they grow up and have God in their lives.

Well, I donít want to say it too loud because I donít want him back, but the father went away!!

You can shout it from the housetops. You have nothing whatsoever to fear.

I called out to Jesus

That is so important. Jesus is always with you but you need to believe this fact in order to have authority over demons.

And guess what, he listened and helped us.

Of course.

You knew he would and you were right!!

Indeed!

In Jesus you are just as powerful as Blessing and with a few more victories under your belt youíll love getting revenge by sending demons fleeing.

Do you think the evil father knew my real father who was human.

I donít know the full story of the parts that make up the full person you belong to. Iím confused because Sheila wrote in an earlier e-mail, ďI donít have a mom and dad. I was born in the rain. I stayed near the street light by the house until the father found me. I was cold and hungry but he gave me warm closet and food.Ē It seems she was nine when this happened. This suggests that ďthe fatherĒ (the human) might not be your biological father. I believe that whoever sexually molested you either deliberately or unintentionally transferred the demon into you.

Grantley, my real father didnít love me so I am afraid if I see him I might just want to kill him.

You might indeed have very deep emotions about him but all of these emotions need to be worked through and resolved in order for you to fully heal and become like Jesus. For a brief overview, see When ďForgivenessĒ Does Not Bring Healing.

Anne doesnít know either but she explained how we are together as one person. I donít mind as long as I donít have to turn into a girl.

There is no pressure on you becoming a woman. Nevertheless, to be a mature, Spirit-filled woman is both honorable and safe. God did a good thing when he made women.

I read your web pages about love.

Please keep reading them. It takes a long time to get these truths deep into oneís spirit. But go beyond this and spend much time with Jesus yourself.

I couldnít find something about how to not be afraid of Godís love.

There is nothing to fear about the perfect love of God. Someone with imperfect love might stop loving, and someone who stopped loving might reject a person or turn nasty. But because Godís love is perfect he keeps loving and loving and loving and will never reject anyone or hurt anyone. People reject him and leave him but he doesnít reject them. He is always longing for them to come back into his warm, welcoming arms.

Well, we learned how to work together as a team.

Iím thrilled.

I have been helping little David.

Wonderful!

Anne wanted little David and Sheila and me to be with Jesus for a little bit so she asked him to come be with us at home. And of course he was so great to listen. He came to us. I closed my eyes because I was a little bit nervous but he didnít even ask me to open my eyes. He just touched me. I felt his power in me. It was pretty amazing, Grantley.

How beautiful!

I asked God to be with you too.

Thank you.

When I saw God come near, I was scared but he blew the dark away from us so everything turned light and I wasnít scared. And he told me he was my new daddy. He was shinny bright like my night light only white. He likes me.

David

There are tears of joy in my eyes, David. Iím so happy to read of your beautiful experience with Jesus.

Me too, I wasnít scared of him.

Well done, Sheila!

He made me feel safe inside.

Jesus is so very safe and he protects us.

I stayed in the light and it didnít hurt my eyes and I wasnít scared.

Thatís so special because I know the light used to hurt your eyes, Sheila, and you felt safer in the dark.

He asked the other inside to come near but which I am not sure who he meant but no one came.

We need to pray for this dear one.

God doesnít hurt people. He is made of love.

Thatís right.

Thank you Ė all of you Ė for sharing.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

[From Anne & Honest]

WE GOT RID OF THE DEMON, Jenny!! WHEE WHOOO!!! I do pray this time for good but we are different than last time.

Take care.

With love,

Anne and Honest

* * *

[From Jenny]

I am jumping with joy. We are standing with you for total victory.

Much Love,

Jenny

* * *

Days 31-35

[No messages]

Day 36

[From Grantley]

To Anne and Honest

Hi, My Friends!

Remember that you have Jesus because he loves you dearly and has totally cleansed you of all past sin. And because of that you have the upper hand whenever a demon approaches you.

