Fear & Feelings
Need not Define who I am

A Testimony

Since first visiting your website I have learned a lot about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and have discovered some root fears and issues that have been a driving force behind my OCD for me.

I believe that victory over OCD has many facets, including a bio-chemical component and faulty beliefs and fears, all of which the devil (the deceiver) tries hard to exploit.

Last night and this morning I had thoughts of me turning away from Christianity. Lately, I have been very good at letting these thoughts just pass on through without worrying about them. But this time I wasn’t so successful. I let the thought and feeling pass but then the worry about those thoughts and feelings started to get to me. Then the more I worried about them, the more of them started to happen, such as, “I really believe this” and so on. I then became extremely anxious over this and the more I tried not to think such thoughts and have such feelings, the more they happened. I tried to make myself “feel like a believer” and have the right thoughts but this made everything worse. This cycle got out of control and eventually I really thought that I was not a believer.

As I lay there, I was able to identify the underlying fears and false beliefs that contributed to that episode. I have a fear that those thoughts and feelings, if allowed to occur, make it true about me. That is why I have in the past tried to stop them, which simply makes them worse.

Even if I allow the thoughts and feelings to happen, just thinking and feeling something does not make it true. It is what God’s Word says that is true, not my thoughts and feelings. I shouldn’t fear the thoughts and feelings, no matter how real they feel or if I feel as if I agree with them. These thoughts and feelings are not what my future has for me. God has a future for me. I am who the bible says I am, not what my own thoughts and feelings say I am. I can see how the devil can use our thoughts and emotions to trip us up. For me, he just has to put one thought or feeling in there and I run with it. I don’t have to fear these things. The Bible has many promises for me to cling to.

In God’s grace and security,
J.

Not to be sold. © Copyright, 2009, Grantley Morris. Not to be copied in whole or in part without citing this entire paragraph. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings by Grantley Morris available free at the following internet site www.net-burst.net Freely you have received, freely give.