To understand this webpage you will need to read Dissociative Identity Disorder & Unwanted Sexual Cravings. Even after reading this necessary and fairly safe introduction, however, it is vital that you seriously pray about whether you should read the following. Although you could find it very helpful, not only is some of the material sexually explicit, some alters will find it upsetting and some might be tempted by it to want dangerously wrong things.

I am loathed to publish this webpage because some of what this alter wrote is utterly contrary to who I am. No matter how much we might think ourselves above her language and views, however, it is a fact of life that, given enough exposure and brainwashing, the sweetest impressionable little children, and one or more young, fragile alters of the most beautiful and moral Christians, will eventually absorb their abusers’ appalling values. Until you are able to read such offensive material, you are not ready to be a counselor nor, perhaps, to face (and hence bring healing to) some of your own alters.

This most certainly does not mean, however, that you should try to force the pace to reach this point. Nor does it mean you will ever need to read it. You might not be called to be a counselor after all, or you might not have such an alter within you.

For many of us, the issues and language used in this webpage must be faced some day – and procrastinating could prove dangerous – but only God knows if now is the right time. So you will need to consult him.

Of course, sexual sin is wrong, not merely because the law labels some of it a crime. I emphasized the legal implications when writing to Jessie, however, because it seemed the quickest way of initially persuading her not to fulfill her lusts.

This webpage is long. I was tempted to shorten it but I think you will find it helpful to see just how much dialog was required and how important it is not to give up. Breakthroughs will come, provided one lovingly persists.

toward the end of this webpage, a sudden twist occurs as another alter appears who reveals the satanic dimension to all of this.

The leader of the satanic cult that abused her insisted that his victims call him the priest. It was not a title given to him by a legitimate church.

Everything I told Jessie was, of course, true and based on information gleaned from my months of interaction with Violet and her alters.

Text from Violet and her alters is dark blue. My responses are in black. Occasionally I add comments to the text, indicated by the use of italics inside square brackets. [ Example. ]

For anyone with a poor memory for names, I will also sometimes use this system to provide a brief reminder of who a previously mentioned alter is when she re-enters the text after a significant gap.

[ Violet was engaged in her favorite activity – minding children she had known since they were babies. She had obeyed the Lord’s direction to cut down on this so that she could focus on healing. So that made this occasion particularly special.

It was hot. The children played with water and eventually needed to be changed into dry clothes. Soon after, Jessie, an alter I had had little previous communication with emailed me. She wrote: ]

Today we saw kids all day. Some of them took off their clothes. It was so nice to see their genitals and one of them was a girl. She was beautiful. I just wanted to take my hand and put it between her legs. The feel of their genitals makes me happy.

I wish I could have stroked the boy’s gentitals again and again. He would have really liked it. It feels really good. I loved to see their naked bodies. But Momma [ the alters’ name for the host, Violet ] wouldn’t let me touch them.

If I told her about what I wanted to do she wouldn’t even let me look at them. I just wanted to see them and their sweet naked bodies. I wanted to touch them and feel them. I wanted to let them feel me, too, and put their tiny hands right on my genitals! It would have felt so very good. My body wants them right now. I bet I could fit their hand up inside me. Oh man, that would feel so very good! But Momma wouldn’t even let me think this way.

Now our body wants to feel their hand but we can’t because Momma is being unfair. They run around with their delicious naked bodies and I cannot touch them. They should be punished for such behavior. I know just the punishment too! You wanna hear the punishment? It’ll be good! Might even make you get a little rise out of it. Then you could rub yourself. You would like that wouldn’t you?

I’ll tell you about the punishment, okay? I would take a broom handle and let them ride the handle. I’d shove in and out and in and out her tiny body. And for the boy I could use the vacuum cleaner. It might give his little peanut of genital a bit of a hickey but boy would he get a rise out of it.

I bet you are aroused. Feel free to relieve yourself. I’ll watch if you want.

My Response

No, dear friend, I don’t find any of what you said even slightly arousing. What you are talking about is disgusting.

It is so very important that you never do any of this. If you did, you could very well be put in jail for years and years, and even when you eventually get out you would never be allowed to get close to a child again. It is HIGHLY illegal, and very damaging to the children.

You must not even look at children in that way. You are in the body of an adult, and adults get into serious trouble for doing such things.

You can be very, very thankful for Momma’s intervention. It is extremely important that you fully cooperate with her in this. You must not touch them sexually, nor in any way punish them. To do any of that is to be a bad person.

Jessie Wrote

I hate you guys! I hate, hate, hate you! [ Notice how much of a little child she is. ] I want to have my fun! I want to feel their warm naked body against mine! Why are you stopping me?! I’m doing, a good thing?! It’s a thing I want! It’s a thing they need. Every child needs the touch. How will they ever learn to please people if they never learn how to enjoy the wonderful feel of naked bodies pressed close. Naked bodies aroused and lusting after each other. My body aches for the touch of their small hands. Maybe two at a time! Please! Please can I have it. They need to learn and I need to be filled. My lust needs to be poured out! Pouring my desire on them would solve both problems!

My reply

We want you to have fun, too, and being sentenced to years in jail would most certainly not be fun. We could not stop police from doing this if you did such a thing, and we want to keep you safe.

It’s not something they need. It would do them great harm, dear friend.

“How will they ever learn?” you ask. Children are NEVER meant to act that way and if they learned to do it, they, too, would end up in serious trouble with the police as they get older.

It is extremely important that you understand just how serious this is. Otherwise you could ruin your life and that of Momma and everyone else. You are in a totally different situation to what you used to be in and such behavior is no longer tolerated but will come under police scrutiny.

With deep concern,

Grantley

[ Another of Violet’s alters, Olive, wrote to me about some unrelated things that had been upsetting Violet and other alters. In my reply I added: ]

I’m far more alarmed by parts who feel strongly tempted to sexually molest children. Jessie has just sent me a very disturbing email but I know that she will quickly heal like the others have.

Olive Wrote Back

Uncle Grantley, she will NEVER be allowed to do any of those things around me. I would sooner kill this body than allow that. It WILL NOT happen. Not ever. They are far more important to me than my own life. I would easily die before I let them get hurt the way I was hurt. It would be bad either ways but I think my death would be easier to take than the scar that Jessie would leave on those children. It will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER happen. She’ll just have to get used to it until she heals! I stay away from her because it makes me angry and VERY protective of these children to hear someone talk that way. Don’t worry. It. Will. NEVER. Happen.

Jessie Wrote

It doesn’t hurt kids it helps them. It helped me!

We have genitals to have fun and fill up our lusts. Why would we ever get in trouble for doing something so good?

It doesn’t matter anyways. No one would ever let me have the fun I used to have. I taught a lot of kids to enjoy naked bodies. [ She is referring to when she was a child. ] No one got hurt. I’m not hurt. Why do you think this is so wrong?

My Response

[ Alarmed by how dangerously resistant to reason Jessie was, I wrote to Hazel, a highly capable alter in Violet who is amazingly skilled at putting safeguards in place to warn when an alter might take over, and prevent him/her from doing so. I wrote to Hazel: ]

Hi, My Friend,

I know you have enough to contend with without this but you need to pray about some system that will protect parts like Jessie from molesting children.

Bless you, Hazel!

Hazel replied

Olive is ALWAYS the one who relates to kids. She is stronger than Jessie and incredibly protective of any child. She is what kept us from doing this to any other child on our watch. She is very, very good protection. She is a fierce protector in her own right. She may be calm and laid back most of the time but if there is the slightest chance of hurting kids she comes out fierce and strong. Injustice toward kids riles her up like nothing else.

I can hook up a warning system so she knows we are interacting with kids. Any part that tries anything remotely wrong will have hell to pay from her. When she is on a roll nothing stands in her way.

Violet is persistent and fearless when it comes to healing. She would stop at nothing to make healing happen. She is a fierce warrior but she is nothing compared to Olive when a child is threatened.

I’m pretty sure she could stop even me from taking control if she felt I was hurting a child. She truly is the best protection out there. I’m very sure we will be just fine without it but I’ll put up a warning system just to be sure.

PS: I hope you got that impression from the email she sent you back. That suicide threat is a serious thing that we all agreed on together about two years into recovery. It is a commitment that stands today. Trust me: we will be dead first.

My Reply to Hazel

I’m glad about Olive. It seems a lot of responsibility for just one of you, however. What if she were exhausted?

Your warning system sounds good. Is everything in place to stop a part from ever sneaking out while everyone is asleep or whatever, and finding a victim? Is this utterly foolproof? I’m not just worried about children, I’m concerned that you could end up in jail if a mistake happened.

From Hazel

Today, Violet had just three hours of restless sleep. Olive had all the sleep she needed because she knew she was going to be with kids. We are very careful when it comes to kids. However, I understand your concern. I guess I could add an alarm that warns someone on the TEAM when there is a part awake when everyone should be asleep. [ TEAM stands for Teaching, Encouragement, Assimilation (helping alters relate well with each other) and Ministry. A different alter in Violet is in charge of each responsibility. ]

I replied

Good. As you are so well aware, this is critically important and as many safeguards as possible need to be in place to make this absolutely foolproof. I suggest you also talk to Jesus about it.

To Jessie, I Wrote

You said, “It doesn’t hurt kids it helps them. It helped me!”

It didn’t help you, dear friend. You are now teetering on the edge of becoming a criminal.

Despite what you think, it is evil, not good, and there are very strong laws against it.

You should talk to other alters in your inner world about all the damage it did to them. You are currently unaware of it.

From Jessie

The other alters are just complainers. It’s hard at first but I got to learn how to teach kids what to do to make themselves and others feel better. The other alters just didn’t have the guts to stick it out. I did.