Here is some encouragement from one of my webpages:

Turning Spiritual Attack into Victory

Humanists imagine they have suddenly become incredibly smart, being able to discern physical and psychological reasons for phenomena. They have actually become incredibly thick, being able to see nothing but the blatantly obvious. The Apostle Paulís words stick with appalling accuracy: Professing to be wise, they became fools (Romans 1:22). Donít catch their blindness.

The presence of obvious physical reasons for our problems does not reduce the likelihood that they are shots fired from the spirit world. Paul faced enough natural dangers to seize anyoneís attention Ė wild seas, infected wounds, bandits Ė yet he focused on spiritual battle. Though he regularly bled at the hands of human opponents, Paul insisted that our fight is not with people but with spiritual powers (Ephesians 6:12). His gospel threatened the livelihood, pride and traditions of thousands. Wherever he looked, human reasons for his struggle glared at him. Yet he saw the human component of his conflict as inconsequential. Either the apostle was a fruit loop or we clash with the non-physical realm more than most of us suppose.

Spiritual Parasites

Demons are spiritual parasites that want to attach themselves to us and suck spiritual life from us. Left to their own vices, they will weaken us and make life needlessly unpleasant. They are the spiritual equivalent of physical parasites, such as tapeworm or hookworm.

It is not just non-Christians who need to be wary of parasitic worms. It is quite possible to have them for years without realizing what it is that is keeping us that bit below optimum health.

A person cannot be said to be possessed by parasites. He has full control, except for a tiny aspect of his life, and even in that he retains partial control. A person with worms can do almost anything without parasitic interference. Only in the area of nutrition has he lost a degree of control. He can decide what he eats and when he eats but until the worms are banished he cannot prevent them from robbing him of some of his nutrition.

Demons of lust might, for instance, harass a Christian with unusually intense and prolonged temptation. This could be most distressing, and the person might voluntarily surrender to the temptation; perhaps, for example, under the illusion that resistance is useless. In reality, however, God has promised that no temptation will be too strong for a Christian. So a demon could flood a person with horrific temptation but it could never compel a Christian to sin.

Not so many years ago, I felt sexually assaulted by every sensually dressed woman I saw. I wasnít particularly defeated by it but it was a continual, wearying battle. There is sure to have been a natural element to this. It is Godís intention that women flaunt their bodies solely within the confines of holy matrimony. If only more Christian women would let God remove carnality from their lives! Nevertheless, I wondered if in addition to the natural, there might also be a demonic element to what I suffered. So I made an appointment with someone experienced in the deliverance ministry. To this day, Iím uncertain whether, in my particular case, that was the reason why things have improved. It might have helped. I donít know for sure. I have the satisfaction, however, of knowing that I was not so foolish as to let pride or embarrassment keep me refusing a potential source of help.

Parasitic worms are so repulsive that we naturally recoil from the thought of having them. The worse thing we can do, however, is to live in denial, because if we do, they will continue to afflict us. Someone with parasites has foreign invaders in his life that have no right to be there. The only smart reaction is to face the possibility head-on, with a view to eradicating anything that could be afflicting us.

Prayer Is Not Enough

Satanic opposition hampered Danielís ministry. He had sought a revelation. Heaven was silent. Though uncertain about what was happening, Daniel fought on in prayer and fasting, day after day. Heavenís reply had been dispatched on angelís wings, but evil powers blockaded it. When the celestial courier finally arrived, he revealed he had been engaged in heavenís answer to Star Wars (Daniel 10:12-13). Spiritual powers had been locked in supernatural combat. For twenty-one earth-days the battle raged. Perhaps the weapons used defy our comprehension, but I believe a deciding factor was something we know a little about Ė the impassioned prayers of a man who longed to serve God. With the resolve of a marathon winner, Daniel prayed on and on and on. Had he accepted the hold-up as heavenís final answer, the enemy might have successfully intercepted the prophetic message.

With Satan lusting after us like a crazed beast, we either pray or are preyed upon.

And yet we often need more than prayer.

