Do All Women Talk More Than Men?

Research suggests that the average woman speaks nearly three times as many words per day as the average man. Sex generalizations, however, are riddled with exceptions. As explained in Men: The Simpler Sex? marriages in which the typical gender strengths and weaknesses are reversed can be just as strong, exciting and challenging as other marriages. Since the more talkative partner is often the wife, this is the situation assumed in this webpage. If in your relationship the typical roles are reversed, you will still find the following helpful but in reading it you would have to see yourself as the opposite gender. That is as unfair as the many gadgets designed with only the right-handed user in mind. Just as being left-handed is as valid as being right-handed, so being in a relationship in which the male is the most communicative is as desirable as the opposite. Were it not for the vast numbers of webpages screaming in my head demanding to be written, I would craft a page specifically for these couples. Such a page would be essentially the same, of course, with the words husband and wife interchanged.

Understanding ‘The Strong, Silent Type’

Several factors railroad men into acting like the strong, silent type. One reason for many men clamming up is that they feel pressured to perpetuate the illusion that they are not quite human. As women feel shame about exposing stretch marks, so men find it humiliating to reveal their mistakes, fears and weaknesses. They suffer the compulsion to hide their normality because western society usually expects men to be abnormally free from human frailties. The oppressive myth as to what men should be like came about by expecting natural male strengths to be pushed to unnatural extremes. This misconception is so strong that few people seem to realize that what is expected of the normal man is, in fact, not normal. As individuals, men realize they don’t match the myth, but many hold the truth about themselves like a guilty secret, scared that if ever the truth slipped out they would be despised as much as if they suddenly started wearing high heels and dresses. Strength and silence travel together because silence is needed to maintain the illusion of strength.

Relative to most men, I have a kamikaze-like willingness to expose my flaws. My unusual behavior is partly driven by a yearning to help others, by understanding the value of the Christian virtues of honesty and humility, and by the realization that I cannot affirm Jesus as the ideal man if I have too negative a view of a man showing emotion. Nevertheless, before anyone shoots from the lip at her husband and implies all one needs is a dose of virtue to be open, we would do well to remember that most women are equally reluctant to humiliate themselves – it’s just that what humiliates women is often of a different nature to what humiliates their husbands. Is anyone who uses makeup to cover up the truth about her skin able to find a firm footing from which to throw mud at a man who wants to cover up certain truths about himself? Both genders find it exceedingly difficult to break the concrete of one’s upbringing and to prise oneself from the unrealistic expectations of society.

Furthermore, my own openness is partly due to defeatism – a quality no woman would want in her man. I am more willing than the average man to blab about my weaknesses because I have given up all hope of being popular or being regarded as a good specimen of manhood. The female equivalent is someone who has given up all attempts to make herself look attractive.

Unlike me, many men feel they still have a degree of respect in people’s eyes that would be further eroded if the truth got out. Living under such pressure is an enormous burden. Added to this is the even more vexing issue of self-respect. Some men fear they could barely cope with the devastation, should they admit their humanity even to themselves. If they are trying to suppress the truth from their own consciousness, it is little wonder that they have a desperate need to convince others that they have everything under control. The tragedy is that the weaknesses that fill them with shame are a normal part of being human. A female equivalent is women with normal bodies feeling ashamed that they are ‘overweight.’

Women are usually eager to admit to themselves that they have insecurities and so they crave the security that the ‘strong, silent type’ seems to offer them. When they get the man of their choice, however, they find themselves frustrated that he is so silent. Moreover, a wife often keeps her man clammed up because he senses that her need to feel secure and protected is such that despite what she may say, deep down she doesn’t really want to know how weak and vulnerable he is.

This is a significant factor that keeps a man from blabbing about his real self. But there is much more keeping him the strong, silent type.

The Male Brain

Another factor pressuring men to act like the strong silent type haunts me as much as it does other men and it will continue to affect me until I somehow manage to change the physical structure of my brain. Women reading my writings often imagine I would make a better companion than their own husband because I seem articulate. Actually, I am as untalkative (how’s that for a new word?) as the average man, and I assume most men find their verbal inadequacies as frustrating as I do. I labor over words so much that I feel almost forced to write because I am unable to string words together sufficiently to be the conversationalist I would like to be. Nevertheless, my writings demonstrate how much is locked within the average man. There are treasures that a skilful, patient woman could draw out of her man.