It’s not bad! Why do they make laws against something that kids need to learn?

My reply

It breaks my heart to hear you call the other alters complainers. You didn’t “stick it out,” dear friend. They took almost all the pain and torment upon themselves so you would not have to suffer it. You owe them so very much and don’t even realize it.

No child should ever have to learn what you are describing. If it weren’t for people doing bad things like you want to do, they would be totally safe and never experience bad things.

From Jessie

I’m confused. You say it’s bad, but WHY is it bad? Isn’t it what all kids have to learn?

You said the other alters “took almost all the pain and torment upon themselves so you would not have to suffer it.”

They didn’t go through the training. I did. The priest and his friends showed me how to do it on my body. They showed me what to do to others’ bodies. It was hard training. I felt really dirty at first but then I understood. All kids need to learn these skills. That’s why I practiced teaching the little ones at church. [ All such references are to when Violet was a child. ]

How else can they learn to fill their own lusts and that of the little ones around them? My body was full of longing before the training. I was nothing other than a pile of sensual desire. I was the fortunate one who learned how to quench it. Is it bad to quench the burning in my pussy?

My Reply

It hurts children far, far more than you realize. As I said, other parts of you have shielded you from being aware of the bad stuff. They kindly did that to protect you, but because they know how awful it is they are so desperate to never be involved in causing a child to suffer it that they would literally kill themselves, and you, rather than allow you to do it to a child. Of all criminals, those who do this to children are considered the very worst. Even in jail other prisoners treat them horrifically. Other criminals – even murderers – consider themselves to be far better than those who do that to children. [ I wrote this not because I believe in such hypocrisy but in an attempt to help her see what danger she would be putting herself in if she chose to molest a child. ]

Saying, “Isn’t it what all kids have to learn?” is like saying, shouldn’t all kids have to learn what it is like to be at war and kill and be in danger of being killed? No. Children should be protected from such things.

You said the priest and his friends showed you how to do it on your own body but that is different to doing it to other children. Ask those who suffered it. [ As explained in Should Christians Masturbate? self-administered sexual stimulation is an addiction that inflames and perverts one’s sexuality. For Jessie, one of the effects was to lessen awareness of the damage that molesting someone inflicts on the victim. ] You were right to feel dirty. What you did was very dirty and disgusting. You claimed you then “understood” but you were lied to by child-abusing criminals.

Then how do they learn to fill their own lusts and that of the little ones around them?

Just as children shouldn’t kill people, so they shouldn’t “learn to fill their own lusts and that of the little ones around them.”

You were “nothing other than a pile of sensual desire”? Yes, you were a hopeless addict, just like a wino or junkie. You were born for far better than that, dear one. You were born to be honored and respected and a master of your desires, not a slave to them.

Yes, it is bad to quench your burning that way.

Jessie Wrote

The other alters say what happened to them made them be afraid of men, or to want men too much. [ That is, craving to have sex with them. ]

I remember being afraid of the priest and his wife because they taught me to relieve my pussy of all the pent up angst. But then I realized that I would forever feel the desire unless I let someone give my genitals a good massage or for them to scratch the itch inside me. I was so grateful when they finally taught me to do it to myself.

Sure, all the kids will feel dirty and afraid at first. But it’s only at first. Then it just gets better and better. No one needs to be afraid of men. Especially when we can fill each other’s desire. I just want the kids to know about all this.

You wrote, “They kindly did that to protect you but because they know how awful it is they are so desperate to never be involved in causing a child to suffer it that they would literally kill themselves and you rather than allow you to do it to a child.”

Really! Sheesh! They are giant chickens!

What you said about how prisoners treat these people is horrible. All those nice people trying to educate children in their roles and duties as a person and they treat them like that!

Killing is bad. Licking a girl is good. Sucking a boy is good.

“Ask those who suffered it?” I did. They just left training before they got to the good part. They were all fools.

What lie did the priest and his friends tell me? They were nice to me! They taught me the waterfall. All I do is sit in a bathtub and let the water pour right on my genitals. The first time they showed me that I had an orgasm that made me scream. It felt so very good! My genitals pulsed as did the rest of my body! I will always remember the power of that orgasm. I would suck and fuck a million men to feel that one again. I wish all children knew the beauty of a short hard orgasm. That’s why I want to help them. Oh, the tiny girl’s gentitals are making me wet! Not to mention the boy’s!

I was “born for far better”? What could possibly be better than a man to ride and a good muffin munch?

I’m the master of my gentitals. I quench its fire when I want. Violet won’t let me touch ours. I don’t know why she is being such a @#!% ass. A good butt @#!% would set her right! Wanna help?

I replied

You call them chickens? If they are so weak, how come they are stronger than you and stop you from getting your evil way?

Have a look at the following. [ I provided a number of links to webpages condemning pedophiles, including police reports. ] There are thousands of such webpages on the Internet. They show how ordinary people think of those who touch children sexually and how dangerous it is to do it because of the legal consequences.

Sunshine (Another Alter) Wrote

I am so tired of having our body full of the need for sex. Jessie is being so disrespectful of our pain. She asked us about what being raped and molested did to us and, when we answered her she mocked us for being too weak. Some of us want to kick her out of our inner world. The others think she will come around. All of us want her to stop mocking us. Uncle Grantley. I’m hurt and angry.

My Reply to Sunshine

I very much understand how distressing it is for you. I feel for you.

Jessie has been tricked and brainwashed. It is very sad for her and for the rest of you and we need to pray for her and help her see the truth. I’m working hard on this.

She’s mistaken. There is no need to believe anything she says. I have pointed out to her that others are clearly stronger than her, not weaker, because they prevent her from doing what she wants.

I understand you feeling hurt and angry, dear one, and I’m praying that it end soon.

Hazel Wrote

[ Hazel is the mature alter skilled at organizing the alters’ inner world, including memories of past events, establishing internal alarm systems, etc. ]

What am I going to do with Jessie? She walks around our inner world mocking the “weakness” the others showed by being raped and molested. They have good reason to be angry at this point. Violet’s tried talking to her. I’ve done the same. We are beginning to be worried about inside littles.

Jesus has asked me to displace her from our inner world. She will be able to attend activities but will be unable to interact with anyone except those on the TEAM. I feel bad for her because she is going to have a hard crash when she learns about the lies she’s been told. She is very attached to the priest. Remember how Sara [ another alter ] wanted Jesus to help her “feel better”. This isn’t quite the same with Jessie. She has some kind of emotional attachment behind this. Sara’s was mainly a sexual attachment.

Also, we debated leaving Olive off the list of people Jessie can interact with. She gets utterly irate at things like this. Jesus said to leave her on the list though. So we have. Violet and I have talked to Olive about the necessity of controlling her temper in this area. Would you talk to her about this too? I don’t think you’ve ever met this side of Olive. Believe me when I say Olive has an explosive anger when children are threatened.

I Replied to Hazel

It’s heartbreaking to see how brainwashed Jessie is. There will be a way to help her see the truth. We just have to find it.

Jesus always knows what is best. You are always safe when he is guiding you.

Convincing Jessie that it is 2016 and that the priest abandoned her might help.

To Olive I Wrote

[ Olive is the alter who is fiercely protective of children. ]

Hi, Dear friend!

I praise God for you! I am so grateful that you are incredibly strong and determined to protect children. We need you so much.

Hazel said that they were wondering about leaving you off the list of people Jessie can interact with but Jesus believes in you and asked for you to be left on it.

I understand how infuriating it is interact with Jessie. We need to remember, however, that other parts also did atrocious things and have now dramatically changed. Jessie has been very cruelly brainwashed and needs our compassionate help to see the truth. She thinks that others are weak by not wanting to abuse children but the way you demonstrate how much stronger than her you are (by preventing her from doing what she wants) is surely contributing to exposing some of the lies.

I appreciate you so much, dear friend, and I feel for you in this situation. It must be tearing you apart. You ARE strong, however, and Jesus believes in your strength, so I know that, like him, you will control your anger so that Jessie is helped.

Bless you, my friend!

Violet Wrote

Jessie started talking to me and asked me about my sexual experiences and asked why I refrain. I explained to her that sex outside of marriage makes me dirty. That makes me less desirable to the kind of men I want to have in my life. It especially makes me dirty in front of Jesus and He is the most important Person in my life.

Jessie put her hands on me with the intent to give me an orgasm. I moved her hand away and said, “I don’t want that.”

She said, “But your pussy does. I can help you with that. It might be hard at first but it will get better. I promise. You’ll really like it.” Then she put her hand back between my legs.

I pulled her hand away and said, “I don’t want that. My body might want it but Jesus is more important than my body. It would break my heart to disobey Him. If you choose to put your hand between my legs or guide my hand to between your legs I will have to walk away from you.”

She did it again.

I put her down and said to her, “I asked you not to do that to me again and now you have. I will talk to you again when you have given me a firm commitment to never touch me like that again. It makes me feel dirty and causes my body to have a longing I don’t want it to have.” Then I walked away.

She was stunned to silence. She tried to get my attention using sex again a few times but I just blocked her out. I’m not sure I did the right thing but I made a commitment to Jesus and she was sending me down the road toward masturbation. I can’t stay there with that much temptation. Honestly, it’s been really rough with her active. I’ve been staying in public places because of this problem.

I Replied

I honor you for all that you do, dear one. This must be so hard for you.

I totally believe you did the right thing.

I very much understand how hard this is for you, Sis. I feel for you.

Jessie Wrote

Now I’m not allowed to talk to anyone except those adult people and they are the ones who did this to me. They don't like me very much. Why are they doing this?