Foot-sloggers are no match for the prince of the power of the air. If we neglect prayer, dark forces will forever sabotage our labors; our attempts to attack their kingdom will never get off the ground. Join the prayer force. A defiant fist amuses Satan. An uplifted hand terrifies him. Prayer will shoot him down.

Prayer is fearsome ammunition. Without a canon, however, even the deadliest ammunition cannot pound the enemy. For faith-packed prayer to reach its full ferocity it must be used in conjunction with two other aspects of spiritual warfare. One aspect Ė legality Ė is automatic for the born again warrior. It is the other Ė authoritative aggression Ė where many of us falter. Add this to prayer and you have an arsenal against which the combined forces of hell are reduced to a cringing rabble of terrified wimps.

If undesirables have moved into our house, it is insufficient to establish that their action is unlawful. Nor is it enough to complete an assertiveness training course. Confirming our legal standing and strengthening our resolve to enforce our rights are both vital steps, but it is futile to stop here. We must actually evict the squatters.

Our spiritual union establishes the illegality of Satanís move against us. Without this, as the sons of Sceva discovered, good intentions and pious or aggressive ranting achieve nothing (Acts 19:13-17).

In addition, we need prayer to build us up, empowering us for spiritual confrontation. We often so focus on Paulís itemization of the armor in his classic on spiritual combat that we forget it culminates in praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit (Ephesians 6:18). The disciples, bewildered by their inability to expel a demon, needed Jesusí revelation that there is no alternative to prayer (Mark 9:17-18,28-29). No matter how intimately they knew Jesus, prayerlessness still meant powerlessness.

Yet with our union with Christ resolving the legal issue and prayer girding us with divine strength, insidious trespassers will continue until we enforce our blood-bought rights. Jesus, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed of the devil, (Acts 10:38) not only spent entire nights in prayer, he authoritatively confronted anti-God forces. Time and again he rebuked opponents to Godís will, be they fevers, storms, demons or whatever. We must follow his lead.

The Bible opens by affirming that God created humanity to rule. From the onset, the Lord of hosts delegated authority to man and woman (Genesis 1:26-28). Humanity lost much when it lost its innocence, but with the breaking of sinís curse by the shed blood of the innocent Son of God, we are again expected to rule, acting like Jesus in ousting evil hordes.

If you were granted police powers, would you tolerate a law breaker vandalizing a sacred place, or assaulting someone, or molesting a child? Well arenít you the Spiritís holy sanctuary, part of Christís body and Godís own child? Is it proper for you to passively endure an evil assault upon your person? Shouldnít you be incensed that cowering low-life, whose defeat cost the very life of the Son of God, would have the audacity to trespass onto Godís turf, insult a work of God and violate a part of Christís very body? When opposed by vile spirits, rise with indignation and enforce your Christ-won authority by ousting those frauds.

When buffeted by malicious powers we are likely to feel as green and as limp as wilted spinach. We must understand that authority has nothing to do with how vibrant we feel. A police officer has as much authority when he is tired as when he is fresh. A bed-ridden king has more authority than a nobleman in the prime of manhood. The issue is not how strong we feel, but whether we are bound to the One granted all authority in heaven and earth.

The showdown

It was a duel between spiritual super-powers: the false gods of Egypt versus the one true God. Aaron throws down a rod. The stick becomes a writhing snake. What a victory Ė the raw power of God spectacularly displayed in the very court of Pharaoh. Face it, Pharaoh, youíve backed a loser! Heathen sorcerers step forward. They drop their rods and each squirms to life. Before Pharaohís eyes is Mosesí solitary snake, hopelessly outnumbered by the magiciansí slithering brood (Exodus 7:9-12).

A homeward-bound Levite needed to lodge for the night. Though a pagan place was more convenient, he chose the security of an Israelite town. Here heíd sleep peacefully, surrounded by Godís people. But to his horror, he discovered these people, despite having known Godís blessing and his laws, were more depraved than the heathen. Given half a chance, they would have raped him. They abused his concubine all night. She was dead by morning. An Israelite town had slumped to the putrid decadence of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Outraged, the Levite summoned the whole of Israel. Godís law was explicit: those murderous perverts must die. But their tribe refused to hand them over. The entire tribe was so committed to wickedness that the Benjamites resolved to fight, if necessary to death, against the united armies of the whole nation, rather than allow the execution of Godís law.