Brain science has uncovered genuine physiological reasons why talking is more taxing for most men than it is for most women. My sister was wonderfully articulate until struck by a brain tumor that affected her speech. She then started displaying the same sort of difficulties that I have always had. Just as the average woman can have difficulty keeping up with her man when it comes to brisk walking, so men suffer a physical disadvantage that makes it difficult for them keep up with the average woman at talking. When a man in a hurry is walking, his wife will keep up for a while, but in time she might find the pace increasingly uncomfortable. She is likely to tire quicker and begin to lag behind. Likewise, for the average man to keep up with his wife verbally takes a lot of effort and before long he will begin to tire.

Women find it confusing that in certain settings men are talkative, giving the impression that their men must have good verbal skills after all. For a short but helpful exploration of why this is, see Why the Life of the Party Clams up at Home.

Consider this analogy: especially in the early days of marriage, some young men have such a raging sex drive that they always seem in the mood for that side of marriage, whereas their new brides might occasionally match their husbands’ passion but usually everything has to be just right for them to be as quickly aroused as their husbands. Similarly, some women are quickly in the mood for talk but to get their husbands in the mood usually requires creating a conducive atmosphere and skilful selection of the right moment. A wife cannot expect much from her husband when, for example, he is tired or preoccupied or the subject does not animate him.

Every time a woman seizes the right moment to draw her husband into conversation will become a valuable time of bonding that will build her husband’s desire to share with her on future occasions. Conversely, whenever she squanders a critical moment by talking too much or crushing his feelings, it will not only gag him that time but it will make him more withdrawn on other occasions. Most wives who complain about their husbands not talking are unaware that for years they have contributed to the problem.

Opposites Attract

I once had a talkative woman in my life. I was drawn to her precisely because of her talkativeness. It meant there were no uncomfortable silences in our conversation. In time, however, the one-way nature of our conversation began to wear me down. Eighty percent of our conversation seemed to be her talking without her making the slightest attempt to ask about me. I felt the need for her to draw words out of me, like a masseuse easing tension out of a taut body. Even though we were exceptionally close friends, I still needed the assurance that I wasn’t imposing myself upon her by talking about myself or expressing my views. Perhaps, like men tend to assume their wives no longer need to be told they are loved, she kept assuming I didn’t need the invitation to speak, despite all my attempts to explain my need to her.

Even on the rare occasions she managed to think to ask, “How are you?” I would commence by giving the off-hand reply that most people expect when they ask that question. I hoped she would question me further, indicating a desire to really know about me, but she very rarely did. I believe she loved me deeply, but her need to talk seemed to swamp any desire to hear from me. I felt it was impolite to interrupt her, and usually her torrent of words meant that unless I were to interrupt and change the subject, I would have to wait half an hour or more into a conversation before a brief lull would allow me raise a subject of my own. Occasionally, I had something I particularly wanted to share with her but after the passing of such a period of time before my first opportunity to say anything, my yearning to share had sometimes completely drained from me. I was content when her monolog featured significant matters but by the time her talking had degenerated to inconsequential things, with still no invitation for me to speak, I was feeling that she considered it more important for her to jabber on about utter trivia rather than think of asking what was going on in my life. I’m sure her perception of her behavior was very different to the way I saw it. I knew she cared and so I kept tolerating her behavior, and yet it still took its toll on our friendship.

Of course, if he is willing to wait long enough, there are plenty of silences in a marriage during which a husband can have his say, but there are critical times when a man wants to share and if these occasions are missed he may well lose interest in talking when an opportunity finally arrives. So when a husband and wife get together after being separated for a few hours, it is good for the wife to ask how her husband is feeling and what he has experienced, and to show genuine interest by gaining eye contact and acting as if she is hoping for an answer. Often the man will not have much to say, but occasionally he will, and those times need to be nurtured.

Another habit to avoid is finishing his sentences for him. You might think you are helping but you are sending the message that he is verbally inadequate and that you are getting impatient with him. At times you’ll guess wrongly and only distract him and slow down his thinking process.