My Reply

As I have tried to explain, dear friend, they are doing this to protect YOU. If you did what you want, you would end up in prison for a very long time. The others could completely kick you out of the special place in their inner world they have created, but they are being kind to you. It is not right that you repay their kindness by mocking them.

Do you know that it is now the 21st Century? The year is 2016 and the priest abandoned you many years ago. He moved on to others. No one knows where he is now but he is probably dead or in prison.

Jessie’s Response

No. No, no, no . . .No. The priest wouldn’t do that to me. Not ever. He said he will always take care of me. Every day he would line me and the other kids up. Then he’d tell us how we did. Some of them did horrible but I was always right. I was the strongest. He chose me all the time! I was his best student. He wished I was his daughter! He wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t leave me all alone. He was protecting me. If I’m all alone . . . No, you must be mistaken. Both of you and Momma [ Violet ]. No, no he wouldn’t do that. He loved me. I was strong enough for the training. I was privileged. I was special. No.

I replied

Then where is the priest? He’s been gone for decades.

You said you were the strongest but you obviously aren’t strong. You can’t even get your own way because so many, such as Momma, Olive, Hazel etc., are stronger. The priest lied over and over.

Read those links I gave you about pedophiles.

From Jessie

No. Please no. He wouldn’t leave me. He said he would always be here to protect me. He wouldn’t leave. No....no...no. Please. Please find him. Please. please, please, please. I’m so scared. Please.

Please. I’ll do anything. Just bring him back. I promise I won’t touch anyone anymore. I just need the priest. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Anything you need. I’ll do it. Just give me back to the priest. Please. Please, please.

Violet Wrote

Jessie is absolutely beside herself in terror. I was nearly hyperventilating when she was writing her last e-mail. I’m trying to calm her now. I’m not sure what was going on between the priest and her but for her it’s a big and important thing to have him near.

To Jessie I Wrote

The priest was a liar. I don’t know what you are afraid of, dear one. Please tell me. But most likely your fear is based on his lies not on reality.

You have nothing to fear, dear one. What you would have done to those children should have terrified you because of the consequences but the priest abandoning you is nothing to fear. It is good to be rid of such an evil deceiver.

Jessie Replied

The priest protected me. He protected me from bad guys. The bad guys got me. They beat me up. I had bruises and I broke my arm. So many bruises. Please get the priest back. The bad guys will get me again. Please. I’ll do anything. I don’t want to be hurt again. My ribs hurt. Everything hurts. I don’t want that again. Please bring him back. He loved me and protected me. He was a good guy. I’m sorry I’ll never touch a person again. Please just give me back to him. Do it quick.

My Response

The priest did not protect you from bad guys, dear friend, he WAS a bad guy, and he got his friends to hurt you so that he could pretend to be saving you from them.

The Jesus in your inner world is truly good and safe. He might look to you like the fake Jesus who hurt you but he is totally different. For example, he left just now so that you wouldn’t be frightened. A bad person would delight in you being frightened. Everything is almost the exact opposite of what it currently seems to you. You have been cruelly tricked.

From Violet

Jessie wouldn’t let me touch her. She looked as though she was ready to bolt. So I called Jesus in. Then she nearly choked me by holding on to me so tight. She was horrified at the presence of Jesus and wouldn’t even talk with Him around. Jesus left.

Jessie Wrote

Momma [ Violet ] is okay and safe? She won’t hurt me, right? I don’t want to see Jesus again. I don’t. I just want to be safe. Bad guys don’t protect. The priest protected me. Now he’s gone who will protect me? I’m so scared! Please bring the priest back. Please. Please.

I Replied

Yes, Momma’s absolutely safe and will never hurt you.

There is no one in the universe, however, who is as safe and dependable and can keep you safe like Jesus.

Bad guys PRETEND to protect. Have you heard of protection rackets – when thugs demand that shop owners pay them money in order to protect their properties? If the shop owners pay, they are “protected”. If they don’t pay, the shops get vandalized but it is the so-called protectors who organize the damage. That is like what the priest did for you. He was the one who organized that you be attacked. With him gone, your attackers have also gone, dear friend.

Jessie Wrote

If Momma’s safe, then I’m gonna stay with Momma, alright? I’m gonna stay right with her. Is she big enough to make the bad guys go away? Will she do that for me?

Jesus is too scary. I’m not gonna go near him. I just want to be with Momma since she’s safe.

I saw the priest hurt Jesus. He made Jesus run away. Jesus has always been bad. I’m sorry. He’s just scary.

I Wrote

Why do you think the priest allowed the false Jesus to ever be there? It was because this false Jesus was the priest’s friend. If you doubt this, why not talk to the other parts about this? One of them might have seen something when you were not around.

Jessie Replied

We were in the priest’s office just coloring pictures and Jesus burst in and grabbed the priest by the neck and threw him on the ground. The priest didn’t get up. Then Jesus came and got me. He pushed me on the ground and kicked me again and again. He screamed at me to stand up. So I did. Then he punched me in the stomach and I crashed on the wall. My arm hit on the shelf and it got broken. Then Jesus got on top of me and punched me in the face a lot. That’s when the priest woke up and beat up Jesus, and Jesus ran away.

I can’t talk to all those other people about it. Momma and the others won’t let me. But Momma said to look it up. [ She was referring to the fact that Hazel has set up a system whereby any alter can access any of Violet’s memories plus any memories that other alters have permitted to be added to what they call their video library. It is modelled on a computer system with a sophisticated search function. ] The priest was nice but... I’m just so confused. Everything that’s nice you’re saying is mean and bad and evil. I’m so confused.

Jessie Added Later

Why would the priest trick me like that and then be nice to me? He loved me. He helped me. He showed me all those good things. Why would he need to trick me? I love him.

I Replied

It’s how evil people operate. They deceive and trick people. The best way to trick someone is to pretend to be nice so that they are believed.

And having sex with you is NOT being nice. It was selfishly degrading you and exploiting you.

Jessie Wrote

But sex feels nice. If it feels nice, then it is nice. I don’t understand why you would say it degrades me. I think it’s just the opposite. It makes me more powerful. It makes me safer.

When I can make people feel good they don’t want to hurt me. This is another reason children need to be taught the joys of orgasms. The happier I made the priest the more he protected me. I learned to make him extra happy. The thing that made him the happiest was to see me teach other children.

He said a boy’s organ is like a peanut and a girl’s is like its shell. They are home to each other. Sometimes he took pictures of me giving him a hand job. Or sucking his cock till it exploded on my face. Sometimes he used those pictures to remember the fun time I gave him. Sometimes he took a picture of sticking his organ in my warm, moist part. Or he took a picture of munching my muffin. He treated me with respect and, once I had been trained, he would stop when I said stop. He always took good care of me!

I don’t understand why Momma doesn’t like sex. Why doesn’t she like a good muffin munch? Why does she insist on letting her body be on fire with desire and not allow a man’s fire hose to put it out? Then there is that Olive person. She just glares at me. I’m afraid to talk to her because she hates me with her eyes. Why is she like that? You said everything is the opposite. Is that why she glares at me?

In a Second E-Mail, Jessie Added

Someday I’d like twenty men to shower me in their love juice. They could rub it in. That would feel wonderful. That’s my dream sex. A shower of cum.

Reply

You say it feels nice but so does chocolate-coated poison.

It degrades you because it makes you abuse little children and you wanted to abuse even more and don’t even realize how disgusting that is. That means you have been totally degraded and perverted. Did you read those links I sent you?

Saying it makes you safer is ridiculous. If it were not for the others stopping you, you could be in jail right now being hurt by other prisoners who consider themselves better than someone who molests children. There is nothing safe about that.

To hurt someone (which is what you have done) makes one feel powerful but the truth is that you are so powerless you can’t even control your own lusts. Jesus can change you. You don’t have to be so pathetic but it will only happen if you want it to. Jesus will not force it on you. He is the most powerful person in the universe but he uses it with wisdom and goodness, not to exploit people or get his own way.

Of course it made the priest happy to see you teach other children. He was disgusting and you have learned his filthy ways. You bring shame to every other part of you.

The pictures he took of you are child pornography and for very good reason it carries severe penalties (prison sentences).

Momma doesn’t like your version of sex because you pervert sex and turn it into something disgusting what God intended to be beautiful and to occur only between adults who are totally committed to each other for life.

Olive glares at you because she is fiercely protective of little children, as every decent person is. If they knew what you are currently like you would find that most people in the world would treat you like that.

You are right when you say you are so confused, dear friend. You are like someone who has been taught it is good to torture people. You have been cruelly tricked and I am writing to you because I believe you will eventually understand this and become a good person.

Jessie Wrote

You think I’m a horrible, horrible person. You think I should be locked away with bad guys. You think I am a rotten person. But I am trying to be nice. I’m sorry, I’ll go away.

Reply

If I thought there was no hope for you, I would not be writing to you, dear friend. In order to become a good person, you need to discover how important it is to change your attitude to sexually abusing people, but I am confident that this will happen. You have been cruelly tricked into thinking doing horrible things is good.

I’m so very, very thankful, that you have not been imprisoned, dear one. It would have happened, had it not been for Olive and others protecting you. You owe them a lot.

I believe you when you say you are trying to be nice and I believe IN you.

Please don’t go away, dear friend. We need to work these things through. It will end up bringing you more peace and happiness than you have ever known, and this is what I want for you.

Jessie Wrote

I’m just little. But you hate me. Everything I’ve done and everything I am is evil to you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Later, Jessie Added

You think I have to become a whole new person because I am so horrible to you.

You think I should be locked away with bad guys don’t you?

My Reply

You need not to be a different person but to have a different attitude toward sex.

