Why I Love My Insiders (Alters)

Healing testimony for Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) victims and everyone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.)

By Grantley Morris











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The woman Iíll call Alice who shares her testimony below obviously has multiple personalities. Although she suffered prolonged sexual abuse she was not subjected to Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). Nevertheless, her love for her insiders (also known as alters or parts Ė I particularly like the latter term) is an inspiration to everyone, regardless of whether the insiders were formed through Satanic Ritual Abuse, Sexual Ritual Abuse or any other means.

If you have alters, they are likely to be bitter, angry and nasty until your love begins to soothe their hurts and isolation. In the early stages of their healing, alters are usually hard to love and yet they desperately need your love as a key factor in transforming them into your most delightful friends. Alice has gone through this process with each of nearly forty alters and is now enjoying the rich benefits.

Grantley Morris

I wouldnít trade any of my insiders for a million dollars. Each one is a part of me that I had once lost. I am thrilled to be reunited with them. Now that we function together I can do many things that I hadnít been able to do. Through getting to know and love my insiders, I not only have joy, peace and contentment like never before, my skills and intellectual capacity have increased. And even before I discovered my insiders I was intellectually above average.

For me, the hardest part about having insiders is that the average person, having had little or no experience of insiders, finds the whole thing hard to understand and often has totally bizarre ideas about Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Once a person becomes familiar with Dissociative Identity Disorder, however, it becomes as normal as the fact that one personís body has many parts Ė arms, legs, hair, kidneys, and so on. Insiders are simply parts of one personís mind. They can work together, just like different parts of our bodies work together to accomplish things.

The relationship each insider has developed with God has brought God alive to me in so many ways. Now, instead of feeling alone, I have God and my insiders. I get lots of love and hugs and encouragement from my insiders and often they clown around in delightful ways that make me smile.

People speak of the importance of stopping to smell the roses. This hints at one of the precious gifts my young alters bring. They look at things with childlike wonder and take delight in simple things adults are too jaded to treasure.

An insider who is hurting is simply a wounded part of a person. Just as a broken leg isnít any less a part of you because it is injured, neither is an insider. And just as a broken leg is not something to be ashamed of, but deserves extra care, so it is with a wounded insider. When a broken leg heals you can be as strong as ever, but when an insider heals you can be stronger than you have ever been.

Healing is a process. Just as there are times when physical therapy is needed for a wounded leg, so emotional therapy is needed for a wounded insider.

Dreams, nightmares and flashbacks are often the mindís ways of flushing things out. Our body must get rid of waste or weíd die. It is not always a pleasant experience, but itís a fact of life. Likewise, to keep secrets festering deep within us is emotionally dangerous. They need to surface. Dreams, nightmares and flashbacks usually alert every part of the mind to something that just one part of the mind had been unsuccessfully trying to cope with. When the entire mind is involved, the resources available to resolve the problem are multiplied. Once alerted to the problem, the spiritual parts of a person can involve God in the healing, the adult parts can bring human wisdom, and the hurting part is no longer isolated, cut off from the love and understanding of the rest of the person.

Once we refuse to be intimidated by fear and we allow our insiders to express themselves, they can heal. Would you yell at your broken leg and call it insane for being in pain? No, you understand that pain is there to tell you that you need to deal with the broken leg. Do you then ignore the pain and cause further damage? No. You understand that there are temporary restrictions and you respect them while the leg heals. So it is for insiders. For example, when my insiders were still hurting I had to give up almost all television. Iím stronger now, but for quite a while various things shown on television triggered distressing memories and so hindered my healing.

What is hardest is getting past the fear of having insiders and the fear of letting them express themselves. But now that I have pushed through that needless fear, I canít begin to describe the joy that my insiders Ė thirty-eight of them, last count Ė bring me. Usually when I gather them around me it is a time of healing and giggling. Watching God interact and play with the younger insiders has brought me closer to God and caused to me to see his love of the human soul in ways I would have never known without insiders.

God isnít conventional. He resists human attempts to put him in a box and brand him. So do insiders. Iím not going to be held back by narrow minded people who donít understand insiders. I am not afraid to break human conventions that enslave the human soul. And neither is God.

For many more exciting, helpful and uplifting webpages about D.I.D. see Christian Resources: Index of Help for Dissociative Identity Disorder

Related Pages

For much more insight and help, see:
Christian Resources: Index of Help for Dissociative Identity Disorder


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Grantley Morris: healing@net-burst.net

© 2008, Grantley Morris. May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.net  Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.


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