Wives Can Help – Or Hinder

There is a mysterious factor affecting how talkative a man is. Occasionally, I have met someone who almost miraculously turns me into a chatterbox. Normally, I would be bored talking about myself – after all, I am learning nothing new by the exercise – but with these people I have had a nearly uncontrollable desire to talk. I feel uncomfortable about hogging the conversation. To me, it feels ill-mannered and self-centered and I genuinely regret learning less about the other person than if I had spoken less, and yet still these rare people draw from me a torrent of words. I doubt that I have identified all the elements involved, but a key factor is that these people seem to listen intently. They seem to hang on to my every word, giving non-verbal signals, such as laughing at the right times, that make me feel I’m a witty, almost fascinating, conversationalist. Their interest is so convincing that it dispels my normal reservations. These people are not particularly talkative, so they allow lulls in the conversation that give me time to collect my thoughts and proceed. A more talkative person would jump in at that point and by their comments unintentionally take the conversation in a slightly different direction, causing me to lose my train of thought and hence lose the opportunity to contribute to that part of the conversation. Long silences in conversation make me feel uncomfortable, but with these people there are little silences in which they look to me in expectation of me saying something of value and, surprisingly, words come from my mouth.

So if you want your partner to talk more, listen hard. Hang on his every word. Value what he says. Agree with him as much as you possibly can. The very thought probably annoys you. ‘He doesn’t do that to me,’ you object. That is unfortunate. Realistically, however, which of you most needs to be coaxed to talk more? In many countries where narrow vehicular tracks wind up mountains, the road rule is that vehicles going down must give way to ones going up. This is a matter of common sense and courtesy, because it is much easier for a descending vehicle to start again. Talking is often as easy for women as coasting downhill, whereas for men it is like lumbering uphill. So, in conversation, a wise woman aware of her verbal superiority will give way to a man. Applying the brake frustrates her but she realizes that she finds starting again much easier than her husband does. So she tries not to interrupt him when he is speaking but she lets him interrupt her. This gives him greater ease in sharing and ends up more rewarding for both of them.

A wife who leaves her husband only the leftovers in conversations – the times she has lost interest in monopolizing the talking or run out of things to say – has no conception of how much of her marriage’s rich potential she robs herself of.

Timeless Wisdom

Verbal ability is a beautiful gift, but like a man’s physical strength, it can turn ugly if abused. Here’s some ancient wisdom that applies with equal force to both sexes:

	Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
	A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!
	A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
	He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
	Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
	A man of knowledge uses words with restraint . . .  . Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
	He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.
	Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
	When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
	Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
	A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.
	Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
	A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
	Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

SOURCE OF THIS WISDOM

Though thousands of years old, it is astounding to realize that these words have not only been acclaimed throughout history, but they are part of the modern world’s best seller. Like the rest of the Bible, they have truth and divine wisdom stamped all over them.

It might seem unfair that whoever finds talking easiest be the one who must keep her foot on the brake, but it makes a lot of sense. The tragedy is that many wives overpower their husbands with their talking skills, unwittingly acting like verbal bulldozers, and then have the hide to blame the men they have crushed, condemning them for finding talking to their wives less than enjoyable.

The wisdom of talkative wives giving way to their husbands in conversation applies not just in private but is equally important in public, unless the intention is to turn the man into a social recluse. In fact, for most couples in a group setting, the wife will benefit from working hard at drawing her man into the conversation. Steering the conversation toward subjects that interest him will help. Additionally, she could ask his opinion on whatever is being discussed, unless she thinks the topic of so little interest to him that it would only embarrass him to be asked. When she wants to inform friends about something both of them experienced, she could ask her husband to tell the story and try not to correct or add to his version. A wife with natural verbal superiority need not act this way but, having squeezed him out of much of the conversation, she also need not be surprised when he shows little interest in visiting friends with her.

Do Women have a Greater Need to Talk?

Another aspect of the gender difference in communicating is that women tend to process things by talking more than men do. The peculiar thing is that talking about a problem helps women resolve the matter even if, unknown to them, the other person is not even listening. More often for men, to talk is merely to repeat what one already knows. This makes it essentially boring and unproductive for the talker. For women, however, talking is closer to thinking out loud – and, of course, thinking about a problem can be very beneficial.