No, I don’t think you should be locked up. There was talk about removing you from the special place the others have created and I was glad when they decided not to do that. It is important, however, that you not be allowed to touch children sexually. My hope is that you will come to understand this.

Jessie Wrote

I won’t. I promise. I’ll want to. But I won’t. I just wish that people understood that I was being good. I was doing my best to be good. But all my trying to be good is horrible to you guys. And that’s what makes me a horrible person. And very, very sad.

The priest thought I was a good person. But now he’s gone. You guys think I’m bad and now I’m stuck here. I’m so sad. I’m so very sad. I miss the priest. Sometimes when I was scared or felt bad he’d just hug me. He always treated me gently. He never told me I deserved prison. But here everyone is mad at me and everyone thinks I should be in prison. I hate being here. I’m miserable and sad. I miss the priest.

I Wrote

Making the promise you have made is a good start, dear friend.

Yes, you were doing your best to be good but this was by the priest’s standard of goodness, and he was evil.

I’m sure Momma would hug you if you asked, and Jesus would, too.

Not only did the priest never tell you that you deserved prison, I’m sure he also never told you that HE deserved prison.

In reality, you didn’t deserve prison back then because you were little and you had been cruelly tricked by him but if you did anything now, the police would not excuse you because you are now regarded as an adult because you live in an adult body.

You say everyone is mad at you and thinks you should be in prison but they saved you from making a mistake that would have got you and them sent to prison. None of us think you deserve to be in prison but we all know you need to understand that acting this way is bad.

Jessie Wrote

Can I call you Uncle Grantley? I know I was bad and maybe you don’t want me to be your niece. I’m sorry.

Today we went to the mountains and were naked. [ In preparation for eventual marriage, the Lord has been helping Violet accept her body by being naked when safely alone. ] There was a nice breeze and it felt so good on our naked body. Then Sunshine [ the alter who wrote earlier saying how offended she was by Jessie’s sexuality and by her mocking the other alters ] and others started to cry. They asked Momma to put the clothes back on because they were too scared. I asked them why they were scared and they said that bad things happened when they were naked with the priest and others. It hurt them, so now they don’t like being naked because of that. I did those things to other people. Do those people feel that way now?

I’m gonna say something that hurts me so much. I don’t even want to think it. I guess the priest was evil. But I loved him. So it hurts very bad to think of him that way. I know that what he did hurt Sunshine and the others. But I loved him and he treasured me. We had lots of good times. We laughed and played and we had sex and took pictures of our fun. For me it was lots of fun. If I could I’d go back with him. I miss him a lot. I’m sorry I love him. I know no one here likes me because of it. I’m sorry. I hope people can forgive me.

It hurts for me to hear you say things like he deserved prison. I really did love him.

Why did he teach me to do things to get me prison? He loved me, right? He loved me.

I can’t stop crying. I’m sorry for all this. I really am. I didn’t want to hurt people. I’m sorry I love someone you all hate. I’m sorry. I’m just always sorry.

I Replied

I would be delighted for you to call me uncle, dear friend. I care for you deeply. You are very important to me. In fact, I have lost a lot of sleep worrying about you.

Sadly, what you did really did hurt other people. In fact, most people have their entire lives ruined by having such things done to them. Momma, for example, is now fairly old and yet she is still tormented by it. Many people go to their graves tormented by it.

You wrote, “I’m gonna say something that hurts me so much. I don’t even want to think it.” I know it hurts at present, dear friend. but facing the truth will end in joy. It will transform you and make you a good person who will be a huge blessing to other people.

Yes, the priest really was evil. So evil, in fact, that he had demons in him and he gave those demons to some parts of you, but the real Jesus is stronger than demons and he has scared them away.

You say you loved the priest, but you had been cruelly starved of real love. A starving person will, in desperation, even eat rotting food that ends up making them sick and worse than if they had eaten nothing. This is what happened to you.

Yes what he did to Sunshine and the others hurt them stupendously. Unless they share all their memories in detail with you, you will have no idea just how much he hurt so very many parts of you.

You thought he treasured you but unfortunately he didn’t. All the hurt he inflicted on the rest of you proves he didn’t care about you at all. All that he did was to hide from you all the bad things he had done to the rest of you, thus tricking you into thinking he was kind, when he was actually indescribably cruel to you. Moreover, he was training you to hurt innocent little children for him.

We are eager to forgive you, dear friend. We know you were tricked. We just long for you to no longer be tricked and no longer be a danger to innocent children, and you are making very much progress in this.

He taught you things that would get you imprisoned because he was evil. I don’t believe he was capable of loving ANYONE. All he wanted was to hurt people and get his selfish way. If you corrupted other children by sexually abusing them it would give him access to them. His goal was to get you to do the dangerous work for him.

I believe you, dear friend, when you say you didn’t want to hurt people.

The real Jesus can make you totally good and clean and forgive you so that you are innocent in God’s eyes. He loves you so much that he let himself be tortured to death on the cross to receive in his body the full punishment that your sins deserve so that you could get away scot free. It will help you more than anything else could ever achieve for you to get to know him. He is kind and gentle and patient and fun. You have nothing at all to fear from him. I beg you to speak with him. You can take Momma with you and you can ask him to keep his distance, if this will help you feel safer.

Violet Wrote

She is absolutely grieving the loss of the priest. We sat together for ten minutes just wailing at the loss of him. While I understand her feelings, it has a hard time meshing with all of my other feelings. How is it possible to both love and hate someone? Sheesh! [ Violet was powerfully feeling both her own strongly negative feelings toward the priest and Jessie’s strongly positive feelings. ]

My Reply to Violet

I feel for you, dear friend.

Jessie didn’t love the priest. She only “loved” the fake version of himself that he presented to her. She very much needs the unconditional love of everyone else and lots of hugs so that she can begin to understand real love and be weaned off the fake stuff.

I Wrote to Olive [ The alter fiercely protective of children ]

Hi, Dear Friend!

How do you feel about Jessie, now? She is making great progress. What will help her most now and wean her from thinking positively about the priest and his values is if you show her love. She desperately needs everyone’s love and forgiveness but yours would probably be the most powerful because she knows how angry she made you.

What do you think?

Bless you, my friend!

From Olive

Uncle Grantley, I haven’t let my eyes go off of her since she started talking about those children. I haven’t slept because I am watching her. She is not worthy of my trust, therefore, I will not forgive her. I just won’t. She can beg and plead but I will not forgive her. She isn’t safe.

She is going to have to prove that she is worthy of love and forgiveness. She is dangerous even still. I will not let my guard down. I will not let her near children. This is just the end of it.

My Reply to Olive

You are right to not trust her at this stage. She will need to prove herself to be fully repentant, to understand that child abuse is always wrong, and to prove herself able to resist all temptation to abuse.

Forgiving Jessie and trusting her are entirely separate things, dear friend. Forgiveness means you do not let what she has done (or even what she might be capable of) stop you from loving her and being as kind and gentle with her as circumstances allow.

Dear friend, waiting until people prove themselves worthy of love is not right. I did not treat you or any part this way and neither does Jesus. You are called to be like Jesus and he is good and kind to everyone, not because they prove themselves worthy but because he is good and kind. He does not let other people’s failings corrupt him so that he ceases to be good and kind.

I agree with you that it is quite likely that she is still dangerous and I support your stand on not letting your guard down and letting her near children. However, the way to help her change and become trustworthy is for you to show her love and kindness. She was tricked into having a very distorted view of things and for that she deserves compassion. She is grieving the loss of the priest and for that she not only deserves compassion but to receive genuine love so that she will no longer be hungry for the false love the priest offered.

Please talk to Jesus about this, dear one.

Olive Replied

I glare at her because I want her to know how evil she is. She doesn’t need kindness she needs truth. The truth is that she is evil and deserves to be punished.

I’m not Jesus. I’d rather be corrupted than allow that dangerous wench around children. Just the thought of her being anywhere near them causes me to get angry. She is not worthy of contact with any children and I doubt she will ever be. She’s too ruined.

She was not tricked. The priest touched her and she felt dirty. She knew what it was like when she touched all those children. She was not tricked.

It is idiotic to grieve that monster.

I’d prefer not to talk to Jesus about it. I know what He will say. She is not worthy of forgiveness. This is where I stand. I have to see it this way.

I Replied to Olive

You wrote, “The truth is that she is evil and deserves to be punished.” The truth is that every part of you and me is evil and deserve to be punished. Jesus said that we cannot expect God to forgive us if we don’t forgive others.

Yes, you are not Jesus, but you are called to be like him and if you were to refuse to go his way, you would lose his protection and it is he, not you, who has kept you out of jail, etc. by not letting alters take over.

If I believed Jessie were “too ruined,” I would have given up on every one of you. Jesus has powerfully changed you, and so many others, and he will likewise do the same for Jessie, dear friend.

By choosing not to talk to Jesus about this, you are on very dangerous ground, dear friend. My heart breaks for you.

Violet Wrote

There is something else odd about Jessie. She doesn’t want anyone to touch her unless she is terrified by Jesus. [ In which case she clung tightly to Violet. ] Unlike other alters, she doesn’t want me to comfort her when she feels sad. I just end up sitting next to her. You might try asking her about this. I did and I got nowhere.

From Sunshine

Today Momma and some of the others were enjoying being naked outside. But I just got scared and asked Momma to put our clothes back on. It was too scary. I used to like it but then Jessie . . .

Uncle Grantley, I really don’t like her. She loves the priest. I hate that guy. He hurt me so much! I really don’t want to talk to Jessie ever again. Now, because of her, being naked is scary again. I hate her.

