Healing of Memories or
Healing from Bad Memories?


Help When You

Do Not Want to Remember

Help With Unwanted Memories

By Grantley Morris


Suppressed Memories


Unwanted Memories

A woman approached me with a prayer request: “I want to heal without recalling all of the memories.”

Ironically – but not surprisingly – this woman suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities), the very cause of which is not wanting to remember traumatic events. So her prayer request makes as much sense as praying, “Lord, I don’t want to be separated from my husband but I want nothing more to do with him.” Some things are logical impossibilities – absurdities that not even God can do.

This webpage is not for those with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many people have this condition without realizing it, but if you know you have it, please immediately go to a page that includes everything below and much more of special relevance to D.I.D: How to Speed Healing.

We all understand where this dear woman is coming from. Suppressed memories can return with a vengeance in the form of flashbacks that are as vivid and traumatic as the original horror. No one would want that. We need deliverance from all guilt, fear and torment associated with memories, but this is not the same as losing those memories.

What this woman has not yet grasped is that her continued inability to remember unpleasant events would actually be a tragedy, not a blessing. There are several sides to this, so it will take a few paragraphs to explain.

To run from memories would be to cave into false feelings of shame, fear or inability to cope. It would be to languish in needless defeat. That’s not God’s plan for you. Christ took all your shame, blame and pain, bearing it all in his own naked, tortured body so that you can lift your head high. Through Christ, you are a winner; not one who runs away, but a hero clothed with divine majesty in God’s royal family.

Our walk with Christ is about love, adventure and glory. It’s not about escapism, wasting one’s life and trashing opportunities for greatness. It has no partnership with cowardice and the eternal regret it brings. We might be born failures but through Christ we are transformed; born anew for achievement, heroism and honor. God has astounding faith in what you can do empowered by him. You are called to jettison shame, defeatism and self-indulgence to enter into holy union with the all-powerful Conqueror and, thus endowed, to reign with him in regal splendor:

    2 Timothy 2:12 If we suffer, we shall also reign with him . . . (KJV).

    Romans 8:17  . . . we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

    Revelation 3:2 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

Don’t dare dishonor the Lord of glory by thinking this is beyond you. For Christ, who has invested the last drop of his blood into ensuring your success, impossibilities are playthings. You are one with the Almighty Lord. You are in him and he is in you; melded together in the most thrilling of unions.

Furthermore, even if full healing without recovery of memories were neither irrational, nor a needless defeat, it would render much of your past agony a useless waste. You are passionately loved of God; the darling of his heart. He is far too devoted to you to want you to undergo such a tragic loss. Instead, his plan is to transform your past suffering into something that exalts you to eternal heights of glory like nothing else could ever achieve. His goal is not to destroy your memories but to heal your memories so that they no longer distress you and so that your past suffering becomes something uniquely valuable. Remembering your past will not only enable you to better comprehend the love of God but will equip you with the ability to minister with unique experience and conviction to other hurting people. This is the path to eternal glory.

Astoundingly, not even the Eternal Son of God, the Infinite Lord of Glory, could be granted the authority to fulfill the exalted role of Ultimate High Priest without his familiarity with, and memory of, his own suffering (for a short explanation, see The Unexpected Value of Ugly Memories).

Someone who finds study highly taxing devotes year after arduous year to medical studies. Finally he qualifies as a doctor. Now all the hard work is behind him and at last he can truly help people, save lives and reap all the benefits of his study. Can you imagine him rendering all his efforts a useless waste by praying to forget everything he has learnt?

We don’t need more self-proclaimed experts who trample on other people’s feelings; arrogant theorizers exposing themselves to the wrath of God by ignorantly thinking they are helping when they are devastating people who are already writhing in inner agony. The world is filled with – in fact has had its fill of – such people. What are as rare as diamonds, however, are people who truly understand; people whose advice does not come from a book or vain imagination but from genuine experience; leaders who, like Jesus, can say, “I’ve been there – follow me.” You’ve endured what it takes to qualify as one of those rare and valued people who truly know. Now, with almost all the sweat and tears behind you, will you throw it all away by praying to forget it all?

The great apostle Paul seems to have suffered no loss of memory when reeling off the precise number and ways in which he was tortured:

    2 Corinthians 11:24-25 Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea . . .

In fact, he seems to have seen his suffering as something to boast about:

    2 Corinthians 11:23, 12:1 Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. . . . I must go on boasting. . . .


Thanks for the Memories?

We should look to God for guilt, shame and fear to end. They can become attached to memories and become sources of inner pain and enemies of peace and fulfillment. When these negatives are removed, however, even the most unpleasant memories become blessings empowering us for greatness.


Related Pages

Living in Denial: A Christian Perspective

Help With Ugly Memories & Flashbacks

Comfort, Understanding & Healing for Abuse Survivors

Personalized support
Grantley Morris: healing@net-burst.net

© 2012, Grantley Morris.  May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage.  Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.net  Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.

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