While women find talking therapeutic, men typically find it counterproductive. For men it is rarely comforting, nor a relief, to talk about their feelings. Men are almost expected not to have feelings, so for them to reveal the truth about their feelings exposes them to the risk of being regarded as being less ‘masculine’ than men are expected to be. Even reminding himself of his ‘unmasculine’ feelings can depress a man. And, rightly or wrongly, they see talking about past traumas as a failure to get on with life and merely perpetuating their agony. For them, quite a proportion of talk falls into the unproductive category of living in the past, even if the event is only a couple of hours old. In addition, to come home from work and talk about their day is for many men neither relaxing, nor a helpful way to unwind. Instead, they find it a wearying re-living of events, equivalent to having to extend their working day and work without pay at the very time when they most need a break from work.

The average man wants to cherish marriage as a haven from the stress and drudgery of his working life. For him, the ideal marriage is an exotic island located far from the pressures of his work; a carefully preserved sanctuary to which he can regularly return and be refreshed. He longs for his marriage to be a haven of peace in the midst of a war torn world; a cozy place where he recharges by putting everything unpleasant out of his mind and relaxes by enjoying a well-earned break with his wife, whom he regards as his best friend. To deliberately spoil this paradise by introducing to it dreary talk of one’s workaday life and problems is, for him, almost like trampling underfoot that which is holy. If there are aspects of his work that he regards as exciting, they might be acceptable to share with his wife, but if to him it is a gray subject, he would prefer not to dull his marriage with it.

If a woman is hoping to find help in coping with a stressful job by talking about it with her partner each time she had a tough day, my immediate reaction is, ‘That poor guy!’ Hopefully, he has little stress in his own life to have the capacity to take on all of hers. A man in this woman’s situation would usually think it his loving duty not to burden his wife with his worries. Gagging himself would be his act of selflessness; his way of honoring his wife and his marriage. A wife, in contrast, might dismiss this as mere escapism. Women often want a sizable part of their marriage not to be a beautiful tropical isle, a sanctuary from their workaday life, but to be a psychiatrist’s couch on which they can verbally work through all their problems and find relief by talking things through.

One partner longs to forget problems; the other longs to dredge them up. What is relaxing to one partner, is stressful to the other. And even more threatening to the relationship: what for one is a loving way to treat a partner, seems to the other most unloving. Of prime importance is not deciding whose coping mechanism works best – that itself might depend on one’s gender – but for the couple simply to realize that they have differing aspirations for marriage, stemming from differing strategies for coping with stress, and there is nothing unusual about being in this predicament.

Loose Lips?

This gender difference in the need to talk manifests itself in yet another frustrating source of marital tension. Some women feel so dependent upon talking about problems in order to think things through and/or gain emotional release, that they feel the need to tell their friends their husband’s most personal and embarrassing secrets – things their men would rather die than confide in their own, most trusted friends, much less have their wife’s friends know.

A woman e-mailed a friend, ending with the words, ‘I just needed to bare my soul.’ The problem was she was not just baring her soul, but her husband’s soul; humiliating him and blabbing about his failings, without him even having the opportunity to defend himself.

‘My husband is trying to control me,’ complained a woman, when all he was doing was asking her to keep quiet about aspects of his personal life, in a desperate attempt to maintain a semblance of dignity.

A secret might seem minor to the wife, but it is not for any of us to decide how mortifying our partner finds something. No matter how lofty a man thinks his motives are – such as feeling proud of his wife – he has no right to show his friends snap shots of his shy wife naked, or of her when she has just woken up and looks a mess. Likewise, a woman has no right to humiliate her husband by revealing to anyone things he believes should be for her eyes and ears alone. If she does, a man is fully justified in regarding it as a devastating betrayal of trust. And if not even his wife will respect him enough to keep a secret, what hope has he that her friends will have higher standards?

This is a most perplexing dilemma because a woman’s need to talk about problems can be so intense that she finds it almost suffocating to be asked to keep a marital secret.

A woman’s need to talk with other people is a need that most men do not have and they find it very difficult to understand. In fact, it is a source of great distress to many husbands. I found it amusing – but I’m sure it was far from amusing to him – to read that even a US President was plagued by this problem. Imagine such a respected man entrusted with national secrets and hounded by journalists eager to expose his personal foibles, lumbered with a wife who cannot stop herself telling her friends his most embarrassing secrets!