My Reply to Sunshine

Hi, Dear friend!

Lovely to hear from you again! Many thanks for sharing what has been happening.

I’m so sorry this happened, dear friend. You deserve to feel free and have fun. However, something good happened as a result. Seeing you upset touched Jessie’s heart. It made her sad to see you upset and it caused her to better understand how wrong it is to abuse little children.

She used to love the priest because he tricked her and did not let her know about any of the bad things. She is beginning to see him very differently, but he offered her what seemed to be love and kindness and she greatly misses this, especially when she is surrounded by hate and unkindness from other alters. The more you are able to show her love and kindness, the more she will change and become a nice person who understands how bad the priest was and how bad it is to abuse children. Please talk to Jesus about this and see what he says.

Yes, the priest hurt you greatly, but this was kept hidden from Jessie and if you never let her know, how will she find out what he was really like?

Sunshine’s Response

He touched her, too, Uncle Grantley. She knew what it was like and she decided to side with the evil man. She decided to side with my enemy. Why should I give any care about her. She is my enemy.

Reply

You should care about her because Jesus cared about you when you were his enemy.

From Sunshine

What do you mean? When was I His enemy? I love my Dadda!

I Replied

You love Dadda now, my friend, but all of us used to act like his enemy by doing bad things that upset him.

From Sunshine

I didn’t know what bad things I did so I asked Momma. She said about when I asked to have sex with you. I never thought about how bad that was. I guess that’s a little like Jessie, huh?

I was just doing my job. So was Jessie. The priest taught me that I was married to all those men and I believed him. The only difference between Jessie and me is that the priest was a little bit nice to her and he was never, ever nice to me. I guess she wasn’t on his side because she wanted to be but because she was tricked into it by the evil, bad priest.

I understand that now. I feel bad for her but I still don’t like how she acts as if the priest was wonderful. He wasn’t. Not even to her. What do I do when she acts that way? I see her a lot.

Reply

Yes, you were equally bad, dear friend. You tried to sexually corrupt me, like Jessie wanted to sexually corrupt those children. But I was kind and gracious to you, wasn’t I? Jessie deserves the same from us, even if we don’t like what she did, just like I didn’t like what you did.

You are very wise to come to the understanding that you have, dear one. I’m thrilled that you now feel bad for her.

She is quickly beginning to see that the priest was not like she thought he was. She just needs our help and if we don’t talk with her and treat her with respect, how will she ever discover the truth?

I think she will think less and less that the priest was wonderful, but when she does, I ask you to be patient (even though it is so hard) and offer to share with her things about the priest she is not aware of. She is currently scared to face these truths because it will mean her entire world will come crashing down. She will feel very, very bad about herself and might even feel like killing herself. This is why we need to be kind to her so that she knows she has real friends who are worth living for.

A Message to Olive From Violet

Olive, almost 10 months ago you asked me to be your mom. This responsibility is something I take very seriously. I am Momma to both you and Jessie. I will not have one of my daughters treating another with so much disrespect. When you disrespect her you disrespect me.

I understand your anger. What she did wasn’t right. However, she is nothing more than a very broken little girl – very broken like you were when I first met you. I don’t approve of the way you are acting toward Jessie right now. If you cannot find a way to respect her pain then kindly confine yourself to an isolation hut [ a place set aside in Violet’s inner world where alters can go when they wish to spend time alone ] until you can find it within you to act respectfully.

This glaring at her and constant hovering is beneath you. Find something else to do. It breaks my heart to tell you this, but if you cannot act respectfully and refuse to stay away from her, Hazel [ the alter skilled at organizing the alters’ inner world ] and I will have to confine you to a pod ourselves. Please don’t make me do this. It would really hurt both of us.

From Olive

Uncle Grantley, I am so angry at Momma! How could she take sides with that wench? I’m not a danger here! I’m keeping us from danger! Why doesn’t Momma understand this! She is being foolish and taking unnecessary risks! I’m half tempted just to take over the body. But Hazel wouldn’t allow that. I’m sure she’s keeping an eye on me, too! I hate everything about this. You’re on my side right, Uncle Grantley? Would you please talk some sense into Momma?

My Reply to Olive

I feel for you, dear one, but you are in an important position and high standards are expected of people in such important positions.

You say you are not a danger, but anyone who is not in submission to Jesus is a serious danger, dear friend. Momma will be able to trust you again once you sort this out with Jesus.

Jessie Wrote

Momma just talked to that Olive person. Olive wasn’t very happy but she’s gone now. Why did Momma do that?

Why do you lose sleep worrying about me? Do you need help with your lust? I’ll help if you need it. You’re far away but I bet I can do something to help if you needed it. But you don’t have to if it would make you feel bad. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to help you with your lust. That’s all.

What do you mean when you say I’ve been starved of real love?

> It hurt them stupendously. Unless they share all their memories in detail with you, you will have no idea just how much he hurt so very many parts of you.

Is it okay if I don’t want to know the bad memories for now? I’m just so sad. I don’t want more sadness.

I miss the priest so much!

Reply

Momma acted the way she did because she has Jesus’ heart, and Jesus is like that. Like Olive, Jesus knows that what you did was wrong, but Jesus longs to forgive you and he will, as soon as you ask him.

I feel concern for you because you are important to Jesus. He loves you totally unselfishly and so do I.

You wrote, “Do you need help with your lust? I’ll help if you need it.” You still don’t understand dear friend. What you are suggesting is VERY wrong. The real Jesus is not like that.

By saying you have been cruelly starved of real love, I mean you have never received real love. You are now receiving it, however, through Momma and me, but you are still having difficulty coming to terms with it

I believe you need to know how much the others were hurt. I think you are mainly sad just because the priest isn’t there and people don’t like it when you act badly. You need to be sad because you realize that what you did was wrong. When you have sadness for that, it will end up setting you free and making you happy.

Yes, it’s not the same as when the priest was around. You have yet to understand what a good thing that is.

Momma said you are reluctant to let anyone touch you. Why is that my friend? You are the one who claims that touching people is good.

Jessie Wrote

I am only for the priest. If others touch me – even just a hug – then the priest will never take me back.

Uncle Grantley, I do love the priest. He was nice to me – even without all the sex and things. He held me close and I felt safe with him. Uncle Grantley, I know it’s hard to believe but I really do love the priest. Even if all the sex was bad. I still love him.

This Sunshine person came up to me and said, “Hi.” Why’d she do that? Now she’s sitting with me. She wanted to give me a hug but I said no. She said she doesn’t like it much when I talk about the priest. But she still wants to be my friend.

Uncle Grantley, no one has ever wanted to be my friend because I was the priest’s favorite. I thought they were just jealous but maybe they just didn’t like me because of the priest. Sunshine said she wants to tell me about what she remembers about the priest. Uncle Grantley, I’m really scared to know what she says. I’m just really scared. I wish the priest were here to hold me close.

Reply

You said that if others give you even a hug, the priest would never take you back. This is part of what I said about you being starved of love. He was doing his best to keep you starved. You never have to worry about it now, because the priest is gone forever.

You only love the person you thought the priest was, not the person he really was.

This person came up to me and said, “hi”.

It is very brave of Sunshine to do what she is doing. She feels very hurt by things you have said and done but she wants to be like Jesus, and Jesus is kind and forgiving.

I’m so proud of her for offering to give you a hug.

No, they were not jealous of you. They saw you as selling your soul to the enemy. They did not want to be like you.

I know you are scared of what Sunshine knows but you need to know the truth, dear friend.

The priest has abandoned you, but the real Jesus never will.

Violet Wrote

Olive is very, very angry at me. She won’t even talk to me. I’m sorry she’s that angry. Something had to be done. I’d rather she be angry at me than at Jessie. I’ve got big shoulders, Jessie doesn’t. I question whether that was the right thing to do but I just could not stomach the way she was treating Jessie.

My Reply To Violet

It was a very tough call for you and I feel for all of you. As I told Olive, she holds a very responsible position and very high standards are required for such positions. My biggest concern was her refusal to talk it over with Jesus. Anyone not willing to submit to Jesus can, even with good intentions, make serious mistakes.

All of you are so precious to me.

Bless you!

Sunshine Wrote

Uncle Grantley, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I asked to have sex with you. I wasn’t right to do that to you. Will you forgive me?

Reply

Of course, I forgive you, dear friend. And I am so very proud of you for befriending Jessie. VERY proud.

From Jessie

If I listen to Sunshine will you be here in case I need you? I’m really scared.

Reply

Absolutely!

From Sunshine

I told her, Uncle Grantley. I told her about the priest and the fake Jesus and all the bad things. But she is just shaking and crying. Her face is in the dirt. She is crying so much that I am crying. She won’t talk to me or Momma. Will you help her, please?

To Sunshine

Well done, dear one! Thank you for telling me.

From Jessie

Uncle Grantley, she told me. She told me everything. I hate myself now. He was like my daddy, but he was evil. That means I’m evil too.

Uncle Grantley, he sold Sunshine and scared her and made dogs have sex on her. My daddy was evil and I’m scared and sad and I’m so confused. Why was he like this?

I didn’t know he had two little girls hiding in the wall.

I’m just evil and I’m scared that that evil is going to be too big and I’ll make more Sunshines. [ Hurt other children like Sunshine had been hurt. ] I don’t want to be evil but I am. I’m like my daddy. I’m like him. Uncle Grantley, I’m just evil.

I don’t want to be alive anymore. I’ll just hurt people. I’ll make more Sunshines. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I just want to disappear. I’m a bad idea that’s all. My daddy made me into a bad idea. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Sorry. I’m so evil.

