Blow away the cobwebs of predictability. Have fun. Let loose. Act a little crazy.

The greatest thing you can do for your husband and your marriage is to heavily involve God in it. High on the list of other helpful things you can do is to delight in your own sexual pleasure. That will keep you longing for more, and your genuine excitement about sex is one of the greatest possible turn-ons for your husband.

Many of the things that thrill a man, however, do not usually appeal to women. So unless they had ulterior motives, selfish women wouldn’t do them. Whereas average people find many things demeaning – such a kneeling and kissing one’s partner’s feet – genuine lovers are so lost in their partner’s pleasure that even the concept that anything could be demeaning is incomprehensible. It is doing things solely for the other person’s enjoyment that turns sex into lovemaking, rather than self-centered pleasure-seeking.

As you have no doubt observed, the visual side of sex means a lot to a man. For many a man, it means almost as much as both romance and foreplay mean to a woman. Out of ignorance, some men have sex with their wives without foreplay. I think you know that is no way to treat a woman. In the same way that some men don’t realize that foreplay should be a part of loving their wives, many women don’t understand the role of the visual in loving their husbands. Have you seen the way peacocks initiate the mating process by displaying their gorgeous tail feathers and vibrating them in a spectacular fashion? God created them to do that for their mate. I know many women find it embarrassing, but they, too, should seek to put on a visual display for their husbands in the intimacy of marriage.

Do you dress to please your husband or just yourself? The great tragedy is that the average wife seems to dress up for strangers and not for her husband. It should be the other way around. They should, at least occasionally, look far more beautiful and sensuous when alone with their husbands, than when they are dressed for a most important public event.

Do you really know what your husband likes, or do you merely think you know? Is your husband not interested in what you wear simply because he thinks you are dressing for your own ego and not for him?

For most forms of women’s clothing, it usually works out that the more impractical and uncomfortable the garment, the sexier it is (wouldn’t ya know it!). But that’s okay. You only have to slip it on a few moments before your husband sees it. One look at you in that uncomfortable gear and – bless his heart! – he’ll be so moved with compassion that he’ll beg you to take it off. He’ll probably even stick around to supervise – just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself, of course. And on the other hand, if it’s particularly comfortable, you might get to keep it on for weeks.

Since, at least in these things, most men like variety, it might be preferable to choose several less expensive items than one that will last until he is in a nursing home. Both black and red are usually exciting colors for a man. There are other possibilities but avoid skin tones and brown.

I realize you need to be comfortable when you sleep, but when it comes to nightwear, including slippers and a bathrobe, there are some monstrosities that could remind your husband of a three year old, or his mother, or grandmother, or a bag lady. There are equally practical alternatives that won’t turn him off his food. Since your husband is about the only person who will ever see you in this clothing, and he’ll see you in it quite a lot, it’s particularly important to buy these items for him more than for yourself. Don’t buy anything in this line that you can’t return, and press him for an honest opinion, after assuring him that you are specifically dressing for him and that you don’t just want something he can tolerate but what he really likes. He probably has little idea of what is available in women’s bathrobes, so if you can drag him along when you choose a bathrobe, do so. Suggest he stroke it to consider touch as well as appearance. A paper bag over his head might reduce his embarrassment as he walks into the shop.

The male need for visual variety

As briefly explained above, variety is important to a man. But don’t despair: you can go a long way toward breaking a man’s tendency to get bored looking at one body. To revive your husband’s interest in your body, let your mind run wild in dreaming up ways to make your body a continual surprise package.

For those who are feeling adventurous, someone, who would prefer to remain nameless, has provided in The Spice of Life a list of creative ways of doing this. That page is not for everyone. I suggest you pray as to if and when you should read it.

Wrap-up

Seek the Creator for creative ways of expressing marital love that will satisfy a normal man’s craving for variety – a craving dangerously inflamed by living in decadent western society. As you do this, our Lord will no doubt give you ideas that will soar far above the suggestions offered in this webpage and the many in the link (The Spice of Life). Gently persist with new things even if your husband’s first reaction is not encouraging. It could open up a whole new dimension to him, bonding the two of you closer than ever.

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