Greatly disturbed, the faithful sought God. It would have been tempting to by-pass this step. They were obviously in the right and the odds were heavily in their favor. Though the Benjamites had a few skilled fighters, they were their brethren, not some super-race, and Israel outnumbered them, 400,000 to less than 27,000. But they did the right thing. They consulted God, and he so approved that he gave them his strategy. On their side were natural superiority, righteousness, divine approval, and the wisdom and infinite might of the Lord of hosts. In obedience to their Lord, they marshaled their forces, high in faith and in the power of God.

And they were slaughtered. In one day 22,000 of them were slain.

They wept. They prayed. They sought the Lord again. Empowered by a fresh word from God, they mobilized for the second day. And 18,000 more of them were massacred (Judges, chapters 19-20).

The mighty Son of God came to earth. This was the climax of a divine plan conceived before the earth was formed, and for millennia intricately woven into the fabric of human history. It was the showdown: creature versus Creator, dust versus divinity, filth versus purity, mortality versus immortality.

And Jesus died.

In Pharaohís court, occult powers miraculously produce many times more vipers than God. In the time of the judges, Godís forces are routed by an army of inferior strength. At Calvary, Godís Son is dead.

How I thank God for the Bible! Few other Christian books tell it as it really is: you can be flowing in the power of God, following his instructions to the letter in absolute purity and be routed by Satanís puny forces.

But only for a season.

Mosesí rod swallowed up the sorcerersí rods. On the third day, Israel crushed the Benjamites. Jesus, on the third day, swallowed up death, having crushed the devil.

Bless you!

Grantley

* * *

Day 37

[From Anne and Honest]

Grantley, you wrote:

Demons of lust might, for instance, harass a Christian with unusually intense and prolonged temptation

Yes they do and temptation is only one of their many tools.

perhaps, for example, under the illusion that resistance is useless.

They keep at you until you believe this is true.

the impassioned prayers of a man who longed to serve God.

We want the same thing in our life.

With Satan lusting after us like a crazed beast, we either pray or are preyed upon.

YIKES

Add this to prayer and you have an arsenal against which the combined forces of hell are reduced to a cringing rabble of terrified wimps.

I want to always keep that picture in my head.

In addition, we need prayer to build us up, empowering us for spiritual confrontation.

Keeping all alters praying as much as they need, can be a very challenging task.

Is it proper for you to passively endure an evil assault upon your person?

I canít speak for everyone but we never passively endured their evil. It is more likely the evil has tricked them to think any number of things such as it is useless fight, this is love, I am helping you . . . Or the evil gives the person intense uncontrollable fear so they are too scared to fight, or the evil hides with alters so to be undetected, or the evil clouds your thinking so you canít remember or think clearly to call out to Jesus. or the evil controlled their body so they cannot move and they feel scared and helpless.

We must understand that authority has nothing to do with how vibrant we feel.

Yes, but this is easier said than done. It really helped us that you and the group reminded us over and over again. We seem to forget.

My pastor says the devil especially attracts Christians who are living right because he doesn't want them to have success he is afraid of what the person is doing for the kingdom of God.

Thanks for the message Grantley. We really liked it. We are trying hard to believe that we have power and authority and the devil is scared.

Anne and Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

temptation is only one of their many tools.

Yes, although other methods are still essentially temptation Ė the temptation to believe the tricks of demons rather than believe God.

Keeping all alters praying as much as they need, can be a very challenging task.

Yes, but prayer need not be dull. Staying close to Jesus, having lighthearted fun with him, hugging him, building your awareness of his great love for you, enjoying him, listening to him, asking him about the keys to victory in spiritual warfare, can all be very enjoyable and are all that are needed.

It really helped us that you and the group reminded us over and over again. We seem to forget.