Reply

Sunshine didn’t tell you everything but she told you the part she knows about. Jesus will totally cleanse you and make you a very good person, if you just ask him to, dear friend. Without Jesus, all of us are evil but with him we become truly good people.

It is so confusing for you to discover so much that had deliberately been kept hidden from you. But now the priest’s evil plan has been exposed and he no longer has any power to deceive you.

I have no idea why he was so evil. His behavior defies most people’s comprehension. He was certainly controlled by demons.

Making more “Sunshines” might have happened if Olive hadn’t protected you. I know she needs to be kind to you but she did spare you from some very bad things. However, if you let Jesus help you, you will be able to become the good, kind, safe person that you long to be.

I know you don’t want to be evil. If you ask for Jesus’ help, you will not be like the priest.

We need you, dear friend. For a start, if you were to die, Momma and Sunshine and everyone else inside would die as well. And there are probably other parts who are also confused and need you to help them understand the truth.

I believe in you, Jessie, and so does Jesus.

Jessie Wrote

I just want to be dead. If I’m dead then I can’t make other Sunshines. That’s what I’ll do if I stay alive. We need to die. That’s the only solution.

Reply

Dear one, you are just about to begin what will be the most wonderful part of your life.

If you were to die you wouldn’t be able to help other “Sunshines” and that is what you are now called to do.

God has spared you because he has wonderful plans for you – plans that will not only bring you fulfillment but will help many people. Don’t give up now that you are so close to achieving great things.

Jessie’s Response

No, you don’t understand. This is a bad, bad, bad problem. We need to die like Olive had planned. We need to do it before I see kids again. Please. We need to die, okay?

From me

Tell me what makes you think this, dear friend. Whatever it is, Jesus is stronger and will protect you and transform you if only you ask for his help.

No, it is not okay for you to die. Whether you like it or not, people need you.

Jessie Wrote

[ Referring to decades ago when she was in a child’s body. ] Sometimes when I’m with kids something happens and I can’t stop myself from touching kids. Something changes inside me and I can’t make it stop. My daddy made it happen for me. It made me his best teacher. He said if I did it then he’d always protect me from Jesus. I can’t make it stop, Uncle Grantley. We need to die. It’s the only way to stop making other Sunshines. I’m sorry. I know you like us a lot but we have to die.

Reply

Whatever it is, Jesus can reverse it, dear one.

You never need protecting from the real Jesus. The priest tried to scare you from going to the real Jesus because he knew that the real Jesus is able to reverse this. Thinking you have to die is as big a lie as anything else the priest told you.

You won’t regret talking with Jesus. It definitely will not hurt you. Feel free to take Sunshine and/or Momma with you. You don’t need them because you will be totally safe but they will help you FEEL safer.

Jessie Wrote

I don’t WANT to die. I HAVE to die. Olive is right. It’s the only way out. But I’ll try this Jesus. Do you promise he won’t hurt me. I’d rather die without pain. Okay?

From Violet

It finally happened! It’s been so hard to watch a little child who obviously needs physical comfort and her not letting me give it to her. She slowly crept into my arms. Hazel brought a blanket for her. Jessie is shaking something fierce right now. But she is willing to talk to Jesus! Here we go!

Jessie Wrote

Uncle Grantley, I asked Momma to be my mommy. She gives me hugs that are better than the priest. They feel warm and full of love. But not the kind with sex and orgasms. The nice fluffy kind. Hazel gave me a blanket. She said it’s for times when I feel scared. That way I can snuggle and hide at the same time. And Olive is watching from far away. And Sunshine is holding my hand.

Uncle Grantley, I wanted a hug so bad and now there are lots of people who will hug me. I’m not special for the priest. But I am special for everyone here.

Well, I’m gonna tell you about Jesus now, okay? It was very scary. I sat on Momma’s lap and hid in my blanket and only looked with my eyes.

Hazel and Jesus talked. Hazel gave Jesus a hug. I thought she was extra brave to do that. I couldn’t do that. Hazel went to stand with Olive. Well, Jesus sat down with His back toward me. He didn’t look my way at all. He said loudly, “I won’t move till you tell me I can. I don’t want to scare you. Did you have something you wanted to say to me?”

Momma held me close. I put my head on her chest and she stroked my cheek. I feel safe with her, Uncle Grantley. She is so nice to me. I think she just wants me to be happy. Well, I told Jesus yes.

He said, “Lay it on me!”

I said, “I’m too scared. I can’t.”

Uncle Grantley, I was all shaky. I couldn’t talk good.

Then Jesus said, “Let me tell you a story. One time I was walking down a road. There was a cemetery in the hillside. I had all my friends around me. It was just a little stormy. Not rain. Just wind and some lightening. As we were walking, a man came and told us it wasn’t safe to walk this way. He said there was a crazy man who had demons in him. I heard a horrible sound coming from the cemetery. I looked over, and this man with broken chains around his wrists and ankles came to me. He fell down on the ground and with a scratchy gruff voice he screamed out, ‘Why are you here with us? You are God. Please don’t send us out of this body. If you do please send us into the herd of pigs.’

My friends were confused but the man who warned us told me that this man was so violent they had to chain him up. But even that didn’t work because he would always break the chains. But I saw the man. He was miserable. He wanted the demons out. And I saw the demons. They were scared. I felt bad for the man so I decided to help him. I sent the demons into the pigs. The pigs went crazy and ran off a cliff.

Do you see?” Uncle Grantley, I’m like that demon guy. I can’t make myself stop touching kids. My hands just do it. I think the man would wish he was dead just like me.

Jesus said, “That’s right. You are like the man. Can you guess what I am like?”

Uncle Grantley, He heard my thinking. I was really surprised! I said, “You are the nice guy who made the demons go away. You must be good and nice. But you still scare me. I saw you hurt the priest and you beat me up. I had bruises and blood.”

He said, “Let me tell you a different story. One day, I was walking down the street and there was a funeral happening. Back then people cried really loud. I looked and saw a dead boy being carried on a platform. The mom was crying a lot because this was her only son. Now he was dead. I felt so bad for this poor woman. I told her, ‘It’s going to be okay.’ I put my hand on the platform. Everyone stopped and looked at me. I said to the boy, ‘Get up.’ And he came back to life. I carried him back to his mom and she was happy.

I did this because I love her and I felt bad for her. I feel the same way about you. Maybe your son isn’t dead but the one you called daddy is as good as dead to you. I cannot bring him back to life because he was evil but I can bring you back to life. That’s all I want to do. I just want to help you.”

Uncle Grantley, He tells good stories. Momma says they aren’t stories. She says they really happened that way.

Jesus said, “Would you like me to help now or am I still really scary?”

I said, “Scary.”

Then Sunshine got up and sat in his lap. But Jesus didn’t move or hurt her at all. He just sat there. Then she gave Him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Then she looked at Jesus and said, “Stand up.” and Jesus did it. Then she said, “Sit down” and He did. She said, “Turn around three times”

Jesus said, “I wish I could but I made a promise to Jessie. Maybe we could do a different one.”

Sunshine came to me and said, “What do you think we should make Him do? This is one of my favorite games to play with Him. Watch this! Dadda I want you to float three feet in the air.”

Uncle Grantley, He listened to her. He did it even though it’s impossible. I decided to try telling him something impossible too. I said, “Tie your legs in a knot” He said, “It shall be done!” and He did it!

Then I said, “Make that tree burn!” He said, “I won’t hurt anything but you can ask me to do something different.” I said, “Make a lollypop for me.”

He said, “It shall be done!” and He did it!

I said, “Make one for Sunshine, too!” He said, “It shall be done!” and He did it!

I liked playing that game. Then I got serious. I said, “Jesus, if you really are good then you will help us. If we get around kids I will touch them and have sex with them. I will really like it, too. So, if you can’t fix this then we have to kill ourselves. Will you fix me please?”

He said, “It shall be done!” He said, “Close your eyes and think of a time when you couldn’t stop.”

I did. Then, just like a movie, it was happening in front of me.

Jesus said, “When you see the thing that make you do it say, ‘Stop!’” I saw it and He said, “Now, tell it that Jesus is your boss and He says to go away.”

I did it just like He said. When I told it to go away it came out of my body and looked at Jesus then zapped away. I said to Jesus, “Do you promise that you will never hurt me like the other Jesus. Not ever?”

He said, “It is done!”

I said, “You’re supposed to say, ‘It shall be done!’”

Jesus said, “But it’s already done! I’ve never hurt you and I never will. So it is done!”

I said, “Okay, then you can come close.” He came right in front of us. I said, “But please don’t touch me. I’m still scared.”

He said, “It shall be done!” I smiled at Him.

I said, “You are silly, you know.”

He said, “I know, just like your Momma!”

Momma got a shoe and playfully threw it at Him.

Then He kissed her forehead and said, “Ahh! But she’s my ‘silly woman’ and that means everything to me!”

Sunshine, what do you think of Jessie?”

Sunshine said, “I think she’s really brave! I’m glad she’s my new friend too! I think I love her! Isn’t that good?”

I thought it was, too. My heart was happier.

Uncle Grantley. I won’t kill us and the bad thing is gone, so I won’t touch kids and make them into Sunshines. But I hope someone will stay with me just in case. I wish that Olive person wasn’t so angry. She did a good job of protecting us. It might take me a while to touch Jesus. I hope that’s okay. I’m still really nervous. But I have Momma and Sunshine and the others. I think things will get better. Thank you for loving me even when I was saying all those bad things. I’ll tell Momma that, too. Well, everyone here is exhausted. We’re going to sleep, okay? I love you!

My Reply to Jessie

I’m glad you asked Momma to be your mommy. No one could be a better mommy. And you deserve a good one.