Why Men ‘Don’t Listen’

Comprehending speech is also harder work for men than most women realize. In addition, women seem fascinated by detailed descriptions that bore men to distraction. (Countless couples would chuckle in agreement with the saying, Men go for the headlines; women go for the fine print.) These factors combine to drive men to rest their brains, sliding them into neutral, when women gush words. Unfortunately, the more wives talk what their husbands regard as trivia, the more these men are likely not to be listening when something important is said. (I suggest that when a wife has something of real importance to say that she do something physical to get his undivided attention, such as sit on his lap and establish eye contact. Even this will only work for a couple of minutes before his attention is likely to lapse.)

War of Words

Yet another reason for men going silent is that they find verbal conflict more upsetting than women do. This has been demonstrated using such objective measures as heart rate and adrenaline levels (see Bob Beale, From Stone Age to Clone Age, Penguin Books). Men are far more easily and deeply hurt by their wives than they will ever allow themselves to show. Because men don’t react to pain in feminine ways, many wives think they have license to keep plunging the knife in.

When a wife wants to resolve a marital problem by telling her husband some home truths, it isn’t just escapism that can cause him to go silent or walk away. To a man’s frustration in trying to keep up with his wife verbally, add his physical strength and greater innate tendency to resolve things by physical force, and it becomes in the interest of the wife’s safety that men avoid situations that could lead to heated exchanges. Women fight with their lips - and imagine that infliction of pain is acceptable – but men tend to fight with their fists – and everyone agrees this is unacceptable. I am not for a moment suggesting that women avoid discussing relationship problems with their husbands, but many wives need to do so with a greater gentleness and sensitivity to their husband’s feelings and to never corner their husbands but let their men decide when they need to escape the barrage of words and cool down. Men also typically need longer both to get in touch with their feelings and to express them coherently

One woman told me:

When my husband gets upset, he tends to do manual things such as clean up, instead of talking. I feel that talking is important, but Jake will not talk until enough time has elapsed for him to feel able to talk. It sometimes drives me crazy, but it is his way of coping and it is important for me to be patient and realize that Jake is hurting.

How to Get a Man to Talk

Let’s now build upon what we have established and develop practical steps to taking one’s relationship to a new level.

For a woman to reveal her body to her husband without shame or trauma, she needs to feel beautiful and feminine. For a man to reveal his heart he needs to feel masculine. If a wife can recall an incident when her man confessed some little weakness, she should make the most of it by building him up and making him feel positive about such sharing. It would be very beneficial for her to recite the incident and say something like:

I really admire you for having the guts to be open. You’re so much stronger than all those wimpish men who feel forced to pretend they are tough by hiding their feelings. In my eyes you’re a man’s man and I’m proud of you.

And from time to time, especially when her husband opens up a little, she needs to reinforce this. If she does the opposite by labeling him as a man who never expresses his feelings, she will strengthen this self-image and cause him to continue acting this way. The more he knows she sees him as open and articulate, the more inspired he will be to act that way.

If, compared to his wife, talking takes a man more effort and he gains less out of the mechanics of talking, then he needs more motivation to talk than his wife does. The best motivation is if talking increases his awareness that he is loved and accepted.

Relative to women, the average man is not so interested in spieling off facts or reliving the past or thinking out loud and reducing a person to a mere sounding board. He wants to know that in this lonely world he has someone on his side; that he is understood; that he is truly one with someone. If sharing with his wife increases his feeling that she does not understand him or that she thinks his views are mistaken or thinks him weird or does not share his interests, then not only will he find communication unrewarding, it would increase his pain. Ironically, such communication will make him feel lonelier. It will make him feel a misfit and more isolated. It will make him want to clam up.

Many arguments about opinions are not because a man wants to prove his wife wrong but because he yearns for a soul mate. He wants his wife to agree with him, not for the sake of ego but because he longs to feel one with her. He argues not because he loves arguing but because he hates disagreement. It pains him when someone who means much to him is so obviously not one mind with him.

Many a man avoids discussion with someone who disagrees with him because the response he gets intensifies his feeling of aloneness. For other men, to stop arguing would mean they have given up hope of changing the person’s view. To them, this is equivalent to giving up hope of finding in marriage the companionship and connectedness they craved.