The fogging of oneís thinking is a particularly insidious demonic weapon, but demons always play dirty.

we are trying hard to believe that we have power and authority and the devil is scared.

The time will come when you with know this truth in every fiber of your being because you would have seen it so often, but until then, holding on in faith is quite a struggle though so very important.

Bless you, my friends!

Grantley

* * *

Day 38

[From Honest]

We have grown very much, you know. You taught us that we can be free from the evil father, and how we can do it too. We canít thank you enough so we will just say, MUCOUS GRACIOUS GRANTLEY!! :) :) :)

Honest

* * *

We skip almost 30 days to an important issue that Honest raises

Day 67

[From Honest]

Grantley, do you ever get sick of me having so many questions?? I just have one question, I promise.

Jesus comes to me when I act brave and ask him to be with me, and I really want him to be with me with all of my heart. Then he will come be with me but he never stays forever.

He always comes to me, he makes me feel safe and loved, and he talks to me and gives me help. Then he leaves so I have to think about what he told me. He doesnít stay with me all the time. Does he stay with you all of the time? I wish he did for me, too, because I never feel scared or alone or less than brave when he is with me. He takes it all away like magic.

No more questions.

Bye, Grantley.

* * *

[From Grantley]

You wrote:

do you ever get sick of me having so many questions??

Not at all, my friend.

I just have one question, I promise.

Ask as often as you wish.

Jesus . . . doesnít stay with me all the time.

Jesus is always with you. He lives inside you. Itís just that sometimes he makes his presence seem very real to you.

does he stay with you all of the time?

He doesnít ever visit me like he visits you. He does this for you so that you will know that he is real but he wants us all to get to the point where we live by faith i.e. that we believe he is always present and always hears our prayers etc. even when we do not see or feel or hear him.

Can you understand this?

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

Day 68

[From Honest]

Grantley, you wrote:

Can you understand this?

Yes I can. Thank you, Grantley.

Have a great day,

Honest

Jesus, thank you for being with me and showing me that you are real. I love when you come and be with me. It makes me feel very good inside. I wish you can always be with me but I understand that I need to have faith and trust in my heart that you will always be with me even if I cannot see you. Thank you for putting Grantley, Ian, and Mary, and the rest of this great group in my life. We very much appreciate them all. One day when the time is right, I hope you will be with Grantley in the same way you visit me because I know he will be speechless with joy to see you and it will help him to help other people too. You put the amazing in this amazing world, and we love you very much Jesus. Amen

Honest

* * *

[From Grantley]

Honest, perhaps you noticed that my email to you spoke to Maryís alter, Enchanted. Just in case you missed it, she wrote:

    Grantley, I read an email you wrote to Honest and you said:

    He doesnít ever visit me like he visits you. He does this for you so that you will know that he is real but he wants us all to get to the point where we live by faith i.e. that we believe he is always present and always hears our prayers etc. even when we do not see or feel or hear him.

    Grantley, I donít understand that at all, but I think it has happened to me. I used to see Jesus everywhere and feel him all the time. Punk and I used to play games with him all the time. And now, Punk says sheís merged with me and I donít see, hear or feel Jesus or Punk anymore.

    It makes me very sad and lonely. And Iím scared a lot.

    I know that what I experienced with Jesus playing with me was real. And being able to crawl up in his lap helped me to feel better lots of times. But I havenít seen him much at all lately. And I want him back like things were before.

    It makes me feel like I have been bad or naughty or something. I know I have been naughty sometimes and Iím sorry about that.

    Grantley, why does all this have to be so hard? If itís okay for me to be a little girl, then why doesnít Jesus stay with me like he would any other little girl? How does a little girl have faith?

    Mary says we have to go.

    Thanks for being my friend, Grantley.

    Enchanted

-----------

And I replied:

    Jesus is still with you and still hears your prayers, so keep talking to him.

    I know that what I experienced with Jesus playing with me was real.

    Yes, it was and this was to reassure you that Jesus is very real and that he deeply loves you.