She gives good hugs because her love is real. She’s special and so are you.

There are indeed lots of people who will hug you now. And you deserve it.

You found talking to Jesus scary at first but I’m proud of you for not caving into the fear. You are strong and brave. When Hazel gave Jesus a hug, she wasn’t being brave, she just knows how wonderful Jesus is. He’s even safer and more wonderful than Momma and both of them want you to be happy.

Yes, he knew what you were thinking. There is nothing he cannot do and he refused to move until you told him it was okay. He’s so kind, isn’t he! He listened to Sunshine and he listens to you.

When the thing inside you went away because you told it to, it means that Jesus has made you much more powerful than whatever it was that used to make you do those things. And if it ever came back you could tell it to go just like you did before.

I’m very grateful that you have decided to live. Yes, Olive did a great job of protecting you. She’ll soon get over her anger.

You can take as long as you like in feeling okay about touching Jesus but the longer you wait the more you’ll wish you hadn’t waited so long. (smile)

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, dear friend.

From Olive

Uncle Grantley, I’m really disappointed in myself. I was there when Jessie talked to Jesus. Hazel begged me to go. She begged long and hard. I finally relented. I was angry and I stood with my arms crossed. I didn’t see any reason for me to be there. I wanted to scream.

Then Jesus started telling the story of the demon possessed man. He said that he saw the man and He saw the demon. He felt compassion for the man and saw that the demon was afraid of Him.

Jesus came and put His arm around my shoulder. He said, “Did you get mad at the little girl or the demon?”

Uncle Grantley, I cried so hard. Jesus saw the hurt, scared man and helped. I only saw the sin of Jessie and shoved her away. I didn’t see her right. I didn’t see the little girl part of her. I was as bad as her abusers. They saw her as an object to be used. I saw her as garbage to be thrown away. But she wasn’t. She was just a girl, not an evil monster. I’m so sorry. I’m so ashamed of myself. I’m gonna go on a hike. I’ll talk to you and Jesus when I get back. I’m sorry.

To Olive

I honor you for your change of heart, dear one. I was most surprised to see you acting so unforgiving, because it was so out of character for you, although I fully understand and support you in being adamant that no one be allowed to hurt children.

I’m proud of you!

Olive Replied

Uncle Grantley, in my life I have seen so many bad things happen to kids. I am the protector responsible for kids and we have worked with kids for a long time. I’ve seen so many bad, bad things. I don’t think I can adequately explain how very protective I am of kids, especially those I see a lot. But Jesus said, “You aren’t their protector. I am. You tried to take my job from me when you started glowering at Jessie. Your view was clouded by your past. My daughter, anytime you come across an abuser, take a second and remember that you belong to me. I am the Great Shepherd and you are just my hired person. You are supposed to take your direction from me and not from your protective spirit.”

Uncle Grantley, the problem isn’t my protectiveness. It’s that my protectiveness doesn’t obey Jesus. I let my protectiveness to overrule my relationship with my Dadda. That’s what I did wrong. I’m sorry. I let you down and Momma down, let alone Dadda. You guys have been so kind to me and helped me in so many ways but I repaid that by hurting a child. I’m sorry. I should have done better.

My Reply

It is true that ultimately Jesus is their protector. I became disturbed when you weren’t willing to consult Jesus on the matter.

You are right in understanding that you had allowed your protectiveness overrule your relationship with Dadda. I commend you for being so insightful. Well done!

You will do better from now on, my friend! You are wiser than ever now.

I think you’re wonderful!

Olive responded

I really am sorry, Uncle Grantley. I really am. I’ve been crying all day because of this.

I replied

There’s no point in doing that, dear one. Here’s something I’ve written:

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU GRIEVE YOUR LOVING LORD

1. ‘Make up’ with God straight away

Your wonderful Lord has feelings, and because you are so important to him you can cause him much grief if you neglect him or do wrong. When you discover that you’ve hurt him, you may feel too ashamed to approach the God of Perfection. Or you may feel so disappointed that you’ve let him down that you delay your return to God because you think you don’t deserve to immediately recommence a close relationship with him. But this only increases God’s grief because it extends the period of time over which that sin affects your relationship with your loving Lord.

Some dear people are so aware of the seriousness of sin that they don’t feel it’s right that God should let them off scot-free and so they try to punish themselves! The most common self-imposed punishment is to deliberately feel miserable and deny oneself certain legitimate pleasures for a period of time. (This generally includes not allowing themselves the right to enjoy their relationship with God.)

On the surface, it seems a noble thing to punish oneself for sin and it indicates a strong desire to please God. However, it is important to realize that your life is not your own (1 Corinthians 6:19). You’re God’s child (John 1:12) and you belong to him. The way a parent disciplines his child is solely the parent’s concern. Just as it would be wrong for you to interfere and punish someone else’s child, so it’s wrong for you to play God and try to punish yourself for your own failings.

Some people even punish themselves in the vain hope that it may help to secure their Lord’s approval. But this only insults Jesus by implying that his death wasn’t sufficient to gain your full forgiveness. Furthermore, believing you can help gain the Lord’s approval by punishing yourself, puts yourself in a spiritually dangerous situation. It is vital to your forgiveness that you place your complete faith in Jesus alone. Only Jesus is able to obtain God’s approval of you, and so you must place no faith in your own futile attempts to please God.

Unforgiven sin separates us from our Holy God (Isaiah 59:1-2). The sooner this rift is healed, the better. So if you happen to sin, return to God straight away, sincerely ask his forgiveness and trust him for the strength to overcome that sin, so that you will not commit it again. Once God has forgiven you, you are obligated to forgive yourself, because you should have God’s attitude toward all things. To refuse to forgive ourselves is to imply we have holier standards than God!

If someone gave you a precious gift at great personal cost, wouldn’t it sadden him if you refused to enjoy it? Likewise, you honor your Lord, not by beating yourself up, but by thoroughly enjoying his forgiveness.

2. Don’t allow a failure to discourage you

Because Christ is now dwelling inside of you, (Colossians 1:27) you have so much power at your disposal that Satan is terrified of you (James. 4:7; 1 John 4:4). When it comes to a display of power, you will win every time. The only thing the devil can do is to try psychological warfare. If he could trick you into giving up, he has nothing to fear. He will try to discourage you. So banish all thoughts that you are ‘no good,’ ‘weak,’ or ‘hopeless.’ Such lies are from the pit of hell. God believes in you. He is more than strong enough to overcome your every weakness. You’re on God’s side and that means you’re on the winning side (Hebrews 2:14; Revelation 5:12; 12:9-11; 20:7-10). You are more than a conqueror through him who loves you (Romans 8:37 – see also Psalm 60:12; Romans 16:20; 1 Corinthians 15:57). Quote this Scripture to Satan: ‘Rejoice not against me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall arise’ (Micah 7:8 – see also Psalm 34:19; 37:23-24; Proverbs 24:16).

Satan will put evil ideas and desires into your mind (temptation) in order to try to entice you to sin against God. But you can just ignore these thoughts. God has promised that no temptation will ever be too strong for you (1 Corinthians 10:13). Satan, of course, will try to fool you into thinking that his temptation is so strong that you will eventually have to give in to it. He will continue his bluff by trying to convince you with the lie that failure is inevitable and so there is no point in holding out any longer. He will attempt to excuse the evil act or make you feel that you can’t stop yourself from sinning. If you were to believe his lies, then you will not bother to continue resisting the temptation and so, of course, you will give in and commit the sin. However, if you believe the Lord’s promise (1 Corinthians 10:13) instead of Satan’s lies, you won’t be bluffed into surrendering to the Satan-inspired urge to sin, even when that desire gets really strong. As you continue to hold out you will find that you will always overcome temptation because God’s Spirit dwells in you.

Jessie Wrote

Uncle Grantley, if there are other Jessies out there that need to learn the truth I want to help them. As long as I won’t hurt them, of course. I have hurt a lot of people. Maybe putting this on the Internet will help some people. That would be good, I think.

The Satanic Dimension

This webpage is almost complete but the following, though drastically condensed to lessen your reading, is too relevant to omit.

As is normal in healing from Dissociative Identity Disorder, almost as soon as Jessie had her breakthrough, a new crisis arose in the form of an alter not previously known to Violet. Calling herself Contempt, this alter was strongly satanic in beliefs and commitment. The strong connection with the rest of this webpage became apparent only after several email exchanges with Contempt. For your sake, I will immediately zero in on it. She wrote:

I know that Jessie wants to talk to Jesus but I will not allow that any longer. These people [ Violet and her alters ] need to suffer. They were made for me so that I could be powerful in the outside world. They are my slaves and should respond to my command. They are mine. I will tell Licentious [ another alter ] to seduce a man and she will. Then they will fail Jesus and feel guilty and I will have more power over them. I will demoralize anyone I can get my hands on.

Jessie was made to ruin children. I will cause her to do that in the morning. She will feel the soft mound between a girl’s legs. She will gently stroke a boy’s genitals.

They must all do their jobs and the children must suffer. I will taste and savor their suffering. It will give me life and health. This is what I will do. No one can stop me!

There were a number of e-mail exchanges in which Contempt proved as resistant to what I said about Satan and Jesus, as Jessie had been to my attempts to prove that being a sexual predator is wrong. Here is a condensed version of her e-mails (with swear words replaced by @#!%). To keep it short, I’ve particularly slashed my own responses. To make it more obvious which are my comments, they are not only in a different color but in bold (not because they are important but because bold can be a little harder to read and my comments are shorter). Contempt wrote:

Chains [ another alter ] tells me that I should talk to Jesus. I’m not talking to that @#!% man. I’m just not. Don’t even try to force me to do it. I know “it’s a pity”. Blah, blah, blah! “Jesus is your best friend, ever.” I fell for those lies once before. I’ll not do it again.