Women who watch soapies and sit-coms or read romantic novels are endangering their marriage, like men ruined by porn who cannot be satisfied with the sight of a normal woman’s body. The men portrayed in romantic fiction are the artificial product of writers who spend hours laboring over words their fictitious characters utter in minutes. These fictional ‘men’ are even less real than the airbrushed, never-aging ‘beauties’ that male users of porn become addicted to.

Often a wife’s attitude and expectations have contributed to her husband feeling defeated about how hard it is for him to talk. Many a man has gained the impression that his verbal limitations are yet another thing his wife dislikes about him – or even that she is angry at him for having these limitations. He can feel like someone punished at school for being dyslexic. None of us likes doing anything we have been told we are no good at. It is essential that a wife transform her husband’s attitude to talking from just another duty into something he finds personally rewarding.

If a wife seizes occasions when her man utters more than one word, and uses these times as opportunities to affirm that she is loyal to him, proud of his achievements, supportive of his goals, shares his dreams and feels his pain, then talking will begin to seem worth the effort to him.

For him to talk more, she must talk less, especially on occasions when he begins to talk. She should try not to always have the last word. She needs to ease off using words and instead put more emphasis on unspoken communication. She should give affirmation to what her man says, not by interrupting, nor by flooding him with words, but by eye contact, intently listening, enjoying his jokes, nodding, smiling, groaning, non-verbally showing concern or delight at the appropriate points in the conversation. She should practice the Bible’s famous advice, ‘Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.’ It is not easy to laugh at someone’s jokes when you have heard them five thousand, six hundred and fifty-four times, but be assured that there are women who will find his jokes hilarious – or will at least act as though they do. He’ll like talking to such women and he will wish he had a wife who makes him feel valued and appreciated like these women do.

For two ships to sail in convoy, the faster must reduce its speed to match that of the slower. In the past your husband has tended not to listen because you, the faster talker, have sped off, tiring him out and leaving him behind. If until this point you have often done more than half the talking, begin to correct the imbalance by talking less and listening better.

When his words seem to have definitely dried up, ask a relevant question, but don’t act like an interrogator firing questions in rapid succession. Allow pauses in the conversation. Give him time to collect his thoughts.

It is much easier to believe that a relative stranger is genuinely interested in what one has to say than it is to believe that the wife one has known intimately for years has permanently changed. Consequently, a flirting stranger has a huge credibility advantage over the sudden change of a wife who for years has been sending negative messages. The flirt is far more likely to have an instant effect on a man’s talkativeness. Nevertheless, the wife who makes permanent changes to the way she treats and reacts to her husband will gradually begin reaping the benefits and will eventually overtake the power of the flirt.

It is usually better for anyone planning a permanent change to let the partner know one’s intention, rather than keep the partner guessing as to whether this is an aberration you have no intention of making permanent. If you were to apologize for past behavior – and especially if you were not in the habit of repeating the offence after apologies– a partner would probably be even more convinced that this might be a permanent change, and so accept the new you more quickly and with less skepticism.

If a wife fosters the habit of ‘giving right of way’ to her husband when he lumbers uphill with his mouth, and if she regularly shows intense interest and as much oneness with him as she can muster, the result will not be as effective as a brain transplant. Each of us has certain fundamental limitations that no one can change. It will nevertheless be a significant help in making her man more talkative.

To the above I suggest you add supernatural intervention. What a staggering thought! What a difference it would make if you could enlist the help of the One who knows every hidden or forgotten or unrecognized cause of your every pain and of your every action – and the One who has equally intimate and exhaustive understanding of your partner! What if the One who created you, loves you and your partner so passionately and longs so much for your marriage to reach its highest pinnacles of fulfillment that he wants to use his infinite knowledge and unlimited power to give you his best? You can soar beyond the confines of what is humanly possible. For an introduction to this fascinating realm, read You can find love: What your fantasies reveal.

Windup

The gender difference in talkativeness is exciting. The greater the difference, however, the greater the challenge and the more each partner must adapt. There is no need to fall into despair or defeatism. Instead, rise to the challenge. The more you invest in a relationship, the greater the fulfillment and the greater the eternal honor.