    I know I have been naughty sometimes and Iím sorry about that.

    I think you have tried hard to do the right thing and in any case whenever we tell Jesus we are sorry, he forgives us.

    why doesnít Jesus stay with me like he would any other little girl?

    He does stay with you. It is just that sometimes this is easier for you to believe this than at other times.

    How does a little girl have faith?

    Easy. It is usually easier for children than for adults, actually.

    The Lord knows there are times when feelings are not reliable and that we need to stand strong when we canít see and feel. So God is kindly giving you this opportunity to grow strong in faith so that you will stand when things get tough. We canít learn to live by faith without having these times. During those times we FEEL as if we are getting weaker but these times actually cause us to grow stronger. As I have written:

    In the gloom, qualities like faith, grit, and dedication, are stretched to limits we have never before reached. Yet life seems so oppressive we are oblivious to our triumphs.

    In pristine conditions eyes of faith can see forever. When storms close in, it is a mammoth task for those same eyes to even slightly pierce the swirling murk. It is the conditions, not you, that have deteriorated. Contrary to every feeling, you are not regressing.

    Though offered with the best intentions, much sentimental waffle is sometimes uttered about returning to oneís Ďfirst loveí, as if the starry-eyed euphoria of new Christians is greater than the mature depths of your average older Christian. Poppycock! Most spiritual honeymooners are radiant primarily because they think they have entered a blissful world of near-perfect Christians, instant answers to selfish prayers and a life forever free from pain, heartache and trials. Theirs is most likely mere puppy love, relative to the ardor moving you to tough it out.

    Never confuse devotion with emotion. Though Iím all for emotional exuberance, the Bible measures love, not in tingles per second, but in putting oneís life on the line. (1 John 3:16-18) Itís pain endured in the valley, not gooey feelings in the afterglow of mountaintop ecstasy, that validates love. By all means, passionately seek the face of God, but donít assume that emotional deadness Ė a normal phase of anyoneís spiritual life Ė implies spiritual deadness. We march by faith, not by warm fuzzies.

    An athlete, in the midst of a record-breaking run, has never in his life been so fit and strong. Yet his pain-racked body may have never felt so weak. Likewise, in the midst of a spiritual trial, it is not uncommon to be stronger and yet feel weaker than ever before. And to fellow Christians you might seem hopeless. An ultra-marathon champion staggering up the final hill looks pathetic. A child could do better. Anyone not understanding what this man has gone through would shrink from him in disgust. Only someone with all the facts would be awed by his stamina as he stumbles on.

Honest, you wrote:

Jesus thank you for being with me and showing me that you are real. I love when you come and be with me. It makes me feel very good inside. I wish you can always be with me but I understand that I need to have faith and trust in my heart that you will always be with me even if I cannot see you.

Your prayer was so beautiful, Honest! You are really growing spiritually!

The only power evil has ever had over people was their sin, which caused them to be separated from the only One powerful enough to protect them spiritually Ė God. But Jesus hung in your place, taking all the punishment you deserve for your sins. Now that you realize that the penalty of sin has been fully paid, the powers of darkness have no more claim over you.

One way of looking at it is that it is as if you had been kidnapped and enslaved by the powers of darkness but Jesus has paid the ransom to free you Ė and the payment was Jesusí very life! Another way of looking at it is that, like all of us, you were hopelessly in debt to evil and because of this it could order you around, but now that the debt has been fully paid by Jesus, the powers of evil have no more claim on you.

The challenge, however, is that evil plays dirty. Even though demons have no right to order you around, they will try to cheat and trick you and act by bluff, as if they had the right to control you. You need to stand up to them and refuse to let them dominate you. They wonít like it and they will try to act tough and use all sorts of threats but the truth is that they have no hold on you because, through spiritual union with the holy Son of God, you belong to Almighty God. So they have no right to touch you, and they know it, but YOU need to know it, too, so that you can enforce your rights.

Your friend,

Grantley

* * *

© 2011, Grantley Morris. May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.net  Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.


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