All these people here [ alters ] who have decided to change their name don’t deserve it. [ As they healed, Violet’s alters with degrading names had changed their names to more noble ones. ] They are all just worthless trash. That’s why I called her Chains. She is just worthless and should keep her @#!% name. There is a reason why they put her in chains. It’s the same for Licentious [ another alter ]. She is a worthless tramp. And Little Sister... [ another alter ] needs to remember that she is just the human form of cattle. They are all worthless. To think anything different is foolish. Well, anyways, I smell the fire and the burning flesh all the time. I would like to not smell it. Chains says that maybe you can help.

“Jesus is love” and all the warm fuzzy @#!%. Well, @#!%! He is not. And you are all fools, @#!% fools, to think He is that kind of @#!%. Oh, He can be all warm and fuzzy...if you don’t mind the razor blades inside! It’s all just a @#!% illusion. Wise up! We need to find the priest and the outside Jesus [ the fake Jesus ]. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to find them and go back to them. They are my home. We WILL return. Then everything will go back to the way it was. All these dumb asses will remember their place. That’s just it.

Wait, what the @#!%! Why can’t I control this @#!% body? What the @#!% is happening!

I’m not stupid! I’ve known lots of warm fuzzy people. All of them were liars. There are only two people that have told the truth every time. The priest and [ the fake ] Jesus. Them only.

They have abandoned you.

How do you know?

They haven’t been around for literally decades and none of you told them to go away. Do the math. The year is 2016. Work out how old that makes them now and how long it is that they have had no contact with you.

I don’t know why it has been so long. Usually they tell me so I can keep things in line. But no matter. Man, things have gotten way out of control around here! What the @#!% did you guys do this for! There is no point to all of this! Monster [ another alter ] and I talked. We both agree. We are headed for trouble. I don’t know how we are going to get out of this one. @#!%.

If the priest and what you call the “outside Jesus” are not liars, how come the “outside Jesus” is nothing like the Jesus in the Bible, who is good and kind and all-powerful and objects to sex, except as a never ending union between an adult man and woman who are totally committed to each other for life?

You mean those fairy tales for little kids? That’s like Santa Claus. You expect me, a near-adult, to accept a fairy tale as truth? I think not!

How come you found yourself compelled to obey the real Jesus when he told you to sit down on the bench? [ Violet had told me about this recent encounter. ]

Because I’m not stupid. You don’t disobey Jesus. You just don’t.

Since this Jesus has so much power, how come he never hurt you?

I’m sure he has his reasons. He’s been nice to others before. Eventually the claws come out.

Things have to go back [ to the way they were before alters healed ]. This is SO bad! I’m glad Monster found me...@#!%! Look at this place! If the priest ever finds out about this we’ll be dead! @#!%, @#!%, @#!%!

How old were you when the priest and the fake Jesus started with you, and how old when they stopped having contact with you? Do the math. Work out how many times longer than that it is that they have had nothing to do with you.

Yes, yes, yes. Over ten times longer. It’s been a long time. I realize you think I’m being irrational. If you were in my shoes and knew what I knew you’d say the same thing. You are only working on partial information.

[ Of course, I did all I could to explain that it was Contempt who was missing so much vital information. Then I added:]

Your parts now have more control of their lives than ever before.

Yes, this is true and it’s part of the problem.

The priest etc were liars and used threats they could never keep to make you their slaves. Now you are finally free.

Free...there is no such thing. We are all slaves.

The gospel accounts are historical records. A “Jesus” who molests people is completely without any historical basis.

Yes, and Santa Claus was a historical man. The stories told about him are not true.

You claim to be so smart and powerful and you’re scared of a Jesus you claim is a fairy tale???

Jesus isn’t a fairy tale, but the stories in that book certainly are. Historical records my ass!

How come being free from the priest has been going on for decades and you are all still alive?

I don’t know...I just don’t know. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad we’re alive and all. But I know these people.

You and Violet, and everyone else, don’t understand. I intend to find my kind again. I don’t care about your fairy tale Jesus. I intend to go back and worship the true god. I owe my life to him. I am accountable to him. If I am not allowed to follow my master. I will perform the ritual [ a way of summoning demons ]. I will do this as soon as I figure out how to get control back. You can go follow your fairy tale master all you want. He has all that warm, gushy stuff. It is nothing compared to the raw power found in Satan. Enjoy these fools while you can. I love, serve and worship Satan.

[ A little later, Contempt wrote: ] What is going on here!? Why won’t this work!? It’s worked all the other times!

I waited till Violet was asleep and gave her innumerable nightmares and still I got nowhere! [ Contempt means she tried in vain to get Hazel to relent by tormenting Violet with nightmares. ] This Hazel character was unmovable and implacable. I don’t even recognize her. I thought I knew everyone! What is going on?!

[ Later: ] Hazel says I should look for the truth. But how do I know what truth is?

How did Hazel stop all my demon friends? And, even if I talked to this nice, gentle Jesus He’d just send me packing.

Comments: As is typical of such alters (and it is rather similar with demons) Contempt had tried acting tough, scary and powerful, but it was all a desperate attempt at bluff. She was just a frightened little girl, terrified that she could never escape the priest and that upon his return she would not only be forced to submit to him again but, unless she could bluff everyone in reverting to the way things used to be when the priest had been there, she and all the other alters would be severely punished for alters no longer remaining under her control and no longer acting in the roles the priest had assigned for them.

Our dialog kept continuing but the final breakthrough occurred when Contempt realized that even if the priest returned to try to re-claim her she could truly be free of the cult because of the real Jesus.

Update from Jessie

It’s been almost a year since I first made myself known to everyone inside. Daddy [Jesus] would never, ever touch anyone in a bad way, but at the end of my part of the story above, I was still having problems trusting him. But I remember the day it finally happened. It was like Momma’s wonderful hug but it made me complete.

Sunshine and I had become good friends. We went everywhere together. I was always in physical contact with her and she returned that affection eagerly. One day she said, “You know, Jessie, we are two sides of the same coin. We both had it really bad. But here’s the difference between you and me. Daddy and I hug each other. That means I get to experience more of his love and you don’t!” She looked at me impishly.

I was stunned to silence. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I laughed and said, “Is that a dare?” She smiled and said, “You’d better believe it!”

I’m not one to turn down a dare. So I immediately turned around to find Daddy. It wasn’t a long hunt because he was behind me a little way. He almost looked bashful! I straightened my shoulders and walked determinedly toward him. The whole time I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to touch him. His arm? Head? Shoulder? Probably not his leg. That would be awkward.

I ran out of time before I figured it out. I ended up standing in front of him like a deer in the headlights. He simply and slowly brushed the hair from my face. It was such a tender gesture that my heart melted. I grabbed his hand and put it on my cheek. We touched foreheads and just stood there like that. It seemed an eternity to me but Sunshine said it was just a few minutes. In that simple touch I felt the lies I had believed dissolve, and the trauma I had suffered through became reality. I wept tears by the bucket full. But at the same time, I was receiving his love more fully than ever before. Half the buckets of tears were of joy and the other half was sorrow. His touch made everything I’ve been through livable because I was finally complete in him.

Then I started having flashbacks. They made me feel like I was flying apart at the seams. But one touch from Daddy always brings my seams back together. He’s my solid base. Our body is regularly around kids. That can be hard for me, not because I feel attracted to them (I don’t anymore), but because I remember the kids I abused and I feel guilty because of that. The good thing is that feelings aren’t truth. Feelings are just feelings. They change. The truth doesn’t. The truth is that the highest court in the universe has judged me guilty but my Daddy took the punishment my guilt deserved. Now my record has been expunged and I am blameless. And that’s the highest court in the land! If any other court, whether that court is in me or someone else, tried to lay blame on me I can stand tall because I know that I am not guilty any longer. That’s the truth.

If you are like me, then please know that there is hope. Things really do get better and better. It only takes one thing. It takes Jesus. He’s the key to it all. He makes those who are guilty innocent. He makes those who are in pieces whole. He makes the old new. It’s who he is. The funny thing is, once you ask his forgiveness, he doesn’t have any other choice than to forgive you. It’s who he is! So, my dear friend, if you are the one who is in a situation to me; talk to Daddy. When you feel guilty; talk to Daddy. When the lies you believed hound you; talk to Daddy. When it seems like you will never stop crying; talk to Daddy. You’ll note that I think Daddy is important. He is. It is because of him that I have a good life and I am full of peace. You can have this too.

If you are the person trying to help someone who was like me this is my advice: What Grantley, Momma and Sunshine did for me is give me a “practice Jesus”. That way I was ready for the real thing when it was time. They were kind to me and I felt loved and forgiven by them before I drew close to Daddy. Some people need a “practice Jesus”. Be that for your friend. When they finally talk to Daddy they will be open to his love because you acted like him.

Final Comment by Grantley

To explain more about the demonic influence in certain highly sexualized alters, I have a webpage about a woman who was addicted to having sex with demons. Until they were challenged enough to reveal their true nature, these undeniably real demons seemed to this woman to be imaginary friends with whom she had exceptionally pleasurable fantasy sex. Although not mentioned in the webpage, this woman had Dissociative Identity Disorder. See Demons? Imaginary Friends. The links at the end of that page provide further help with combatting demons.

More Help

How to Help & Cure a Sexually Abusive Demonized Alter

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Not to be sold. © Copyright, Grantley Morris, 2016. For much more by the same author, see www.net-burst.net   No part of these writings may be copied without citing this entire paragraph.